Lady In My Life

I found this on a website
sorry if theres any spelling mistakes


CHAPTER 1
The Meeting

June 20, 1977

I just recently moved to California after graduation to start my college career in the fall. I wanted a high paying job so I could help make payments for my new condo so I applied for a job as a personal assistant at CBS Records.

June 23, 1977

Today was my first interview with Walter Yetnikoff, and I was very nervous because this was a big step from my previous job in Boston. After waiting ten minutes, Mr. Yetnikoff entered the room.

“Nice to meet you Leondra” said Yetnikoff

“Same here” I replied handing him my résumé

After looking through my résumé, the interview officially began.

“So you were an office assistant in Boston before coming here ?” asked Yetnikoff

“Yes.” I stated

“So you have some experience” said Yetnikoff

“Yes sir I do”

“So why do you think you would be suited for this job?”

Think that I had somewhat answered this question I began to grow frustrated.
“I think I’m suited for the job because as I stated before, I have experience, I am a very good communicator and I am very reliable.” I ended.

Yetnikoff then ended the interview: “ I think you’re a great candidate for the job but I have to check your resources.”

“I understand.” I replied.

Before leaving the room Yetnikoff stated, “ I also think you have great qualities and you are very young. You’re 18 right?”

“Yes sir.” I replied

“Well just so you know, being a personal assistant requires a lot of time”

“Yes Mr. Yetnikoff, I understand”

“We’ll give you a call to let you know if you got the job.”

Yetnikoff then shook my hand and left, I then headed home. When I got home I was very bored, I missed my boyfriend Marcus. I hated to leave him in Boston.


June 30, 1977


It was a week after my interview with Walter Yetnikoff and my hopes were pretty low on whether I would get the job or not. There were many other applicants with my standards and some higher than mine. To my surprise, my phone rang, It was Walter Yetnikoff.

“Hello, is this Leondra?” Yetnikoff asked.

“Yes, this is she.” I replied nervously.

“We’ll I’m calling to inform you that you got the job” Yetnikoff happily stated.

I kept my composure until I got of the phone and thanked Yetnikoff for hiring me. My job was to begin early in the morning.


July 1, 1977


I was my first day on the job and I met Mr. Yetnikoff. He gave me the details of my job, but who I was a personal assistant for kind of shocked me.

“Your job is to be Michael Jackson’s personal assistant. Michael is on his way to meet you” said Yetnikoff.

I waited for at least a couple of hours before he arrived.

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I was on my way to CBS records to meet my new assistant and I was pretty nervous, all I know is that Yetnikoff told me it was a girl. Being very shy around girls, I don’t know how I am going to communicate with her. I do have to admit it was good to have someone around that would help me keep my things straight.

After a two hour ride, I arrived at CBS records headquarters. Mr. Yetnikoff then led me to my personal assistant.

“Michael, I would like you to meet Leondra, your personal assistant” said Yetnikoff.

This girl was stunning. She had on a black dress that was covered in red flowers. I take it that she is very mysterious; she was wearing dark glasses and very reserved and quiet. I also can tell she was a little shy. I think that I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

After Walter left, I was the first to extend my hand.

“Nice to meet you Leondra.”

“Nice to meet you too.” she said in a soft voice.

It was hard for a conversation to begin knowing that we were both shy so I began.

“So where are you from?” I asked politely

“I’m originally from Boston, but I just moved here after graduating from high school” she stated.

“So you’re new around here and I don’t mean to get personal, but you’re 18?” I asked while fumbling with my fingers.

“It’s not a big deal, but yes I’m new around here and yes I’m 18” she shot back.

I thought to myself that I could have a chance, she’s 18 and I’m almost 19. So after the conversation ended, we headed back to my house in Encino where I lived with my family. Bill had driven us back. The ride was very quiet on the way there but Bill had asked a few questions as I assumed Walter did during the interview. I did feel bad because I couldn’t make any eye contact with her, I was so shy as much as she was.
When we reached the house, Joseph, Mother and Janet had greeted us, at least I would say Mother and Janet. Joseph had this cold stare that could kill but I hope Leondra wasn’t intimidated. If she was, you couldn’t see it because of her glasses. I wouldn’t doubt, if she was intimidating him. Before I or Mother could say anything, Janet snatched Leondra by the hand and they went off to play. I could see that Dunk is going to be good friends even if she is seven years younger.
After a good two hours, Janet finally did away with her games and took a nap. I was able to get reacquainted with Leondra. So I gave her a tour around the house before her job actually began. I could feel myself opening up to her but she was yet to do the same . I hate to admit it but her first job for me was to help me clean up my room. Things were everywhere, but I did offer help because she was wearing a dress. The room took a good hour to clean, I felt so much better.

“Thanks for cleaning my room” I said.

“No problem, but you did help” she replied.

I feel like cleaning my room helped her and I open up to each other a bit more, not as much as I had wanted us to. She never took off her glasses though, not with anyone so I felt obliged to get her to take them off.

“I don’t mean to pry, but why do you still have your glasses on?” I asked

“’Cause I want to keep them on” she replied

“You can take them off if you want to, feel at home, you’re making me feel bad,” I said using reverse psychology.

“Sorry, It’s just how I am”. she said

Then she took off her glasses, and God she had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were dark chocolate brown, but even with her glasses off, her eyes had mystery in them. She stayed around for another hour before I dismissed her from her first day on the job.


************************************************************************

I got home about seven o’clock when my phone rang.

“Hello Leondra, this is Michael”

“Hi, Michael”.

“I was just checking to see if you got home safe”

“Yes, yes I did thank you for caring.”

The phone was silent for awhile.

“Soooo,” Michael said nervously, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You bet.” I said

We then said our goodbyes and hung up the phone.


July 2, 1977


It was the next morning when I got a surprise call from my boyfriend in Boston.

“Hello, Love” said Marcus

Not recognizing the number, I proceeded to ask who it was.

“It’s Marcus” he said

“Hey Marcus” I said with excitement.

“How are you holding up over there?” he asked

“ I’m doing pretty well, but I miss you so much” I said sounding sad

“Well babe, I miss you too, so much that I coming to see you on the fourth”

“Really?!!!” I asked

“Yes, and probably permanently, I want to keep our promise in tact to get married soon” he said.

“Ok Marcus, I gotta get to work, but I love you and I’ll see you soon” I said

“I love you too” said Marcus

That conversation had brightened up my day, my boyfriend is coming to California, and possibly permanently. But thinking back to yesterday, I wasn’t at all star struck by Michael’s presence. I think the connection was further lost when I met Joseph, somewhat I think this may not be the greatest job in the world, working for a pop star, but it was nice for Michael to call and see if I got home safe.

While I was at work, I was able to meet the rest of the family, I really felt like I connected with La Toya very well, but it was strange how I connected with the rest of the family faster than I am doing with Michael. However, me and La Toya exchanged numbers before I left after doing my job. I was just looking forward to seeing my boyfriend again.

************************************************************************

After Leondra had left, out of nowhere, I had struck a conversation with La Toya. I think somehow I may end up regretting the conversation.

“Hey Michael, what do you think about Leondra?” La Toya asked

“I Think she’s okay, but I hoped to connect better than we have been. She’s already friends with you and you just met her today” I complained.

“You like her don’t you?” La Toya asked teasingly.

“NO!!!, what makes you think that?” I shouted.

“Michael, you’re my brother, I know when you like someone” she replied

“Okay,” I said submissively “Yes, I do like her, but she’ll never go out with me, I got pimples real bad.”

“Michael, she’ll come around, she is just shy. Do you want me to ask her?”

“No!! just keep it between us” I concluded.

“What about the party?”

“Just Invite her, I don’t care.” I said as I left the room.

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Right before I went to bed my phone rang, it was La Toya.

“Leondra, what’s up?”

“Nothing, just about to go to bed” I said.

“I don’t want to keep you but were having a party on the day you have off so I want invite you,”

“Sure” I said as I climbed in the bed.

“Ok, but there is one thing I wanted to ask you,”

“Ok, shoot” I said while shutting my eyes”

“If my brother asked you out, would you go with him?”

My eyes quickly reopened.

“What makes you ask that?” I asked curiously.

“I was supposed to keep it a secret, but Michael likes you”

“I’m flattered but I already have a boyfriend” I said. “Why would he wanna go out with me?”

“I dunno. Ok then, I just wanted to know, I’ll see you at the party then”

“Ok”

We both hung up. But what La Toya said just bothered me, so I wasn’t able to sleep for awhile.


July 4, 1977


It was the big day, my boyfriend was coming over in a few hours. I was surprised that he knew how to get here without asking me for directions. Even though I was excited about my boyfriend coming over, I still thought about what La Toya had told me two nights ago, it bothered me a lot. Anyways, In those few hours, I took a shower, put on my boyfriend’s favorite dress and perfume. Then the doorbell rang.
It was Marcus and he just lifted me up and hugged me. After putting me down, we kissed, I didn’t let it go any further knowing our promises, and he understood that. So we talked for a while and caught up. It was only a month since I moved here, but a month without each other means a lot to both of us. I only had one concern, if he was staying permanently.

“How long are you staying?” I asked

“Permanently” he said.

Before I could say anything, he said he had gotten his own place because he knew that would probably be what I had wanted. I didn’t want our hormones to get out of control. For the rest of the day, we cuddled up and watched TV. I think we kissed more than watching TV. After 10 o’clock, Marcus left. I had the rest of the week off, but I had to prepare for the upcoming party on Saturday.


July 9, 1977


I arrived at the Jackson’s house around noon. I didn’t see Michael around so I headed straight for the pool. I didn’t get in, I just soaked my feet in it. It was only a minute when I was greeted by Marlon at the pool.

“Heyyy Leondra” said Marlon

“Hi, Marlon” I replied. “How does it feel to be out on your own?” I asked.

“It feels pretty good.” said Marlon. “What ‘bout you?”

“I think it’s fine, it’s just the environment that I need to get used to.”

We talked for five minutes when we were joined by Michael. Michael didn’t say anything, and neither did I, so Marlon and I kept talking until Joseph came. There was something about Marlon and Michael’s greeting that shocked me, they called him Joseph and not dad. I had to ask.

“Why do you guys call him Joseph and not dad?” I asked.

Both of them looked at one another before Marlon said:

“Mike, I think you better tell her.”

Michael replied with a fast ok before he took me to the side.

“Come with me” said Michael.

So, I followed him to his room and then he locked the door. I thought to myself that this is real serious.

“Michael, are you sure you wanna go through with this?” I asked puzzled.

“Yeah, yes I do.”

For a couple hours, Michael told me why they call him Joseph, and he added some of the torture techniques that Joe used on them. These were things I didn’t need to hear. I did see the hurt in his eyes and that made me feel even worse about his crush on me. That’s when I felt like we finally connected. After that we got up, and Michael unlocked and opened the door. Before I walked out Michael fainted. I caught him in my arms when Joe was standing at the door. He immediately snatched Michael out of my arms and laid him on the bed. I stayed with Michael until he woke up. Marcus wanted to pick me up but I told him to wait awhile upon the news that Michael fainted. Joe told me not to worry because this happens all the time. After twenty minutes he finally woke up.

************************************************************************

I woke up and I don’t know what happened but I felt so happy to see that Leondra was sitting by my by bedside. I nearly melted when I found out that she was holding my hand.

“Are you okay?” Leondra asked concerned.

“I guess. Thank you for staying with me.” I replied

“No problem” said Leondra.

“I think-”

Before I could say anything else, somebody called for Leondra. It broke my heart to find out that it was her boyfriend that was here to pick her up. I could’ve died right there. When Leondra left, I went back to my room and I cried my eyes out in the dark. During this heartbreaking moment, La Toya had knocked on my door and I didn’t want to be bothered so I told her to go away. I felt at least a little better when she told me that it was a call from Sidney Lumet, a director of the upcoming film, “The Wiz”. I had auditioned a couple months earlier and he called to tell me I got the part of the Scarecrow.
Soon after hanging up, La Toya had told me that Joseph had assigned La Toya to go on the trip to New York to begin filming. We had already rented an apartment on account of the months we would spend there filming. I called up Leondra to tell her to begin packing for the trip, she would be living with us. Leondra was excited to go but I felt a little better about the fact that she asked how I was doing. We were set to head for New York next week.

************************************************************************

After I heard the news, I began packing for New York. My boyfriend wasn’t coming, but that is what started a argument between him and I.

“You know I don’t trust Michael, I bet his faint was staged.” Marcus screamed

“YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE SO HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!!!??” I yelled.

“I bet he likes you” Marcus alleged.

“Are you drunk?” I asked him.

Marcus replied, “Maybe I am” Then he laughed sarcastically.

That laugh pissed me off. From there, I remained silent and proceeded to walk out of the house when Marcus grabbed me by my arm. As I pulled away, Marcus punched me in the eye, and I fell to the floor fast. All I saw were stars, but I was shocked, I thought this kind of behavior wouldn’t come from him. I also saw the shock on his face.

“My God,” he gasped. “I am so sorry” Marcus cried.

“Get Out!!!” I yelled.

He soon left my house. I just went to bed, crying.


July 10, 1977

The minute I woke up, I went straight to the mirror and saw the right eye was black. How am I supposed to go somewhere with a black eye? I just continued to pack my suitcase; I was leaving tomorrow. I also saw many messages on the machines, and they were all from Marcus. He was begging and pleading on these messages telling me to please call him; he sounded so pathetic, so ignored them.

July 11, 1977


I couldn’t walk around with a black eye so I put my glasses on to cover it. I then jumped in the car to head to the Encino mansion.

************************************************************************

When Leondra arrived, I was fixated on her glasses, she hasn’t worn them for a while, so I figured something was up. She remained quiet. I was seated across the aisle from Leondra, and I was seated next to La Toya. I had told her that something was up. When I was staring at her, she caught my eye and gave me a faint smile; then she looked back out of the window. I moved across the aisle to sit next to her because the two other seats were empty.

I started the conversation with, “What’s with the glasses? you haven’t worn them in a while.”

She was still looking out the window when she gave me a fast answer, “It’s no big deal”.

“Please take them off” I begged.

“No.” she replied

After that answer, I reached up to her face and took her glasses off. She had a black eye which made me angry; I know she didn’t do that by herself.

“What happened?” I asked angrily

“Michael, I fell okay?” she shot back.

“No you didn’t.” I said

“Michael it’s something that isn‘t your business, I’m fine.” she said.

She began to tear up, which really hurt me deeply. I tried to embrace her by wrapping my arm around her, but she pushed my arm away. I didn’t know exactly what happened, but it felt good to know she was going to be away from that a**hole that she called her boyfriend. I know he did this to her. Somewhere down the road we will cross paths.

************************************************************************

I hated to cry in front of Michael, I know he knew what happened to me. I didn’t have to tell him, but it was none of his business. I still loved Marcus though; hopefully he won’t do it again. I felt there was a Marcus there that I never seen before. I don’t know if I want to see him ever again, I thought. I then drifted off to sleep.
I woke up listening to Michael’s heartbeat, he was still awake just staring ahead. He looked down at me and smiled. I lifted my head and turned the other way. I didn’t bring up the argument that me and Marcus had.

“Did you sleep well?” Michael asked

“Yes I did, thank you for asking.” I said

“So can you tell me what happened to your eye?” He asked concerned.

“Michael, I-” I paused

“You have to tell me what happened”. He said

He looked at me with those eyes of concern. I have to admit, he looked real charming, then I finally told him what happened. After the story, I seen a side of Michael that I never seen in the time I had known him, From there, he remained silent. I felt guilty about what happened between me and Marcus because I was being abused by my brother and father when I was living in Boston. It brought back a lot of painful memories but I usually fought back in those situations, in this one, it was very unexpected.
We soon arrived in New York. Before getting off the plane, I put my glasses back on. Michael didn’t want any attention put on me, so he left that alone. After that, the three of us headed to our rented apartment. On the way there, Michael had this stare, which was strange; he could never look at me in the eyes anyway. I thought back to what La Toya said and I hope and pray that Michael doesn’t take what happened to me personal. The apartment we stayed in was beautiful, it was big had a view of the New York City skyline. Feeling a whole bunch of regret and sorrow, I headed straight for my room to think about what was going to happen when I return to California and then I drifted off to sleep.

************************************************************************

I felt extremely bad of what happened to Leondra. I wanted to see if she was okay, so I decided to check on her. She let me come in and we talked but she then told me about her abusive past as I did back in Encino. We both sat on the bed as she told me her story.

“Michael…” she said sadly.

“Yes Leondra?” I asked

“There is something about my past I would like to tell you about, but can stop staring at my black eye?”

“Sorry,“ I said looking away. “Are you sure you wanna go through with this?” I asked

“Yes” she said. “ Michael, when you told me about your past, it kinda reminded me of mine except I wasn’t in the spotlight. I was abused by both my brother and father almost on an everyday basis”.

My heart sank.

“When I was very little, I used to watch my father beat my mother, and there was nothing I or my brother could do about it. As he and I got older, he began to abuse me, almost to the point of unconsciousness.”

She began to break down, there was nothing I could do but to console her. I asked her if she wanted to stop, she refused. I guess this was a way for her to connect with me, up until this point she was a mystery. All of the mystery drifted away in her story.

“That is why I was so afraid when Marcus struck me, I thought it may be worse. Even if he is my boyfriend, there is still that distrust in him because of the abuse I suffered. Everyone who abused me was a man.”

And that was when it hit me, she was distant because of this, I should’ve known, I was in the same situation. That is why it took her long to open up to me. I want to be there and do whatever I can to protect her. I like her…a lot. She still had tears in her eyes. I lifted her chin with my finger for her eyes to meet mine and I wiped her tears away. That was the first genuine smile I have ever gotten from her in the time we have known each other.

“Thanks”

“You’re welcome” I said.

“So when do you start filming?”

“I start filming tomorrow but I want you to meet Diana Ross” I said

“Ok” she said.

I then walked out of her room. La Toya stopped me when I was on the way to my room to ask me what the conversation was about, I gave her no details. She said she’ll get it out of one of us. I don’t think so, that is our secret. I went to bed so I can get up early to get ready for tomorrow.

CHAPTER 2
The Trip

July 12, 1977

Today is the day that I start filming as the Scarecrow, and I am very excited about the fact that I can see Diana Ross again. Plus I was happy to be able to introduce Leondra to her. La Toya decided to stay so Leondra and I got ready to go to the set. It took us a hour to get to the set depending on traffic. Right after getting out of the car and helping Leondra out, I spotted Diana and I ran to her, leaving Leondra in the dust.

“Michael!!!” screamed Diana

“How are you?” I asked

“I’m good”

Diana spotted Leondra standing alone and I went over to her.

“Hold on”

I grabbed Leondra by the hand, and brought her over to Diana. I left them alone to talk as I started filming.

************************************************************************

It was great to meet Diana, we had a lot in common except she was older. I didn’t really get to talk to her that long because her parts were coming in so I left to explore the rest of the set. After three hours I took a break and left for the apartment for awhile. When I reached the apartment, La Toya had told me that Marcus called asking for me. Oblivious to what happened, La Toya asked why he would sound so frantic.

“It’s no big deal, he’s always like that” I lied to her. So she just left it alone and I told her I would call him back later after work. After break, I headed back to the set for another six hours until they were done for the day.

************************************************************************

It was time to head back to the apartment when Diana stopped me. I told Leondra to just head back to the apartment, and she went. I watched her disappear into the crowd.

“Why haven’t you asked her out yet?” Diana asked

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” I asked myself

“You two would make a good couple, you ought to ask her.”

“I can’t” I said with desolation.

“Why not?”

“She already has a boyfriend.”

“Well ask her anyway”

“I don’t wanna do that”

“Ok then” She was silent for a moment “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” and I left.

As I was on the way back to the apartment, I thought about what Diana said. Maybe I should ask her, I thought, then I left the subject alone.

************************************************************************

I was on the phone with Marcus for about an hour. It was like talking to a nut, he was completely inebriated, and it was hard trying to get through to him. His speech was very incoherent, and it was sometimes hard for me to understand. I finally gave up with him, and told him to call me when he was sober and hung up the phone. This was one side I never seen of Marcus. He had a good job of being a business executive, what more could he want?
Michael then walked in asking me if I was okay, I told him I was fine, but he wouldn’t leave me alone, he knew I wasn’t okay. I didn’t want to tell him that my boyfriend, who I had desperately waited for had turned into a raging alcoholic. So I told him a lie, he left me alone then, but he left with a questioned look on his face.

************************************************************************

September 5, 1977

I had the day off from filming because Diana suffered eye damage from the lasers. La Toya was gone because she felt bored, so it was me and Leondra; she still had a black eye, but it was fading. I know she wanted company.

“Hey, do you wanna see a movie?” I asked.

“Sure -”

“With me?” I asked. She gave me a puzzled look. “Forget I asked you that.”

“It’s ok Michael, what movie is it?”

“Um, King Kong.”

“Ok, come sit.” I motioned her over.

************************************************************************

I enjoyed watching the movie with Michael, he seemed into the movie, but we sat on opposite sides of the couch. I felt awkward when I looked down, and I saw Michael’s hand slide over to mine. I gave him a confused look.

“Michael, are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s a good movie.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. You’re holding my hand.”

“Is it a problem, ‘cause if it is…”

“No, it’s fine.”

************************************************************************

I felt strange after she asked me about my hand. As she was looking at the movie, I was looking at her. Her hair covered her faded black eye, so I removed the strand; she had a sad look on her face when she turned to face me.

“Michael, I’m okay.”

“Then why do you look sad?” I asked; my hand caressing her cheek. She looked down, but removed my hand from her cheek, got up and left the room.

I found her in her room in the dark, crying and laying in her bed. I turned on the light.

“Leondra, what’s the matter?” I asked. There was no reply.

I sat on the bed and got underneath the covers with her.

“You know you can tell me anything. I’m here for you…”

She sat up. “Michael, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Worry? you’re crying on the job, now what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if I want to see him ever again.”

“Who?”

“My boyfriend.”

“You can always stay with me…”

“Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.” She implied. She began to sob quietly.

I embraced her and began singing Charlie Chaplin’s Smile. She began resting her head on my chest.

She looked into my eyes and said “Thanks…I feel better.”

“I feel better now that you feel better.”

From there we remained quiet. I was taken aback when she kissed me on the cheek and looked away. I lifted her chin and gave her a quick peck on her lips.

“Michael,” she said puzzled. “What was that for?”

“That’s how my family says “you’re welcome.”

She chuckled. “Is it really?”

“No, just kidding. that’s how I say “you‘re welcome.” I said, my cheeks turning red.

“Michael, is there something that you want to tell me?” she asked breaking the hug.

“No. Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

I walked out feeling better, it was my first kiss, but a short one.

November 1, 1977

Filming was over and I wasn’t ready to deal with life back in Encino. I don’t wanna face my father again. It felt so good being away from him, but I guess all good things have to come to an end right?
I had a good experience in New York City. Me and Leondra got along just fine, I got a producer, Quincy Jones to help me on my first solo album with Epic.
When the plane landed, the first person I saw was Joseph, I kept my composure to avoid regurgitating or fainting in front of the public. I did see Leondra…and Marcus, apparently, they had reconciled over the phone while we were in New York. I felt bad for her, really, she was about to face the same person before she left. I know, I seen Joseph do it to Mother and it hurts to see that happen to someone you truly care about. No matter what, I’ll be there…always.
In the next few months, my brothers and I prepared for a tour, The Jacksons Tour that was to happen in May of next year. In December, I gave Leondra, the month off to go to Boston where her paternal family lives and to Missouri, where her maternal family lives. The next year was going to be very busy for both of us so I gave her a big rest before then.

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March 3, 1978

I have been working for Michael for almost a year now and it has been fun, but I secretly had started college in January to help become a lawyer. Having studied some in high school gave me a little bit of an advantage. I had to tell Michael, that I was quitting my job to becoming a lawyer, but when? I don’t know.
In the last months, Marcus and I had gotten along, I forgave him, but I didn’t forget. I’ll admit that we did get into some big arguments, but he never did lay a hand on me, not after the first time. He still was an alcoholic, which scared me, because he was sometimes violent in words. There were a few times he would try to pressure me for sex, but I said “we’re not married, how many times do I have to tell you?” I wanted to get him away from the alcohol.

March 5, 1978

It has been a day since Marcus made a promise that he will never drink again. Before he made a promise to stop drinking, he told me that I had no idea what he’s been through.
Aside from that, I had to break the news to Michael, and I had to do it soon.


March 6, 1978

After rehearsal, I decided that I wanted to tell Michael, so I pulled him aside.

“Michael, I have something to tell you”

“Yeah?” He asked worried. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah” I paused. “I’m quitting my job to become a lawyer in this state” I said.

I saw the immediate hurt in his face then I tried to cheer him up.

“I’ll still be around Michael, don’t worry about that”.

He remained silent for a while, then he said, “Okay, but there’s one thing I would like to ask you”

“Yes, Michael?”

“I’ve seen you drive…and I wonder if you can teach me?”

“Okay, Michael it’s a deal, but we have to do it soon, let’s set a date for April 14th”

“Alright, but I think I have an interview that day at 2:00pm so just come at four”

“It’s a deal” I said. We then exchanged hugs and I left. Wow, he took it a lot better than I thought.

************************************************************************

It had been I guess not more than two minutes after Leondra left. I kept cool until after rehearsal and headed straight for my room, where I broke down. I locked my door just to make sure no one would come in. I will never be able to get a chance with her.

April 14, 1978

I hadn’t seen Leondra in a month since she told me the news, but we still talked over the phone, it was almost two and J. Randy Taraborelli was set to interview my brothers and I. In that time, I had met a girl named Tatum O’Neal.


"How come you're not getting your guests lemonade?" Mother asked when she came into the room.

"Oh, sorry," I murmured. I dashed off to the kitchen.

For about 20 minutes, Mother talked to J. Randy Taraborelli and I did hear her mention how she was worried about my eating habits.

"Only now I can't get him to eat anything. I try and try," she said ."I keep thinking he'll eat when he gets hungry, but the boy never gets hungry. Have you noticed how skinny he is? It worries me."

I came back into the room with two glasses of lemonade. I handed one to Taraborelli and the other to the photographer and then sat in a chair, lotus position. Mother then excused herself. During our two-hour interview, I shared my thoughts on a wide range of topics.

"I don't know much about politics," I admitted. "Nothing, I guess. Someone told me recently that Gerald Ford was president." I was in good spirits this afternoon, I laughed with him because he was certain we were sharing a joke, but we weren't. I was serious.

"I remember when he was vice-president," I continued thoughtfully. "That I remember. But president?" I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "That I missed."

I‘ll admit, I am quite naive about current events. He began to probe deeper. "How do you keep up with current events? Do you read newspapers? Watch TV?"

"I watch cartoons," I told him. "I love cartoons." My eyes lit up. "I love Disney so much. The Magic Kingdom. Disneyland. It's such a magical place. Walt Disney was a dreamer, like me. And he made his dreams come true, like me. I hope."

"What about current events?"

I looked at him blankly, "Current events?"

"Do you read the paper?" he repeated.

I shook my head no. "See, I like show business. I listen to music all the time. I watch old movies. Fred Astaire movies. Gene Kelly, I love. And Sammy Davis. I can watch those guys all day, twenty-four hours a day. That's what I love the most. Show business, you know?"

We talked about old movies for a while, and about my involvement in The Wiz, the film I had just finished shooting in which I play the Scarecrow. He asked me what I saw as my biggest professional challenge.

"To live up to what Joseph expects of me."

"Joseph? Who's Joseph?" He wondered.

"My father, Joseph."

"You call your father by his first name?" He asked.

"Uh-huh."

"And living up to what he expects of you is a professional challenge?"

I mulled over his question. "Yes. A professional challenge."

"What about the personal challenges?"

"My professional challenges and personal challenges are the same thing," I said uneasily.

"I just want to entertain. See, when I was in the second grade, the teacher asked me what I wished for. I asked for a mansion, for peace in the world, and to be able to entertain...Can we talk about something else?"

"Do you have any friends that you can really confide in?"

I squirmed. "No, not really. I guess I'm pretty lonely."

"How about Tatum O'Neal?" He wondered.

I shrugged my shoulders. "She's nice. She and Ryan were on my side, helping me with my lines, and I owe them a lot. Tatum understands me, I guess. She introduces me to people, famous, famous people. But my real dates, they're the girls who stand outside the gate out there. I go out and sign autographs for them when I can. They like that. They stay on one side of the gate, and I stay on the other."

"You mean you keep the gate closed?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah. Of course."

"Any other friends?"

"Well, I do have one friend," I said. "A very dear, close friend that I can tell my deepest, darkest secrets to because I know she won't tell anyone, not another living soul. Her name is..." I paused dramatically. "Miss Diana Ross."

"You have deep, dark secrets, Michael?"

I laughed, "Everybody has deep, dark secrets."

At this point, I was joined by my brothers Jackie, Tito, Marlon, and Randy.
I talked about the group's success at Motown and about the fanatical hysteria generated by their fame, which Motown tagged "Jacksonmania."

"Once at a record store in San Francisco, over a thousand kids showed up," I said in a hushed tone. "They all pushed forward and broke a window. A big piece of glass fell on top of this girl. And the girl's throat..." I paused for effect, "was slit." I swiftly ran my index finger across my neck.

"Michael, don't do that. That's gross," Randy, said.

I ignored Randy and continued with my story. "She just got slit. And I remember there was blood everywhere. Oh God, so much blood. And she grabbed her throat and was bleeding and everyone just ignored her. Why? Because I was there and they wanted to grab at me and get my autograph." I sighed. "I wonder whatever happened to that girl."

"Probably dead," Tito muttered. Jackie tried to stifle a laugh.

Fans were as much a curse as a blessing. "We got three guard dogs. One is Heavy, one is Black Girl, and the other one don't got no name," I said. "We have to have them," I insisted. "See, once a lady jumped over the gate and into the house and sat down in the den. We came home, and she looked at us and what did she say?" I turned to Marlon for help. "What'd that lady say?"

"She said, 'I'm here cause God sent me,'" Marlon replied.

"Yeah, God sent her," I repeated.

Jackie laughed again. "Yeah, God sent her to sit in the Jackson 5's den and wait for them to get home so she can get their autograph, and maybe her picture with ‘em too. She was on a divine mission. Man, that's funny."

"And then once, a whole family managed to get into the estate somehow, and they toured the whole house," I continued. "Lookin' all in our stuff. Findin' all our most private things. And Janet was here all by herself. It was scary. And sometimes, fans ask weird questions. They don't think you're real. Once a fan asked me the most embarrassing question and in front of everyone. She said, "Do you go to the bathroom?" I was so embarrassed."

In the middle of the interview, the good-natured ribbing among the brothers turned nasty when someone brought up the subject of nicknames.

"Mike has a nickname," Jackie mentioned. "It's a real good one."

My smiling face suddenly turned dead serious. "Don't, Jackie," I warned. I looked away.
"We call him-"

"Please, you guys!" I pleaded.

Just before then, Leondra had walked in, it was a little past four o’clock.

"Big Nose," Jackie continued, oblivious to my embarrassment. My brothers laughed among themselves. My face became flushed.

"Yeah, Big Nose," Marlon repeated, grinning. "We call him Big Nose." Marlon reached over and punched me on the arm playfully. "What's happenin', Big Nose?"
But I was not laughing. I curled up inside myself. The others ignored me, continuing their game until I seemed close to tears. I would hardly say anything the rest of the afternoon.
"That ain't funny, guys," Tito said in his monotone.

After that, I took a few pictures with Taraborelli and my interview came to a halt as he spoke with Joseph. I was very embarrassed, I know Leondra heard what they called me. After his interview with Joseph, I gave Taraborelli final thoughts about my life and career. I crossed my left leg over my right knee and began absentmindedly picking at my toenails.

"When I'm not onstage, I'm not the same. I'm different," I observed. "I think I'm some kind of stage addict. When I don't get onto a stage for a long time, I have fits and get real crazy. I start crying, and I act weird and all freaked out. No kiddin', I do. I start to dancin' round the house.” I began to talk rapidly. "It's like a part of me is missin' and I gotta get it back, cause if I don't, I won't be complete. So I gotta dance and I gotta sing, you know? I have this craving. Onstage is the only place I'm comfortable. I'm not comfortable around...," I paused, searching for the right word, "normal people. But when I get out onstage, I really open up and I have no problems. Whatever is happening in my life don't matter no more. I'm up there and cuttin' loose and I say to myself, "This is it. This is home. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be, where God meant for me to be." I'm unlimited when I'm onstage. I'm number one. But when I'm off the stage," I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm not really..." Again I paused, trying to find the right word. "Happy."

I then left to my room forgetting Leondra was here. I didn’t want to face her after the name calling there. I locked my door. After a few minutes, Mother came knocking on my door, I told her to go away.

“Leondra wants to talk to you” said Mother

After a few minutes, I soon let Leondra and only Leondra in, I was pretty mad.

“Sorry about the name calling thing” said Leondra

“Oh boy, do you really have to rub it in?” I asked agitated.

“Look Michael, I am here to teach you how to drive, not to make fun of you.” She paused. “And besides, your nose is very cute…”

“Really?!! Thanks” I said cheerfully.

“Ok let’s go” she said grabbing my arm.

After about an three hours of lessons, I think I got the basics, she said I needed a little more practice though. I was never able to drive until was 18, it goes for all Jacksons. I could take a little criticism though, I just need to finish before the tour on May 13th. So we scheduled another three hour lesson sometime in the next two weeks.

************************************************************************

Those three hours were fun, really. Michael is a fast learner but he does need a little more practice. He ran over a lot of plants outside of the Encino home. I do kinda miss working for him full time. I then began on my homework, I had an exam in the morning.

April 30, 1978

It was time for another three hour lesson in driving. As I walked up to the house, I seen a younger woman, maybe 13 or 14 years of age. Feeling the urge, I asked Michael who she was.
“Oh, her name is Tatum, she’s my girlfriend” he said.

I was taken aback on how a twenty year old can date someone that young. I was a little jealous because I was starting to have feelings for him, even though I’m with Marcus. On the other hand, I was happy for him because he found someone he could love. As he was driving, he asked me about how my studies were going. As a freshman in college, I was doing pretty well.
I think Michael did learn all he needed to learn, especially to keep his eyes on the road, he had a big problem with that. After, I headed home at about six o’clock got ready for class tomorrow.

May 13, 1978

There was no class today and I got a free ticket and a backstage pass to go to the opening of the Jacksons Tour in Dodgers Stadium. I have never seen Michael or his brothers perform so I was pretty excited. I met Michael backstage and to be honest he was nervous so I held his hands until he was ready to go on stage.
When he got on stage, he was just phenomenal, I was amazed on how he could move like that. After that I headed backstage and we exchanged hugs and I left, I wouldn’t be able to go see him for the rest of the tour so I had a great experience with this one.
After coming home at about midnight, an hour later, Marcus called to ask why I haven’t called him in a while. Well hell, it was only two days since I talked to him I thought. He was beginning to get on my nerves. Feeling extremely tired, I just hung up the phone and went to bed.

June 15, 1978

I was at peace, knowing that Marcus hasn’t been drinking in three months. He had proposed to me last month, and I accepted.

************************************************************************

July 4, 1978

I was on the beach at my brother Jermaine's house, about half a block away along the waterfront. I was messing around in the surf, and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. No air. Nothing. I asked myself what's wrong? I tried not to panic, but I ran back to the house to find Jermaine, who took me to the hospital. It was wild.
As I waited for the doctor to come back, Leondra came in to visit me. She seemed distant, like we were after we first met. She hasn’t answered any of my phone calls and I worry about her, even if I’m with Tatum.
She stayed for a while, but her boyfriend was outside waiting for her. Later, I found out from the doctor that a blood vessel had burst in my lung. I later learned that this condition was related to pleurisy. My doctor suggested that I try to take things a little slower, but my schedule would not permit it.

October 27, 1978

Last week was when the movie theater would premiere The Wiz. It ended up being a flop a the box office. It was a good experience, but hell, there will be better movies down the road. I hope to direct and produce some of my own someday.

December 4, 1978

The tours had ended and my schedule was ready for the recording of my first Epic solo album. I spent hours upon hours writing material and I was ready for all the world to see.

December 10, 1978

I had a day off and I received this phone call from Tate. She had called me over to her house, she was telling me all the stuff she was going to do to me. Being a tough guy, I went over there. She then told me to sit on the bed, which I did. She then opened the curtains to allow sunlight. The skyline was very beautiful, but I was nervous because I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve witnessed it and heard it while I was pretending to be on tour but I never experienced it.
As I sat on the bed, she came over and I laid down. She then touched the button on my shirt to open it and that was when I covered my face with my hands…and I wouldn’t let them down, she walked away, and I left her house, kinda relieved. I wanted someone to be my first, it wasn’t her and I wasn’t married.

************************************************************************

May 31, 1979

I was almost halfway through my sophomore year in college. Even though I was happy being successful academically, I wasn’t happy personally. My relationship with my boyfriend had worsened. His abuse did continue occasionally, but I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t want to turn to Michael because I didn’t want him to get hurt. He was also busy with his tour and about to finish his album, I’m told. I haven’t talked to him since that accident on July 4th of last year.
It was six pm. I gave Marcus one more chance to show me he was sorry. Instead, I found his drunk a** stumbling at my door. My dumb a** let him in because I didn’t want him to make a bigger scene than he already did outside. I’m pretty sure one of the neighbors had called the police already.

“Let’s make love” said Marcus

“NO!!” I screamed

“But we’re getting married.”

“So. Maybe we won‘t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re drunk Marcus, you broke our promise.”

“I’m sorry.” he began to cry and sat on the couch.

“Marcus, we could still get married, but you can’t drink.”

“Why can’t I drink?”

“Do you see how you act?” I asked enraged.

There was a pause. “I’ll try, but you have no idea how my life has been.”

“Maybe if you tell me, I would try to understand. Marcus, what brought us together is our pasts, you just haven‘t told me the whole story.”

“Let’s just watch TV.”

“Ok.” I gave him a skeptical look.”

We watched TV for only ten minutes, but he stared at me the whole time.

“Why are you staring at me?” I asked.

“You’re beautiful.”

“I’m glad you’re telling me that, but can you take your eyes off me?”

He moved in closer, he seemed to have sobered up. He began sucking on my neck and rubbing his hands between my thighs.

“Marcus, stop!”

“Don’t you like it?” He groaned.

I sighed. “No, now stop!”

He kept going, his hands began attempting to part my thighs. I slapped him.

“Leondra!! What the f**k?!!”

“I told you to stop!!” I said getting up from the couch.

He began to follow me, and after walking at a slow pace, he began to chase me.
I threw everything possible at him. If he caught me, I was a gonner. Before getting out the door, he snatched me back in and slammed the door. I was trapped, so I headed upstairs for my room where I could lock the door until the police came.
After ten minutes, still no police, I was locked in my room. Where is the f***ing police I thought. Marcus then broke his way in. I was tucked in the corner, when he picked me up and threw me on the bed. When I attempted to get up, he punched me in the face. I was afraid to move. I watched him remove his clothes and then walked over to remove mine.

“You’re going to enjoy this” he said laughing.

He then straddled me, he only had removed, my pants and underwear. As he tried to enter me, knowing how many bouts I have been in with my brother in the past, I punched him back. I was able to gain some distance so I put my underwear and pants back on. As he came out of my room, he started to chase me on the top floor. He still had the lust and desire to rape me. As I reached the stairs the police were approaching, he knocked me down the stairs, and I laid unconscious as he escaped.

June 4, 1979

I was able to check myself out after being cooped up in this lousy hospital. I was told, I suffered a few broken ribs, a broken foot and a swollen jaw. I wasn’t really able to talk. I was there six weeks lost because some f**ker wanted to get it in. I made a promise to myself not to get involved with anyone and, I did break off the engagement, of course.
I was happy that my mother decided to move out here to watch me, but knowing her, she will get in the way.

July 16, 1979

I was not completely 100%, but I did look for job concerning law. They gave me the job knowing I was trying to get my degree in law. I did learn a lot. I felt this is a job I’m gonna need…whenever they catch Marcus.

August 17, 1979

I was a month into my job as a secretary at the law offices. Michael’s first album with Epic was released a week ago. I thought it was really good. But on the personal side, and based on my experiences, Michael is just like every other man I’ve known, they abuse women and have fun while doing it. Low and behold, I started getting phone calls from him, but I refused to answer them.


************************************************************************

CHAPTER 3
The First Date

September 1, 1979

I haven’t heard from Leondra since my accident last year. I have been trying to reach her, but I haven’t been able to. I decided to make a call to her house, the phone rang, one time, two times, three times. As soon as I was about to hang up someone answered, but it wasn’t Leondra.

“Who is this?” I asked nervously

“This is Margaret, Leondra’s mother” she answered courteously. “Who am I speaking with?” she asked.

“This is Michael Jackson, and I wondered if she was home.”

“No, Michael she’s not, she’s at work right now can I take a message”

“Yes, ma’am can you please tell her I called?”

“Yes, I sure will.”

We both hung up. I broke up with Tate and I don’t know where to turn. I would talk to family members but sometimes you get tired of them. I just got off a tour with them. I missed Leondra, I want to see her so bad.

************************************************************************

I got home around seven at night. My mom stopped me at the door and told me that Michael had called. Uncaring, I shrugged my shoulders and walked off. I’m pretty sure that my mom knows why. The phone had rang again before my mom left for her house, and she answered.

“Hello?” mom asked.

“Yes, Margaret, I called earlier to talk to Leondra, is she home?”

My mom looked at me and I silently told her to tell him that I was sleep and she did so he hang up. I drove my mom home and headed back to mine.

************************************************************************

September 2, 1979

I called again to see if she was home, her mother answered again and I asked her a serious question, “Is there a reason why Leondra is avoiding me?”

“Look here Michael,” she sighed “I’m gonna tell you the truth, it was because of her ex-boyfriend.” she paused

“Why?” I asked concerned. “What did he do?”. She told me what happened back in June and I was furious afterwards.

“So, it’s not you, she has lost trust in men, but don’t worry, she’ll come around.”

“Do you know the address of her job?”

“Yes, its 1106 Storrow Drive”

“Thank you, I think I am going to pay her a visit.”

“Okay Michael, but be careful, I don’t want her to hurt your feelings.” she ended.

“She won’t.” I promised her as we hung up. I then headed for Leondra’s job, but not without stopping at a floral store first.

As I reached her job, I began to get butterflies, but I fought the nervousness and walked in. She was nowhere to be found so I asked around. They told me that she should be coming back from her lunch break anytime now, so I sat and waited. After five minutes, she came, she saw me and she turned towards the other direction. After she had to face me, I wasn’t moving period. As she came towards me, she had this cold stare. I handed her the flowers.

“Thanks” she answered agitated. “Let’s talk outside”. She didn’t ask, that was an order, so I followed “What are you doing here?” she asked coldly.

“I just wanted to see you, I haven’t seen you in a year.”

“Well you’ve seen me, now go away.”

“No, I’m not leaving, I need to talk to you.” I stood my ground.

“Michael there is nothing for us to talk about.” she said as she walked away.

“I know what happened to you and I’m sorry.” I said sympathetically. She then came back towards me.

“Who told you?” she asked.

“I won’t say, but just ‘cause Marcus did that to you, you don’t have to shut me out of your life. You know I care about you and I always will.” I said as I walked away. She didn’t even try to stop me, she just let me walk and she headed back towards her job. I headed for my house. I didn’t want the media in my business, but I’m not giving up on her, not yet.

February 9, 1980

I has been four months since that argument I had with Leondra. I haven’t talked to her since then. I wanted to, but my schedule has been building with the release of Off the Wall, Triumph, and tours. She has been talking to La Toya, that is how I know how she is doing. I was tired of the time away from her. It was time I face my fears and ask her out.
It was ten o’clock at night when I showed up at her doorstep. It took her a while to answer knowing it was me, but eventually she did. I tried to hold my composure as she opened the door wearing this lingerie. It was silk and velvet. Knowing I was distracted, she grabbed her robe. She seemed calmer than she did before. She invited me in to take a seat.

“So…,” she paused “What brings you by?”

I don’t know if it was what I said before, but it may have been it.

“I wanted to come check on you to see if you were okay?”

“I’m living, so I’m doing pretty well.”

There was silence. “Look Michael, why are really here?”

“I-I” I began to stumble on my words. “I was wondering if…you would…” I paused.

“Yeah, you was wondering if what?” she asked, rushing me.

“If you would go out on a date with me on Thursday?” I asked rubbing the back of my neck.

“Michael,” she paused “I don’t know”

“Come on, it would be strictly plutonic, I swear” I begged.

“No, Michael I don‘t think so.”

I began to beg and she gave in.

“I’ll pick you up at seven then?”

“Yes, Michael seven”

I said goodnight as I headed back to my house.

************************************************************************

February 14, 1980

I was doubtful about this date and was afraid due to what happened between me and Marcus. It was five and Michael would be here in two hours. In that time, I put on a blue dress with one shoulder strap and some black heels then I waited for Michael.
At seven o’clock, Michael was alone, nobody drove him, so maybe he did learn something from me. He looked stunning and handsome, he had cut his hair a little and he had on a black suit with a white shirt underneath and a tie.

************************************************************************

Leondra looked so beautiful in her dress, but as I gave her flowers, I attempted to give her a hug; she cringed after we hugged. It bothers me, to see her this way on the most romantic day of the year.

“Um,“ I sighed. “You look beautiful.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” she replied.

“Are you ready to go?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

I took her by the hand and led her to the car. On the way to this restaurant, it was quiet and there was no eye contact. When we arrived, we were quickly escorted to the VIP section. She sat across from me and I was very nervous that I was rubbing my hands on my lap.

“Michael, are you okay?”

“Ye-Yes, I’m fine.”

After we ate, she moved closer to me, which made me more nervous. I was still rubbing my hands on my lap until I felt Leondra’s hand on mine. It gave me butterflies, I felt I was having an anxiety attack; my heart was beating fast.

“Michael, it’s ok, calm down.” she reassured me.

“I’ll try.”

“You’re nervous aren’t you?”

I exhaled deeply. “Yes.”

“Michael, we’re on a friendly date, relax.” she said, letting go of my hand, and wiping my sweaty face with a towel.

I reclined in the chair and ordered a glass of red wine for both of us.

“Can you handle a single glass of wine?” Leondra asked, giggling.

“You think I can’t.”

“You can’t.”

“Watch me, girl.”

When the waiter came over, Leondra watched me closely as I choked down the wine.

“What about you, can you do it?”

“Yeah, watch me, I won’t choke it down like you did.” She said before drinking the wine.

In fact after that dare, I had four more drinks of red wine, and she just had three. I wasn’t drunk, but I was aware of my surroundings.

************************************************************************

It was about ten when one of Michael’s hits, Rock With You Came on. He grabbed me by the hand, and said “Come on let’s dance.”

“Michael No!” I refused.

“Come on.”

“Ok, just this one dance” I stated.

So I followed him to the dance floor. I was afraid and I didn’t know what to do.

“Just wrap your arms around my neck and you’ll be fine” Michael insisted.

I followed his direction, but kept a distance as the song started.


Girl, close your eyes
Let that rhythm get into you
Don’t try to fight it
There ain’t nothin that you can do
Relax your mind
Lay back and groove with mine
You got to feel the heat
And we can ride the boogie
Share that beat of love

I began to feel comfortable with him as I laid my head on his chest. It was then when I felt Michael’s big hands move towards my hips, and pulled me close to him. He was feeling comfortable with me too. Then the second verse came on.

Out on the floor
There ain’t nobody there but us
Girl, when you dance
There’s a magic that must be love
Just take it slow
cause we got so far to go
When you feel that heat
And were gonna ride the boogie
Share that beat of love

I looked into Michael’s eyes. It was like the lyrics, I saw no one but him, it was like we were the only ones there. That was when he then looked down and stared at me.
It was not long before I felt his lips touch mine. His lips tasted so sweet, the kiss sent my whole body in shock, and ecstasy. After breaking the kiss, I realized what I had done.

“Oh my God! What have I done?”

“What’s wrong Leondra?”

“Nothing, I just, I gotta go.” I said running out.

************************************************************************

I don’t understand what just happened. It is something I did? The kiss to me was wonderful, I never felt that way, ever. After leaving the tip, I went after her. After twenty minutes, I was surprised, she made it home already. Her mother answered the door and told me where she was. I was went up to her room to talk to her. Her makeup was smeared all over her face and it was apparent that she was crying.

“What’s wrong, Is it something I did?” I asked concerned.

“I can’t do this Michael.”

“Do what?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand” as I sat by her side, and gently grabbed her hand.

She quickly snatched her hand back. “You’ll never understand, just go home Michael.” she said as she quickly drifted off into sleep.

I got off her bed and proceeded to walk out, but not after I stood there and took a look at her. Now I know I was in love, and I’m not giving that up. When I went downstairs, her mother consoled me.

“Don’t worry Michael, she probably had a little too much to drink,” she assumed. I chuckled nervously. “Just come back in the morning, I’ll be here.” she said as I left.

I went home feeling hurt, the girl who I love turned on me fast. Part of me felt guilty for daring her to drink. I didn’t acknowledge anyone, I just went to bed. I had to get up early, I wanted to get things straight with Leondra.

February 15, 1980

I woke up at five. I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss Leondra and I shared last night, it brought a smile to my face. After I took my shower, I just threw on jeans and a black shirt and headed over to Leondra’s house. I arrived at her house at about 8:30, and her mother let me in just as she promised. I headed up to her room, and leaned against the doorway. I stared at for about seven minutes before she woke up.

************************************************************************

I woke up startled to see Michael standing in my doorway. The vision was blurry on account of having too much wine last night, at least that‘s what I think. When my vision became normal, Michael was leaning against the doorway. He looked so appealing.

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked

“For about seven minutes” he replied.

“Come sit” I said as I motioned him over. “ I wanted to apologize for last night, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I said sitting up.

“No, I’m sorry that I dared you to drink, it may not have turned out that way.”

“Michael, we are both adults, we need to have a little fun.”

“You’re right, girl. Wait, your mom doesn’t know I was drinking too does she?”

“What my mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Besides, if she did, do you think you would be here right now?”

“No, probably not.”

“I want to thank you for trying to console me last night.”

“It’s no problem I wanted to be there for you like you were for me when I fainted.” He said. “but you pushed me away.”

“Oh, so you remember?” I asked.

“Yeah I do remember, you showed me that you cared that is why I’m in love with you.”

“I know”

“You know? Who told you?” he asked surprised then there was a pause. “That stuff that happened to you; you really shouldn’t hold that against me. He winked at me.

“Are you finally coming on to me Michael?”

“It depends…I thought I did that last night.” we both laughed. “Anyways, are you happy?”

“No”

“See?” Michael remarked. “I knew that. You look like a woman who needs to let go and have some fun. You look like a woman who needs to hook up with me.”

I smiled at him, but remained silent.

As he got up to leave I stopped him as I was laying in bed.

“Michael wait, there is something I have to tell you”

“Yeah?” I asked sitting back on the bed.

“I love you too” I said.

He was taken aback. “Huh?“

“I love you too.”

“I waited so long for you to tell me that.” he paused, smiling. “Can I?”

“Can you what?” I asked.

“You know, kiss you?” he said toying with his fingers.

“Come here.”

Nervous like last night, we drew our faces closer very slow. We kissed for a moment. After we broke off the kiss, I began to tear up. Then, Michael had lifted my chin with his hand for me to meet his eyes. He then wiped my tears away, and I stared into his big brown eyes.

“What about Tatum?” I asked concerned.

“She doesn’t matter to me.” he retorted with disgust.

He then bit his bottom lip. “Now you come here”. I didn’t think twice about it, and before I knew it, his lips were powerfully pressed against mine. We had locked lips again, but with more intensity. I closed my eyes tightly.

************************************************************************

I ran my tongue run across her lips, waiting for entrance. She was a little timid at first but then she let my tongue dive deep into her mouth. Her mouth was so pleasing, as the kiss became deeper, I can feel her arms roam all over my back. My temperature began to rise. I had to break the kiss although I didn’t want to. I wanted to wait for that special night. I could say goodbye to loneliness.

“Wow, Michael! I didn’t know you had that in you.”

“Its been there, I just wanted to share it with someone I love” I licked my lips. Afterwards, I buried my face in her neck.

“Can I keep you?” I whispered.

“It depends,” she chuckled.

Before I left, I gave Leondra a penetrating look and in a conspiratorial voice, I said, “You and me, we could get into a lot of trouble. Think about that, girl.”

She laughed heavily. “I think we already have.”

************************************************************************

February 16, 1980

I woke up feeling good this morning. I have a new love in my life, but the feeling of distrust was there. I want to see where this leads. As I went out on my deck, it was covered in snow; I forgot that it was supposed to snow. I was a little tired from yesterday on account of Michael coming over early and school. It was Saturday, so I figured I would sneak in some sleep and watch some TV. As I was standing on my deck, I felt arms wrap around my waist.
Marcus was still on the run, so I feared it would be him, so I jumped out the grasp.

“Get Away!!!” I yelled. As I turned to see who it really was, I felt relieved, but I was mad. “Don’t do that ever again!!!”

“Sorry babe, didn’t mean to scare ya” said Michael as he was laughing hysterically.

“It’s not funny, and how did you get in?”

“Your mom let me in, and I wish you would’ve seen your face.” said Michael who continued to laugh.

“Seriously, my mom needs to stop coming by every morning without telling me.” I said to myself.

“She just cares about you.” said Michael who’s giggling stopped in all seriousness.

“I know, but its like being a child all over again, I want a little space.”

“Well babe,” said Michael as he put his arm around me, “Then you should tell her that.”

“I will Michael,…” I paused, “Sooner or later”

I soon removed Michael’s arm from my shoulder. “You know you shouldn’t have done that.”

“I couldn’t help it, I saw the opportunity and I took it”

“Well besides wanting to see me, why else did you come by?”

“Well, Leondra,” he said kissing my cheek which were red from the cold “I wanted to hang out and tell you about Diana’s upcoming concert.”

“When?”

“It’s in May, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go with me.”

“Sure, why not?”

“Okay, let’s go in, its freezing out here” said Michael.

As Michael turned his back, I quickly formed a snowball and threw it at him. “That will teach you to scare me!” I laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna get you back” said Michael as he smiled.

For the rest of the afternoon Michael and I cuddled on the couch and watched The Three Stooges before he had to go.

February 17, 1980

I spent the day with Michael in his room, listening to music. To my surprise, he didn’t have a bed.

“Michael, where’s your bed.”

He shrugged. “Don’t have one.”

“Why not?”

“I need space to dance babe.”

“And you’re risking sleeping without a bed because?”

“I want to. Let’s sit in front of the fireplace.” He said locking his door. “Just for privacy…” Michael winked. “Come here.” he welcomed me with open arms.

“Okay, Michael,” I went over and sat in front of him, and rested my head on his chest. He began rubbing his big hands on my arms, giving me Goosebumps.

“You’re very sweet Michael.”

“I’m glad you think that.” Michael said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

After hanging out with Michael, I went home.

“Hello baby girl.”

“Hi mom.”

“Can you sit down, I need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Michael.”

“What about him?”

“I don’t want you to jump in this relationship too fast.”

“Ma, we haven’t had sex.”

“I understand that, but I don’t want rumors in the media about you. Ok?”

“Sure.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

CHAPTER 4
Their First Experience

May 17, 1980

It was the night of the concert and Michael was on his way to pick me up. After showering, I threw on some casual clothing of blue jeans and a white shirt. About twenty minutes later, Michael arrived, but he seemed very agitated.

“Michael, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, let’s just go.”

I left him alone and we drove to the concert that was to start at eight. Michael’s mood was lightened as Diana called him to the stage. They exchanged hugs, then he left the stage and the show began. After an hour and a half, Diana started singing her number one hit Upside Down. Two minutes deep into the song, Diana called Michael on stage and they danced. Michael offered a few notes in the song, and the show was over. Michael got offstage to come get me, we were invited backstage.

“Diana, you remember Leondra?” said Michael.

“Yes, she’s the girl you like right?” asked Diana while exchanging hugs.

“Diana…” Michael’s face turned a bright red from embarrassment. “Yes, she is my girlfriend now.” Michael finished.

So for the next hour we talked with Diana and Michael drove me home. Before I could step out of the car, Michael grabbed my arm.

“Sorry, about earlier, I was aggravated.”

“About what Michael?”

“Please don’t get mad” he pleaded.

“Michael, why would I get mad?”

“Well,” he sighed, “I’m going on tour soon”

“Okay, Michael, When?”

“In two months”

“Well that’s great” I said with frustration.

“What’s wrong?” Michael asked.

“This is isn’t gonna work Michael.” I said as I exited the car. Michael then got out of the car.

“What do you mean?”

“You on tour all the time and me at school, we will barely see each other Michael”

“We can make this work, just don’t give up on me”

“I’ll see you around Michael”, I walked off and before I could reach my door, Michael grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

“I love you…”

“I love you too Michael”. He then hugged me so tight that I was getting lightheaded. Part of me felt that he was afraid of losing me. After letting go, Michael then planted a kiss on my lips and headed towards his car and drove off.

************************************************************************

I went home worrying about the upcoming tour. I was in deep trouble. I am on the verge of losing my girlfriend. She didn’t have any hopes about our future together after I told her about the tour. I didn’t want our relationship to end this way, or at all. We had busy schedules and it would hard for us to see each other, she was right about that. Maybe, I can get her to travel with me, maybe two weeks during her vacation. Thinking about that, I decided to give her a call.

“Hello?”

“Baby, It’s me Michael.”

“Oh, hi Michael.” she seemed annoyed so I asked if she was okay.

“I’m fine Michael.”

“Look, babe, I want to get straight to the point. When are you going on vacation?

“Uh, Mid July until Mid August”

“Good, ‘cause I wanna know if you would like to travel with me?”

“Michael…” she paused.

“ I don’t to lose you, I love you.”

“Oh, okay Michael, only then ok?, I don‘t wanna be hounded by media.”

“Ok,”

“I love you Michael”

“I love you more…” he replied before we hung up.


July 13, 1980

My brothers and I were about to embark on a tour to promote Triumph and Off The Wall. I was happy that Leondra was coming, she decided to give our almost failed relationship a chance. We were on our way to Memphis. The real problem, I thought would begin at the hotel. We got there at nine o’clock at night. Leondra and I shared a room, but it only had one bed.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” said Leondra

“Okay” I said. About ten minutes later, I heard Leondra call my name.

“Yes?” I said as I entered the bathroom.

“Can you hand me a rag? I forgot to get it when I came in.”

“Sure” I then gave her the rag and a towel so she didn’t have to ask.

“Thanks”

“You’re welcome”

As I was about to leave the bathroom, I became increasingly excited, I felt the bulge in my pants as I watched Leondra behind the shower curtain. I left before she can see my excitement. After ten minutes, Leondra came out in a towel, that didn’t help me out at all.

“Can you hand me my clothes?” Leondra asked.

“Sure” I said as I handed her the clothes.

“What are you staring at?” she asked as she threw a pillow at me. She headed towards the bathroom to change into her clothes.

For that moment, I hid in a corner with a pillow until she came out. When she came out, I snuck up behind her and hit her in the head with the pillow.

“You’re going down” she said while grabbing a pillow.

For twenty minutes we had a pillow fight. It got a little more serious after I knocked her onto the bed. I dropped the pillow and immediately jumped on top of her and pinned her wrists on either side of her head.

“Michael,” she laughed “let me up” she said as she continued to laugh.

“No, not until you say, Michael Jackson is better than me in pillow fights.”

“No!” she screamed as she laughed.

I don’t know how she did it, but she rolled me over on my back.

“Now, you say I’m better than you in pillow fights”

“No!!”

“Then I’ll just tickle your feet” she said as she went towards my feet.

“No!!” I laughed as she tickled my feet.

She tickled my feet until I got up and threw her on her back. Our laughs faded and our stares intensified. I noticed I was straddling her. I got excited as she began to slowly unbutton my shirt one-by-one. I then bent down to plant many kisses on her lips. After breaking the kiss, I observed her face; she did not protest. Her eyes were filled with lust and desire as much as I know mine were. I then removed my shirt and threw it on the side of the bed.
As I was kissing her, I felt her arms wrap around my neck as she did when we first kissed. Soon my deep kisses on her lips led to a series of kisses on her neck. I felt the bulge in my pants get bigger as she began moaning louder. I paused my trail of wet kisses on her neck to unbutton her shirt. After removing her shirt, I began to move down towards her perfect breasts;
She began to dig her nails in my back as I sucked on her nipples, one by one. She pulled my face back to her full, sweet lips, and we resumed our deep passionate kisses. I was on my way to ecstasy when she planted one last kiss and said, “ Michael, baby, we have to stop.”

I groaned out of frustration. “Okay”, I said as I got off of her.

I sensed where she was coming from, I didn’t want to have sex without being married first, I respect that. Anyway, that was my first, best experience and I didn’t want it to be my last.
“I’ll take the chair.” I said.

“No Michael, it’s okay, you can sleep next to me, but no funny stuff” she said laughing and putting her shirt back on.

I pulled her close to me and we drifted off to sleep, I had rehearsals and sound check tomorrow.

CHAPTER 5
Early Infidelity???

July 14, 1980

I woke up in the morning before Leondra did, so I got up to take a shower. I felt strange and surprised about my encounter with her last night, being that I was very shy with Tatum. Not only that, I had bad experiences when I was younger, being locked in hotel rooms with prostitutes. To have it go as far as it did, it was a major step for me. I wasn’t about to tell Leondra though. I didn’t want her to think different. After showering, I got dressed, sound check was in four hours and I wanted to hang around a bit before leaving.

Leondra then woke up after half an hour. “Good Morning Michael,” she said sitting up.

“Morning baby” I said with a smile. “You wanna go with me for sound check and rehearsal later?”

“Sure”

In four hours, we both headed for the Mid-South Coliseum in Memphis. We never talked about what had happened between us last night, both of us I think were nervous about bringing it up. We’ll face that somewhere down the line. Once we got there, Leondra sat in one of the seats and I headed towards the stage. It was then when Marlon, Jackie and Randy pulled me to the side.

“What’s up?”

“You know what’s up Michael?” Randy said laughing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, tell me” I said.

“Little Michael has finally become a man” Jackie said.

“I don’t know what you mean!!” I said as my face turned a bright red.

“Michael, we heard her scream and not in a mean way” said Marlon.

“Who was screaming?”

“Mike, stop playing, it was Leondra.” Marlon replied.

“Whatever you guys” I said as I walked away.

The guys then started singing a verse from Find Me a Girl from our album Goin‘ Places.

“And when I find her” Sang Marlon
“Watchu gonna do?” Jackie and Randy provided background
“I’m gonna be goood to her
And when I find her
“she’ll be my lovin baby”
“And when I find her”
“I’m goin make good, good lovin’”
“I say yeah” all three finished as they laughed.

“Whatever, let’s just get started” I said.

The rehearsals ran for eight hours before we returned to the hotel. Leondra and I walked back to our hotel room hand in hand when we heard kissing noises from my brothers.

“What’s that about?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about it” I said nervously.

After an hour, I found Leondra doing word searches, so I sat right behind her.

“Whatcha reading?” I asked.

“Oh nothing, I’m just doing word searches.” she replied.

I then helped her find a few words before she noticed how I put my head on her shoulder, and began staring at her. She stared back at me and then we began to kiss intensely. After about a minute, I pulled away from the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” she asked

“It’s the guys, they heard us last night”

“Oh” said Leondra.

We were silent for a moment.

“Michael, I don’t want the press to know about us.”

“There’s nothing I can do, they are going to find out.”

“My mom doesn‘t want the press in my business.” she said.

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know…” she paused.

************************************************************************

I was embarrassed by Michael’s brothers a little, but what can I say, it didn’t go that far and what we were doing was none of their business. Next day was the concert so the fling that Michael and I had drifted away from my mind.

July 15, 1980

That night, I watched a master at work, he was so great but there was something I saw that left me heartbroken. After performing, one of his songs, I saw him kneel down into the crowd and kiss someone. It wasn’t any family members, that I know of, anyway, I had to get the hell outta there fast. As soon as I got to the hotel, I hurriedly packed all my things and got a private jet back to Los Angeles, I didn’t leave a message or anything. As far as I knew, this relationship was over.

************************************************************************

July 16, 1980

I was high on energy after the show, I wanted to see Leondra, but she was nowhere to be found. I then asked any of my brothers where she was.

“Hey Marlon, have you seen Leondra?” I asked with panic.

“No, she probably left after what you did.”

“What did I do?” I asked. It was then he handed me a picture of me kissing a girl in the front row. “I did that?” I said putting my hands on my forehead. Sometimes I have so much fun, that I forget my actions.

“Yeah, Mike you did that.”

“I gotta get back to Los Angeles!!”

“Mike, you can’t make amends that fast, we’re booked and the only time we’ll be back home is on September 26th.”

“Damn!!” I yelled. There was nothing I could do, I had to ride it out for the next two months.

September 27, 1980

It was after the concert were I headed straight for Leondra’s house to tell her how sorry I am. She may have been sleeping, but I don’t care. After twenty minutes, I finally gave up and headed home, I would try again the next morning.

September 28, 1980

I reached Leondra’s house as early as ten in the morning. When I knocked on the door, Leondra’s mom answered, but her reception wasn‘t as warm as it used to be. After an hour and a half of explaining to her mother on how the music compels me to do things I would regret, she let me head upstairs to Leondra’s room. My God, I didn’t think love would be this hard.
As I knocked on the door,

“WHAT!!!?”

“Leondra it’s me Michael”

“Go away Michael, it’s over.”

I went in anyway.

“I thought I told you go away”

“You know I don’t give up that easy.”

I sat on her bedside as I tried to explain what happened, but she wasn’t hearing it.

************************************************************************

“Look Michael, I’m not tryin’ to hear your bulls**t okay?” I yelled.

As I tried to walk out of my room, he cornered me with one arm. As I turned the other way, he blocked with his other arm, so I was pretty much stuck there.

“Get the f**k outta my way”

“NO!, not ‘til you let me explain”

“Michael what is there to explain other than you kissing her!?.

From there, he remained silent.

“Look Michael, its just not working out for us, why can’t you see that?”

He still had me cornered but he put his head down. When I lifted his head up, he was crying, something, I never seen from him before. He then walked over to my bed, sat down and buried his face in his hands.

“Michael, I love you, but you’re making this hard for both of us” I said as I sat right beside him. He lifted up his head. He was a mess. Part of me thought he was confused about how love goes after his experiences in hotels watching Jermaine and his dad.

“Look Michael, I know you’re confused but, that is destroying our relationship, you have to fix it.”

“Can you help me?” Michael asked still crying.

“I don’t know Michael” I said as I got up to leave the room.

When I tried to open the door, Michael closed it shut and cupped my face in his hands, then planted a powerful kiss on my lips. It was pure magic. I felt a surge of electricity move through my body as his big hands roamed all over my back. As he had me backed up against my dresser, I felt him picking me up by my waist as continued to kiss me.
As he continued, I felt his bulge growing against my center. He then began gyrating his hips, causing me to whimper deafeningly. It was like he was possessed. Before reaching ecstasy, I had to stop him.

“Michael,” I moaned.

“Yeah” he grunted.

“You know that I want you but,” I paused as I groaned, “My mom’s downstairs” I said whispering into his ear. He found it hard to stop, but eventually he did. “Go take a cold shower you’re still showing through your pants.”

He sighed. “Okay babe, I love you more…”

“I love you too…Michael” I said as he headed towards the shower.

************************************************************************

I took a cold shower as my baby requested. I was still showing and I had to get rid of it. Leondra’s mom had left for work so, I was pretty mad, I could‘ve kept going . As I thought of what just occurred, I began to gently stroke my shaft, then I picked up the speed. I let out a loud scream as the hot liquid drained from my center. I quickly grabbed onto the side of the shower as my legs gave in to my weight. After, I went back to Leondra’s room where she was still laying and I came over and rested my head on her chest as she stroked my hair. As I laid there, I got the chance to explain everything to her, we were back together…again.
It didn’t seem like she was buying it, but she forgave me anyway.

“Baby, do you ever think of me when you’re on the road?” Leondra asked concerned.

“All the time, what ‘bout you? Do you think about me?”

“Yes.” she replied, smiling.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Michael it’s been done. Don’t worry about it.”

“So you’re not breaking up with me?”

She laughed nervously. “We’re in that trouble you told me about in February.”

“Why were so quick to break up before?”

“Michael, I’m scared for us.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want this relationship to end up like the other one.”

I rose up to her face. “Baby,” she avoided my eyes. “Look at me. I would never hurt you like that.”

************************************************************************

************************************************************************

After Michael left, my mom came up to my room.

“I don’t want him here. As a matter of fact, I don’t want you with him.”

“Ma, I’m a grown woman. I know what I’m doing.”

“Please Leondra, I don’t want you to go through what I’ve been through. Now promise me, you won’t see him again.”

“I can’t promise you that. I love Michael.”

“Are you pregnant?”

I laughed. “Of course not. I told you we aren’t having sex.”

“You’re pretty damn close, I heard you two earlier.”

“Oh boy.”

“Now stay away from him. Besides, there is someone I would like you to go out with.”

“Now who is that?”

“It’s Brian, the young man who always had a crush on you. It will keep you out of the spotlight.”

“No ma, I’m not gonna do it. What’s he doing in California anyway?”

“I called him. Can you try it just once?”

“Will you leave me alone?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll do it. Where is he anyway?”

“On his way here.”

After half an hour, Brian arrived. He was a gentleman and very muscular.

“How are you Brian?”

“I’m fine, how about yourself?”

“I’m a bit surprised. My mom didn’t tell me you were coming.” I sighed. “Look Brian, can you give me an hour, I need to get ready.”

“Sure, take all the time you need.”

It took me an hour and a half to get ready. After that, we were well on our way.

“So Brian, tell me, what brings you here?”

“You…”

“Um. I really don’t know what to say. What have you done with your life?”

“I’m working on becoming a doctor.”

“Ok, that’s good.”

When we got to the beach, we walked up the coast until there was no one around.

“I want to marry you Leondra, marry me?”

“Brian-”

“I always had a crush on you, I wanted you to be my wife since I first laid my eyes on you.”

“Brian, I already have someone.”

“You deserve better. We should be together” he said putting a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Let’s go back to my house Brian.”

After we drove back, I told Brian to stay here because he had nowhere else to go. I found myself in an argument with my mom.

“You know I love Michael. What are we gonna do with him, he has nowhere else to go.”

“Leondra, this condo has five bedrooms, be nice and share one.”

“Whatever.”

I gave Brian the room at least ’til he can get on his own feet, but he now transferred to the college I was going to.

“Here’s your room Brian.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He leaned in for a kiss, but I wasn’t having it. “Don’t even.”

************************************************************************

September 29, 1980

I called Leondra to see if she wanted to go out, but this man answered.

“Who is this?”

“It’s Brian.” He answered groggily.

“I’m looking for Leondra, is she there?”

“Yeah, man she’s in the bed sleep.”

“What?!”

“Is there a problem?”

“Can you give her the damn phone?”

“Whatever.” He hung up.

I went from zero to ten in a nanosecond. I headed straight for Leondra’s house. When I rang the doorbell, Leondra’s mom answered the door, she didn’t seem pleased at my presence.

“Ma’am,” I acknowledged her. “I’m here for Leondra.”

“She’s not here,”

“The man…”

“Oh, Brian, her new boyfriend.”

“What? She couldn’t.”

************************************************************************

October 27, 1980

I was in my room, sitting in front of the fireplace, when I was told I got a phone call.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Michael, it’s me.”

“Oh.”

“I haven’t heard from you in a month, what’s up?”

“Your new boyfriend is what’s up?”

“Michael, my new boyfriend? I never had a new boyfriend. My boyfriend is you.”

“Then who was the b*****d who answered your phone?”

“Michael, that was Brian.” she scoffed. “Meet me at the beach and I’ll explain everything to you.” She said hanging up.

I ended up not going. She didn’t call back either.

November 21, 1980

I went to the Law office that Leondra was working at to see my attorney. Low and behold, she was at her desk. I had to talk to her to get my attorney.

“Hello, Michael, what can I do for you?” she asked unkindly.

“Can you get John Branca for me please.”

“Yep.”

After I got John, he took me to the side.

“What is going on with you and Leondra? You used to send her flowers.”

“We broke up.”

“Why?”

“She had another boyfriend.”

“Did she tell you?”

“No, I found out through her mom.”

It was then when she cut in and grabbed me by the arm and took me outside.

“What the f**k is wrong with you?” I asked, agitated.

“What the f**k is wrong with me? It’s you! I asked you to come to the beach and you stood me up. I wanted to tell you that Brian is not my boyfriend Michael, he is a kid my mom flew over from Boston, because she didn’t want me to date you.”

I stood dumbfounded.

“Yeah, now you feel stupid. You thought the worst, and that is what you got the worst, we’re really finished.” She gave me a cold stare and left.

I ignored it until I finished talking with John.

I got a hold of Leondra after work. I grabbed her arm just like she did to me earlier and pulled her in my car.

“Michael, we’re done. I’ve had it with you.” she attempted to get out of the car. I pulled her back in.

“No, we are not done. We are gonna talk.” I drove off to the beach.

“No we aren’t.”

We reached the beach and even though she may have been ignoring me, I began to talk. “Tell me why your mother told me she said you were dating this man, hmm?”

“I told you Michael she didn’t want me dating you, my mom doesn’t like you.”

“Well,” I leaned my head back on the headrest. “What about you?” I shot her a look.

“Michael, what do you want from me?”

“I want your love, your friendship, your company. Shall I go on?”

She gave a light chuckle and let out a deep sigh. “If you wanted that, you would’ve met me a the beach like I asked you. I you kept your head out of your a**, then we wouldn’t be in this situation would we?”

“My head wasn’t in my a**. I called it like I heard it.”

“You heard it, from them, but why didn’t you ask me Michael, I was supposed to be your girlfriend.”

“I dunno, I just fear the worst. Like losing you. I already have. I’ll just drive you home. I won’t bother you again.”

November 22, 1980

Even though it was a ten minute ride, it seemed like forever. There was silence up until I got her to her house.

“You haven’t lost me Michael…” she said after I parked my car.

Her hands caressed my cheek and she exited the car. I got out of the car, and followed her. Once again, I grabbed her by the arms, and wrapped my arms around her waist.

“Don’t go…”

“I have to Michael.”

“Can I call you?”

“Yes Michael, you can call.”

I gave her a hug and a semi deep kiss, before I left. I got home after two hours and called Leondra.

“Hello? Michael?”

“Yes.”

“Are you safe?”

“Yeah,” I rubbed my neck. “What about you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Why doesn’t your mom like me?”

“She saw what you did in Memphis and she doesn’t like the possible publicity.” She sighed. “What did she tell you about Brian?”

“I dunno, I don’t want-”

“Michael, it’s okay. You can tell me.”

“When I went up to your house, your mother said you were with your new boyfriend.”

“Ok and you believed her?”

“Yes.”

“Well I’m sorry that you did.”

“I’m sorry too. Who is he again?”

“He’s a kid that had a crush on me throughout high school, but I was with Marcus. My mom invited him over so he could go out on a date.”

“And you did?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God.”

“Wait, before you jump to any conclusions, I told Brian that I already had-”

“Have.” I interrupted.

“Have somebody else and the reason why I went out was so my mom could leave me alone.”

“Okay.”

“As a matter of fact, I need to tell her off. Your mom doesn’t think the way my mom does about us does she?”

“No, no of course not.” I paused. “Can I see you in the morning?”

“Sweetie, It’s three in the morning and I’m half asleep.”

“I can’t go over there with your mom answering the door.”

She remained silent and then let out a sigh. “Okay, Michael, I’ll meet you outside.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

In two hours, I met Leondra outside and opened the passenger door for her to get in. From there, I drove to the beach, and found a spot so we can watch the sun come up. I sat in front of her and rested my head on her chest. In a hour and a half, the sun rose. I looked up at her and she seemed so at peace. She seemed to have noticed that I was staring at her so she looked down at me.
I rose up to her face and gave her a kiss and then we stared at the sunrise. After seven, I drove her back to her house.

“What are you gonna do about Brian?”

“Baby, I have no choice, he has nowhere to go.”

“What if I give him a house, and your mom too.”

“Michael, you can’t do that.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Are you sure you wanna do that?”

“Yes, we need time alone, and not just at my house girl.”

************************************************************************

“Come on Michael.”

“Baby, not while-”

“Come on.”

Michael followed in to my room and I told him to wait there while I settled some things.

“Mom, you know it wasn’t right for you to lie like that. Michael has decided to buy you and Brian your own houses.”

“Did he get you to say that?”

“No, he asked me if it was okay.”

The argument woke Brian up. “What’s going on?”

“You two are moving into your own houses.”

“After all we been through? You’re kicking me out?’

“Brian, we haven’t been through anything.”

“Yes we have, we had sex.”

“No we didn’t.”

“Yes we did, we f**ked for two hours with our clothes on.”

Michael entered the room and I took him by the hand.

“You f**ked him Leondra?”

“No, that never happened.” I let go if his hand.

The next thing I see is Brian going down.

“You raped my girl?” He said delivering more punches.

“Michael, it never happened, he’s just trying to get in your head.”

Before things could get worse, I called the police and they took Brian away. I never saw him again.

“Things couldn’t get any worse could they?” he asked.

“It’s just the beginning Michael.”

Days later my mother moved out and I was alone.

CHAPTER 6
Time Apart pt.1 of 2
November 28, 1980

I was finally home alone when I got a call from Michael.

“Can I come over?”

“Michael-”

“I just wanna be close to you. Please?”

“Okay Michael.”

“Can I spend the night?”

“Just tonight, but you will have to stay in another room. I know how you are.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “I’ll be over in three hours.”

Michael arrived about two hours later. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a kiss. Eventually, I broke it off.

“Michael?!!”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too. What do you wanna do?” I asked leading him to the couch.

“I just wanna be with you.”

“Baby, it’s late, and I have school tomorrow. So I need to be in bed. Let me get you settled in the guest room. You brought Pjs right?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, put your pjs on then.”

He took off his shirt as I left the room. Five minutes later, he approached me with a Peter Pan outfit that made me giggle.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your pajamas. They’re cute.” I said laughing and pointing at the pjs.

“I’m glad you like them.” he chuckled.

I took him by the hand and gave him a kiss goodnight. As began to drift off into sleep, Michael, I assume, came in and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Michael,” I said semiconsciously. “I thought I told you to stay in the guest bed.”

“Sorry.” he replied sarcastically. “I don’t like to sleep alone.”

“You have Peter Pan.” I chuckled lightly.

I felt his hands move up from my waist to my arms and he began to playfully jerk me. I turned the light on and attacked him with the pillow.

“I guess it’s round two huh?” he asked.

“Michael, I need to sleep.” I said straddling him. “Can I go to sleep now?” I asked pinning his arms down.

“I like it when we’re alone, you’re so rough.” he laughed.

“Oh please.” I scoffed, getting off of him.

When I laid back down, he pulled me close to him, and wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head in the back of my shoulder.

December 13, 1980

Michael came over and I told him the news that my mother wanted to invite us over for dinner. Michael had said the same about his mother, so we made an appointment for next Saturday.

December 20, 1980

Michael and I dressed up for the occasion. He was wearing a black suit and a bow tie and I wore a black dress with pearls that Michael bought me two weeks ago.

Michael and I walked hand in hand and was greeted at the door by both of our mothers. Michael held my hand tighter when we all were seated.

“So, mom,” I said breaking the ice. “Why did you invite us over?”

“Just to check in on you two.” Katherine answered.

“Ok ma’am.” I answered. “We’re adults here, we’re fine.” I finished letting go of Michael’s hand.

“So, ma’am, how have you been?” Michael asked my mother.

“I’ve been fine.”

After dinner, I started rubbing my hand on Michael’s thighs, making him laugh and calming him down.

“Look, let’s just cut to the chase. We know you two aren’t married, so-” Katherine said nervously.

“Are you two sleeping together?” my mom interrupted.

We looked at each other simultaneously.

“Michael, let’s go, we don’t have to hear this.” I said grabbing his hand.

He pulled me back down. “It’s okay, we’re not doing anything wrong.” He whispered.

“We are sleeping together, but nothing sexual.” He addressed both of our mothers.

“Well then if that’s the case, Leondra, I can no longer let you continue seeing Michael.” My mother said.

“Okay mom, what’s this really about?”

“This man is a celebrity, what if this is temporary?”

“Mom-”

“No, baby it’s okay, I’ll handle it. Ma’am, the love I have for Leondra is real, I would never do anything to hurt her again she knows that.”

“Michael, you don’t have to keep explaining yourself, let’s go.” I grabbed his hand. “I’m gonna keep seeing him no matter what you say.” I left with Michael following me.

I was very distraught and angry so Michael drove me home.

“You want me to stay?” Michael asked agitated.

“No, Michael, I’m okay.” I said, turning my back to him.

“Baby,” he sighed, turning me to face him. “It’s okay, it’s me.”

“Michael, I don’t know how many times I can fight with my mom about us. Maybe we need a break.”

“Well, I want what you want.” he replied. “I guess I’ll go.”

He delivered one last kiss before he went home.


January 17, 1981

It has been almost two months since Michael and I had contact; I missed him, so I went to a fancy restaurant with a few students from college.

“What’s the matter Leondra? You haven’t touched your food.” asked Chris.

“I’m just not hungry.” I responded.

“C’mon you gotta eat.” said Alice.

After an hour, Alice left and joined other students she saw at the table, leaving me and Chris alone.

“Are you okay? You barely said a word all night.”

“I’m fine, I‘m just a little tired.”

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“Sure.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

“No, I’ll take her.”

I turned around to see Michael standing behind me, wearing a disguise.

“Leondra, do you know him?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. Go catch up with Alice and I’ll see you guys Monday.”
After we exited the restaurant, Michael took off his disguise.

“Michael, how did you find me?”

“I was having dinner at the restaurant when I spotted you. Besides I couldn‘t forget your beautiful face.” He said putting his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go.”

He opened the door for me, making sure I got in before he did. After he pulled up at my house, we sat there in silence for a while.

He bit his bottom lip and grabbed my hand. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Michael gently lifted my hand, kissed it and I did the same. After, he caressed my cheek with his hand, and I covered his hand with mine. He leaned in and gave me a kiss before giving me a deeper one. Our break was officially over. I invited him in for a while.

“What did you do while I was gone?” Michael asked curiously.

“Went to school, thought about you.”

“I did the same, except go to school, but I did dance. Hey, you seemed sad at the restaurant, is everything okay?”

“I missed you and I was getting many calls from other guys at the college asking me out.” He embraced me. “What are our mothers gonna think?”

“We can’t stay away from each other, they’re gonna have to live with it.”

“You’re sweet Michael. How’s the rest of the family?”

“I don’t wanna talk about that right now, I just wanna be with you.”

“I’m okay with that.” I replied smiling.

************************************************************************



March 16, 1981

It was a rough year with Leondra, but we got through it. She taught me how to love, and we have had many phone conversations that broke night. Now I think we understand each other. As I was rummaging through fan mail, I found another strange letter from a woman whose name was Billie Jean. She was sending me photos of herself, telling me that I fathered her baby. For weeks now, she was telling me that she could not stop thinking about me a that she needed to be with me.
In that letter, she wrote, “Can you kill yourself on May 9th?”she asked. “I would do the same, right after I kill the baby. If the three of us can’t be together in this life, maybe we could be together in the next”.
I was horrified and kept this issue away from Leondra, it would send her over the edge. To rid of that fear, I had called Leondra up to ask her if we can go walking through the park tonight. It was a little after twelve o’clock midnight when we first arrived at the park. We walked together, with our fingers laced through one another, and found a spot on the ground to sit. We never done anything like this in our time together as a couple, except at the beach, but I enjoyed it. After two hours in the park, we decided to head out, we were both tired and wanted to go to sleep. Before I could walk off, Leondra grabbed my hand and we kissed in the moonlight.

************************************************************************

May 10, 1981

I had everything I could possibly want. I was working at an attorney’s office and I had one more year to graduate until I can go to law school. I received a strange call later this afternoon and I was on edge. It was going on for weeks.

“Hello?” I asked. There was somebody on the other side of the phone but there was hyperventilating on the other side until I hung up. The phone then rang again and the heavy breathing continued until I hung up. I decided to call Michael and ask him to come over. Either it was one of his jokes or it was someone out there to get me.

“Michael?!” I said sobbing

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Michael asked with worry.

“Please just come over” I said before I hung up.

In a matter of minutes, Michael arrived to comfort me.

“Michael, was it you on the phone earlier?”

“What do you mean?” Michael asked with a baffled look on his face

“Someone called here earlier.”

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know Michael, she or he was hyperventilating on the other side of the phone.”

“It wasn’t me sweetie, do you want me to stay with you?” he asked

“Please, stay with me…I don’t know who’s playing these jokes”

“Okay Leondra, don’t worry, I’ll be right by your side.”

As I sat there sobbing, Michael held onto me tightly as if it was my last day on this earth.

“ How would you like my security guard Bill, to be your security guard also.?” Michael asked.

“Yeah…maybe until this whole thing goes away”

“Okay, I’ll call him up now”

************************************************************************

May 23, 1981

I stayed at Leondra’s house with my bodyguard for almost two weeks. I was just hoping, Billie Jean, the woman who had been writing those horrifying letters didn’t find out we were together. If so, Leondra was a possible target and if not, somebody was out there. It was then I decided to purchase a condo, a hide out for me and her so nobody would know where we are, except family.

June 17, 1981

As the weeks went by, the calls continued, which started to scare me myself. Thinking it was Billie Jean, I decided to tell Leondra about the letters. She didn’t have an outburst, which left me relieved and she knew me better than that to have a baby out of wedlock, it was against my religion.

April, 9, 1982

With all that has gone on in the past year, I still found time to write songs for my next studio album. Off the Wall was a great album, but a disappointment, I won one award for it. My next album has to be better.


August 18, 1982

I was full of sorrow watching Mother go through this thing with Joseph. He wouldn’t leave and I refused to remain neutral in this.

“You have to kick him out, or call the police. Or get a restraining order. But he can‘t stay here just because he wants to.” I told mother.

I then left the room because Mother refused to discuss the matter with me, or any of my siblings.

“This is killing me” I said with distraught. “I’ll never get married. I will never trust a person in that way. I couldn’t bear to go through this again” I said, not thinking about Leondra.

“But Michael, this is their life, not yours,” said Rebbie in a compassionate voice. “You will live your life differently. Trust me. You got someone who loves you unconditionally already”

“But how do you know that? We’ve been in too many arguments. Mother never planned any of this for herself, did she?” I asked , with my eyes red from crying.

“No, I’m sure she didn’t Michael,” Rebbie said embracing me. “Michael, relationships are not perfect, but you have to stay strong for yourself and her. She will return that love to you, as I’m sure she has. She loves you, just don’t give up on her just because of Mother’s and Joseph’s relationship. Your relationship is different from theirs, you’re not Joseph” she said, releasing the embrace.

“You know what Rebbie?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes. “You’re right” I said as I planted a kiss on her cheek and left. “I’m going to Leondra’s house now, I gotta get the hell outta here.”

************************************************************************

The phone calls had died down for a while since Michael has been staying over, I felt so safe. I needed a little space because the sexual tension was growing between us. There was a knock on the door, it was Michael, who clearly has been crying. Poor thing, he looked like a wreck. His hair was a mess and he wasn’t clean shaven, as I would usually see him; something wasn’t right with him.

“Michael, what’s wrong?” I asked closing the door behind him.

“I hate him!!” Michael yelled

“Who Michael?”

“Joseph!”

“Michael, hate is a strong word”

“I don’t care, I hate him!!”

Oh boy, I thought “What did he do this time?” I asked “And would you sit down please? You’re making me nervous.”

“Sorry,” said Michael; pacing with anger. “He’s having another affair” said Michael, his eyes welling up. “Why does he keep doing this to Mother?”

“I don’t know Michael,” I said. “Come here Michael”. He came and sat next to me where I held him in my arms while he cried. “ Everything is gonna be ok, alright? You gotta be strong for your mother Michael.” I said sympathetically. “If you keep letting Joseph get to you, it will make him look like he’s got the upper hand on you.”

Michael then broke the embrace we had and he cupped my cheeks with his hands and stared at me intensely.

“I love you darlin’, you have to know that. I love you so much.”

“I love you too Michael.”

“I don’t know where I would be without you” said Michael looking into both of my eyes.

Michael’s intense stare quickly turned into a stare of passion and lust.

“Michael I-” I said as Michael pressed his fingers on my lips.

“Shhh, No more talking” he said as he began to kiss on my collarbone.

“Michael,” I moaned. Clearly, doing something like this was a way for him to release anger. He began kissing his way up to my neck.

“Shhh” he said as he groaned.

With all clothes on and my mother finally out of the house, Michael laid me down and straddled me.

“Michael, wait, stop”

“Why?” as he began to move his hips in a circular motion.

I began to whimper with pleasure as I began moving my hips to create our own rhythm. Michael then grinding his hips harder causing me to scream out his name. Then the phone rang.

“Get it later…” Michael groaned.

“Michael, what if it is important?”

“Let them leave a message” he said as he began to plant a series of kisses on my lips.

“Baby, we need to talk” I sighed, breaking the kiss and sitting up.

“About what?” Michael said getting off of me.

“This sex thing,” I said. “Michael, as much as I like to take it further, I want to be married first.”

“Baby,” he said landing one more kiss on my lips. “I understand, its just there’s something about you, that makes me harder to resist.”

“Okay, we never really discussed that, I just to make sure that we’re on good graces with that.”

“Yes, we are” said Michael, reluctantly. “ I hate not having to finish what I started” he pouted.

“You know what you have to do, Michael?”

“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes take a cold shower. Why do you keep doing this to me?”

“You can wait, Michael”

“No, I can’t, I don’t know how long I can take it, I gotta have you now.”

“Oh, please Michael,” I laughed. “You can wait, now go take a shower.”

“Okay darlin” he said, winking at me.

CHAPTER 7
Time Apart Conclusion

August 19, 1982

Today, I headed towards Westlake studios in Los Angeles to work on the album. The sessions went well but when we played back the album, it didn’t sound as good as I thought. After remixing the songs they sounded terrific.

“This album sounds good, but you can’t expect to do with this one what you did with Off The Wall” said Quincy as we were listening to the album. “It’s a tough market. Nobody’s having hits,” Quincy believed.

“Turn it down,” I shouted out at the engineer. “I said, turn it down.” My smile had faded. “What’s the matter with you guys?” I wanted to know. “How can you say that to me? You’re wrong. You are dead wrong”

“But Michael-” Quincy began.

“Look, don’t even talk to me,” I said, turning away from Quincy. “I’ve had it with you, Quincy Don’t ever tell me anything like that again,” I added irately. “What kind of attitude is that to have?” I asked in a fit of rage. “Goodbye,” I said as I stormed out of the studio.

Later on that day, I told my attorney John Branca to call Walter, and have him cancel the album. Later on, Walter had given me a call to raise my spirits about what Quincy had said and I changed my mind about not releasing the album. My spirits were still a little down, I missed my girl and I wanted to see her but I couldn’t, not the anger I had. I think she perceived that intimate moments were a way to release anger. After the talk, I decided to liberate my anger another way, by dancing.

I got a call from Leondra, she asked me to come over because there was something else she wanted to talk about.

“How was your day?” she asked.

“Pretty stressful, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Ok, that’s fine. There was something I wanted to give you.” She paused. “Michael, I feel like we’re at the level in our relationship where we can trust each other.”

“Um-hmm.” I agreed.

“So I wanted to give you a key to the house.” she said handing me the key.

“Wow. I wish I can do the same for you. It’s easy to keep this secret from our parents. We’ve been doing okay with it.” I said giving her a kiss.

“What if they do?”

“Don’t worry about it, they won’t.”

“How’s Janet and the family?”

“They’re ok.”

“And your dad?”

“Please, let’s not talk about him?”

“Michael,” she sighed. “Is there anything good that your father did for you?”

I sighed .“When I was a kid I had a real sweet tooth - we all did. My favorite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. So every few weeks I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts - no note, no explanation - just the doughnuts. It was like Santa Claus. Sometimes I would think about staying up late at night, so I could see him leave them there, but just like with Santa Claus, I didn't want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. My father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. He was scared of human emotion, he didn't understand it or know how to deal with it. But he
did know doughnuts.”

“Aw, Michael that’s cute.” she chuckled. “Your father does love you, but he doesn’t know how to show it.”

“What about your dad?”

“You know Michael, my father was like yours, didn’t have emotion. But I don’t remember any good things that he’s done for me. Your father was there and got you into show business. My dad was there and didn’t do s**t for me.”

I grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. I’m happy where I’m at because of you.” she smiled lightly.

************************************************************************

August 20, 1982

When I left my house, I found the paparazzi standing across the street. I immediately ran to my car, but they beat me to it and began asking questions.

“Leondra, how does it feel to be the girlfriend of a megastar?” One reporter asked.

“Excuse me, do you know that Mr. Jackson has a deal with one of his confidants of how long he could keep a girlfriend?” Another reporter asked.

“What? That’s impossible. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go.” I answered getting in my car.

“Are you familiar with Paul McCartney?” The same reporter asked outside my car window.

I drove off. For right now, I could care less, I had to go to class. When I got to college I was hounded down by Alice and Chris.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were dating Michael Jackson. How long?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I responded.

“Come on.”

“Alice, leave her alone.” Chris said.

All day Alice was asking me questions, while Chris tried to get her away from me.

“I’m sorry Leondra, you know how Alice is. Are you okay?” Chris asked concerned.

“I’m okay.” I replied getting in my car.

“Let me know if you need anything okay?” Chris asked

“Sure, thanks.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.” I said driving off.

When I reached my house, the paparazzi was still there. I rushed through them when I got out. As soon as I got in, the phone rang off the hook.

“Hello?”

“It’s me babe, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’ll be over in a little while.”

“Don’t risk it.”

“Trust me, I can get there safely.”

Michael made it over within an hour and surprisingly made it past the media.

“Who told them about us Michael?” I asked confused.

“I don’t know.”

“What’s this I hear about a deal between you and Paul McCartney?”

“There is no deal.” He replied rubbing his neck.

“Are you lying to me?”

“What makes you think that?”

“You’re rubbing your neck. You’re nervous.”

He sighed. “Okay there was a deal, but I was joking.”

I turned my back to him. “Were you really Michael? Give me a break. I think you should go.”

“I’m tired of going through this with you, I will leave. Goodbye.”


October 9, 1982

I was out with Alice watching movies and venting about the past two years with Michael.

“So how long did you two date?”

“Two, almost three.”

The phone rang, It was Marcus’s sister Cheryl saying she was on her way over. After ten minutes she came over, and joined in the conversation.

“I’m sorry about how it ended.” Cheryl said.

“I am too. I really loved him.” I replied.

“Now you can go out with Chris.” Alice added/

“Chris who?” I asked.

“Please Leondra, we both know Chris likes you.” Alice answered.

“Chris and I are good friends.”

“Sure, that’s how it starts.”

“Anyway,” Cheryl interrupted. “Is it true about what they say about a dancer in bed?”

“Yeah.” Alice agreed, wanting to find out as well.

“Look, we never had sex.”

“What?” they both responded.

“We had an understanding.” I replied. “We wanted to wait.” I paused. “I’m tired of talking about him. He used me for a lousy bet. Let’s go out to a bar or something.”

“Okay, let’s go.” Alice said getting up.

************************************************************************

I was bored at home, so I decided to go to a bar. I had no one to hang out with, I just wanted to be alone, I didn’t care who spotted me at all.

************************************************************************

Alice, Cheryl and I were at a bar having fun until they got silent.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Look, it’s Michael.” Alice replied.

“I don’t care. Look away, I don’t want him coming over here.”

“How could you break up with him? He’s cute!”

“Give me a break. Look let’s-”

“Oh my god, he’s looking over here!!” Alice whispered.

“Let’s go.” I insisted.

“But,” Cheryl sighed.

“No let’s go.” I commanded.

They got up and walked out in front of me to keep me hidden. When I got out the door, a hand that I assumed was Michael’s grabbed my arm.
“What do you want?” I asked.

“Here, take your key.” Michael said, and walked off

“Hey Leondra is everything okay?” Alice asked.

“Yeah.” I said catching up with them.

“What was that about?” Cheryl asked.

“He gave me back my key.”

************************************************************************

I felt some relief, but more sadness when I gave Leondra back the key she gave me. I needed to let go and my mother as well as hers found out we were secretly seeing each other.
After two hours, I went home and went to sleep.

October 10, 1982

I had a sleepless night, thinking about my new album, and Leondra. I got a knock on the door, it was Mother.

“I heard about your break up, can we talk?” Mother asked.

“Sure.”

“I realized you’ve been moping around since then, and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Interfering in your relationship. I know you loved her. I never seen you so happy.”

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s over, and it’s my fault.”

“You can make things work, if you try.”

“I’m can’t. I’ve done so many things wrong to her. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.”

“Not exactly. Janet’s been talking to her. I think you should ask her.”

After the talk with Mother I went to talk to Dunk.

“Not only have I been talking to her, but I’ve been hanging out with her.”

“My, God, she hates me doesn’t she?”

“Not really, Mike.”

“What has she been saying?”

“Well Mike, she misses you as much as you miss her.”

“Really? She didn’t seem that way when I gave her back her key.”

“She told me it was then, when she began to realize it was over.”

“Dunk, I don’t want it to be…”

“Over?”

“No.”

“Okay, Mike. I’ll call her and see what I can do.”

I left the room a little upbeat, but nervous. After almost two hours, Janet told me she has agreed to meet me at the park. I dressed up in black suit with a gold tie and was driven to the park by Bill. After waiting ten minutes, she showed up in a blue choker dress. When we were alone, we stood there staring at each other in silence. I extended my hand, and she put her hand in mine as we walked around the park. We stopped under a tree and my back was to the tree as we began to finally talk.

“Michael, do you really care about me? ‘Cause if your heart isn’t in it…”

I leaned my head against the tree. “Yes, I do care about you, a lot. When we got together, I forgot about that bet. I do love you. I’m sorry.” I finished. “My heart knows, that you're my number one. Do you feel the same way too?”

“Yes, I know, that I still love you. You're always on my mind. It's so hard to let go, what I feel for you.”

We slowly engaged in a hug and held it for about two minutes. She broke the embrace, but I kept my arms wrapped around her waist.

“I love you.” I said looking down at her.

She looked up at me and we stared at each other before kissing.

********************************************************************************

********************************************************************************

October 17, 1982

It was the day I graduate from college and head on to Law School. Michael had already released a single off his next album, Thriller and it was named The Girl is Mine. It wasn’t doing so well the first week, but I had faith. After graduation, Michael and I went back to his house for a party. I stayed far away from Joseph, knowing what he had done two months ago. Katherine was a nice woman and I couldn’t see how someone would treat her with so much disrespect. During that time, I hung out with La Toya, Janet, and Rebbie. Michael didn’t want to be bothered, so he tagged along with me and the girls. He never let go of my hand.
It was like he was afraid something was going to happen, especially with Joseph in the house. We did our best to stay away from him.


January 21, 1983

Michael drove me back to my house after our date in which he expressed a great deal of concern. He was concerned about my well being. Thriller was selling and was well on its way to becoming one of the best selling albums in history.

“You know, now that you’re going to law school and Thriller is selling like crazy, I’m worried that we’ll be seeing less of each other.” said Michael.

“We’ll be fine Michael”

“I know I’ll be, but what about those phone calls and the media?”

“Michael,” I said grabbing his hand. “I’ll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“I’ll be calling.”

“I know you will, Michael” I said as I let go of his hand. “I love you Michael”

“I love you more…” he said, kissing my forehead.

Before I could drift off into a deep sleep, the phone rang

“Hello?” I asked sleepily.

“Are you awake?” Michael asked.

“Yes, I’m awake.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am Michael. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I was calling to see if you are okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are the doors and windows locked?”

“Yes, Michael they are.”

“I love you…a lot.”

“I love you too Michael.” I replied before we hung up.


March 25, 1983

I was invited by Michael to see him and his brothers perform as a tribute to his former boss, Berry Gordy. After his performance, I ran to see him. After hugging with his brothers, he began to walk off. Knowing Michael, he was disappointed. Before I can reach him and a kid told him that he was a great dancer, a smile had formed on his face.

“Michael!!” I screamed hugging him.

“Hey sweetie!!” said Michael returning the hug.

“I loved your performance”

“Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it”

“Michael, why do you seem upset?”

“I’ll be honest, other than missing you, I wanted to stay on my toes a little longer.”

“Oh, Michael,” I said chuckling. Then I noticed a glove he was wearing. “Baby, why are you wearing just one glove?”

“Cause I think its cool”

“Enough said,” I replied

“How have you been? Nobody is bothering you are they?” Michael said with a serious look.

“No Michael, I’ve been fine, what about you?”

“I’m okay,” he paused “Want me to take you home?”

“Sure, I would like that, I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Ok, let’s go” he said taking my hand in his.

On the way to my house we talked for a while. After I got in, it seemed like Michael didn’t want to go, so I invited him in.

“Something is on your mind Michael, what’s wrong?” I asked

“Nothing, Its just-” he paused as he got up to sit next to me. “I miss you a lot and I worry about you.”

“Michael, sweetie I miss you a lot too, but you don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine” I said touching his hand. “But there is something else that is bothering you.”

“Okay, you’re right. You remember that condo I bought?”

“Yeah…”

“I want us to move in there together.”

“Michael, I don’t know.”

“Look honey, you are my life, I can’t go another day without seeing your face” He said grabbing my hands. “I want to get away from Joseph”.

“I’ll think about it…” I said

“Okay, then will you tell me tomorrow?”

“Sweetie that’s not enough time.”

“Yes it is, I call you tomorrow.”


March 26, 1983

It was the day after Michael’s performance and he was all over the news. It was good in the three years together. But back to the thought of him and I living together, I was having serious doubts. I didn’t want the press hounding me any worse and all the sexual tension we both have, it would break. I love Michael with all my heart, but it is not the right time to move in with him. When I called him about my decision, he didn’t accept it, he kept begging me. I couldn’t stand the constant begging so I gave in. We were to move in together in two months.

August 13, 1983

Even though we moved in together, we still found it hard to see each other. Michael was on the road almost all the time, and I was at Law school. I later found out that Michael was to go on tour again, next year with his brothers reluctantly. He had told me sometimes that he had arguments with Joseph about not wanting to do the tour. Eventually, he agreed.

August 20, 1983

I got one of those strange calls again, but this time he spoke.

“I gonna get you one way or the other!!!”

“Who is this?” I yelled into the phone. The person had hung up.

I haven’t had those phone calls in months, apparently, this person now knows where I am. As I was sleep, I heard someone come in. It was a dark shadow and he had slipped into our bed. He then spooned me at the waist and I knew it was Michael, by the way his body felt when he pulled up against me. I felt safe knowing he was there.


August 21, 1983

I woke up with Michael staring at me in my face.

“How long have you been staring at me.”

“I don’t know, ever since I met you I guess.”

“Real funny Michael”

“You are just so gorgeous” he said, his hands caressing my face.

As I laid there, I couldn’t help but to stare into his big brown eyes. They were tired and sad.

“Michael, why do you always look so sad?”

“I don’t know.”

For about an hour, Michael and I laid in bed talking. Then we watched cartoons all day until this scary movie came on. It was called an American Ware wolf in London. Clearly, he was interested in the movie, but I wasn’t, it was gross. I got up and took a shower After the movie, he got an idea on his next short film where he would play a wolf.

“Who’s the director?” he asked with excitement.

“I don’t know Michael”

“I have to find out.”

“Anyway, baby can you wake me up early, for school? since you are an early bird.”

“Sure”

After ten minutes we both drifted off to sleep.

August 22, 1983

I woke up feeling something wet up against my stomach, it was Michael’s lips.

“Michael!!”

“Morning!!” He laughed, looking up at me.

I wasn’t mad, he kept his boundaries. I got up, took a shower and went off to school.

October 21, 1983

Michael had finally met with John Landis, and began shooting the video for Thriller.

“Baby,” Michael paused. “We’re looking for an actress to play the part. You wanna do it?”

“No, Michael I don’t. I’m not a good actress.”

“Please?”

“No, Michael. No matter how much you beg and plead this time, it’s still no.”

“Okay, I won’t bother you this time.” he chuckled.

Michael had frequently told me that he was a fan of Emmanuel Lewis so I pulled some strings to get him to come to the set.

“Michael, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“With this makeup, don’t ya think I look scary?”

I chuckled. “You’re Michael Jackson. Now I want you to meet Emmanuel Lewis.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Jackson.” said Emmanuel Lewis.

“Call me Michael.”

“Okay Michael.”

“Don’t you think I’m scary?”

“Oh please.” Emmanuel Lewis laughed. “You’re Michael Jackson. Who are you gonna scare?”

October 31, 1983

I woke up, dazed from last night. I worked and I had school. When I turned over, I saw this wolf-faced man that caused me to scream.

“Happy Halloween!!!” screamed Michael. Laughing.

“Michael, you almost gave me a heart attack. You just don’t know when to quit do you?”

“No, I don’t.” he chuckled.

December 14, 1983

This morning, I had walked in on Michael shirtless. He had white spots in the center of his chest. He quickly covered himself with a towel.

“Michael, what was that?” I asked with disbelief.

“Oh its nothing”

“No Michael, its something, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Nope, everything is okay”

After he said that, I left it alone…at least for a while.

January 16, 1984

Michael and I figured that we could avoid the media no longer, so I accompanied him to the American Music Awards with Emmanuel Lewis. Emmanuel and I watched as he won seven AMA’s.

After the show, Michael and I headed home.

“I’m proud of you Michael.” I said

“Thanks, I’m exhausted.” He replied getting in bed.

“You are blessed, you know that?” I said joining him

“Yeah, I can admit that.”

January 27, 1984

Michael and I had gotten into an argument about his health issues. He had kept me in the dark for some time about it. He was filming a commercial for Pepsi, so he stormed out of the house without saying goodbye. After about nine o’clock I got this call from Janet. She was crying hysterically, so I could barely make out the words that she was saying. So I rushed to the hospital and she told me what happened. All my emotions were gone, I didn’t know what to think.
When I went in to his hospital room, he was surrounded by family members. They went mysteriously silent when I walked in.

“Can everybody leave?, Leondra and I need to talk.”

After everybody left, Michael motioned for me to come sit at his bedside. I felt so bad, he wasn’t in his right state of mind and his head was wrapped in a bandage.

“Are you okay Michael?”

“Other than my head, I’m okay.”

“What happened?”

“My hair caught on fire while I was shooting the commercial.”

“How?”

“I dunno, maybe I was too close to the pyrotechnics.”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“Sue I guess.”

“Anyway, how are you doing in general?”

“I’m okay.” averting my eyes.

“Michael, you’re not. Look in my eyes and tell me you’re okay.”
He stayed silent. “I’m outta here.”

As I turned to walk away, he gripped my arm with the strength he had left.

“Wait, I’m not okay.”

He then told me about his medical issues. He said the only reason he didn’t want to tell me is because he didn’t know how I was going to react when I found out he was turning a different color. I took it well except the fact that he kept it from me. I wanted to fight through this problem together, not let him face it alone.

June 12, 1984

It was a month before Michael’s Victory tour. I had agreed to go with him. I was home alone and the phone calls were still happening. Michael still wasn’t home and I thought I heard someone come in. It was probably Michael. After ten minutes, there was a wet rag with a nasty odor to it. Suddenly everything went black.

************************************************************************

CHAPTER 8
The Kidnapping

When I got home, I found Leondra gone. There was a lot of suspicion, she didn’t leave a letter as she usually does. I called her mother. I became more worried when she said she hasn’t heard from her.

************************************************************************

June 13, 1984

I woke up riding in the back of a car handcuffed by my hands and feet. When I shook the cobwebs loose, I was utterly stunned on who was driving the car, It was Marcus!!

“Marcus?! What the Hell?!!” I screamed furiously.

“I told you I was going to get you” he laughed hysterically.

“You son of a b***h!!” I yelled.

“You’re far away from Michael Jackson now!!” he screamed.

“You knew?” I asked shocked.

“Of course, how else would I be able to find you?” he added “You won’t be seeing him for a long, long time.”

I began to cry, today was my birthday and I was supposed to spend it with Michael.
After twenty minutes, we reached a house, a house practically in the middle of nowhere. I was doomed. He carried me into this dark room and handcuffed me to the side of his bed.

June 15, 1984

I had been two days since I’ve been kidnapped by Marcus. I refused to sleep ‘cause I was afraid of the things he was going to do to me. He already has done some things, like make lewd comments and make sexual taunts at me. He had nothing else to do, that bastard. When he wanted me to eat, I refused, I didn’t know what he put in it.

June 19, 1984

I had been cut off from all communication in the world. I was still handcuffed and I wasn’t permitted to watch the news or talk on the phone. I thought of Michael ever since I been here, I know he’s looking for me, I just know it. After an hour or two, Marcus left the house, but left me in the dark, handcuffed. I was scared, I didn’t know what he was up to.

************************************************************************

June 20, 1984
I was still at home figuring out what I was going to do about Leondra, and the tour. So far, the media does not know about this ordeal. The phone then rang, it was Leondra’s mother.

“Michael, where’s my daughter?”

“She’s sleep.” I lied. “I’ll have her call back.”

“No, I wanna talk to her now.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“She’s sleep.”

“She’s not sleep. What have you done to Leondra?”

“Nothing.”

“I know she’s not sleep, where is she?”

“Ok.” I sighed, annoyed. “I can’t lie to anymore. I haven’t seen her in almost two weeks.”

“What did you do to her?”

“Nothing ma’am I swear. I came home and she wasn’t in bed.”

June 21, 1984

I was still trying to figure out what to do when there was a knock on the door.
When I opened it, it was Leondra’s mother and the police.

“Mr. Jackson, can you come with us?”

“Why? I didn’t do anything.”

“You know where she is, I know you do!?” Margaret interrupted.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m just as worried as you are. I was going to get a private investigator on the job. I want to avoid the media okay?”

“Sir, can you come with us?”

“Am I under arrest?”

“No sir, we just need to ask you some questions.”

In two hours, I was being questioned by the LAPD of Leondra’s whereabouts.
We all decided to work together, with hopes of the media not knowing about any of this.

June 26, 1984

It had been about two weeks since I last seen Leondra. I know she was kidnapped and I was worried about whoever captured her. I had The Victory Tour coming up and I thought about canceling it so I can focus on the case. If I did that, it would receive major media press coverage and I know Leondra wouldn’t want that. My brothers thought I was being extremely selfish, but what the hell, my girlfriend was missing and she was in danger.
After a meeting with my brothers, I reluctantly decided to go ahead with the damn tour, a tour I didn’t want to do anyway. I had dropped a significant amount of weight over those two issues. I was 125 pounds and now I’m 105 pounds. I was fed up with everything in my life. When I was in the elevator, after the meeting, As I was leaning with my back against the wall, I just slowly slipped down until I was sitting on the floor. When someone tried to help me to my feet, I was too exhausted to stand.

“Just leave me alone. Let me rest here for a second” I said as I went up to the sixteenth floor.

************************************************************************

July 6, 1984

I was supposed to be at the opening night for the Victory Tour, but I was still stuck in this house. It was late at night and Marcus came in, drunk of course. He came over to me as I was now handcuffed to the floor. He knelt down and he began to play with my hair. I tried to fight him off, but being handcuffed, I didn’t have much defense. He began to rip off my top and suck my collarbone. I began to weep hysterically. In between kisses, he told me not to cry or it would get “better” for him. I forced myself to stop crying. After half an hour of forced foreplay, he got up in left me alone.
That same night, he decided to move me away from his room, and put me in a room that was dark and empty. He was up to something. Still drunk, he came in and closed the door. It was still dark, so I couldn’t see anything. But there was one thing I heard, he was unzipping his pants. I began to cry and yell for Michael.

“He’s not here to save you.” said Marcus.

I heard him get closer and closer. I still had pants on but I felt him straddle me, while I was still handcuffed. As he made me forcefully kiss him on the lips. After that, he began circulating his hips. And kissing my neck, and I was beginning to cry.

“Suck” he said with an angry voice.

“NO!!” I yelled. I felt a sting across my face

“I said suck dammit!!” He yelled

I had no other choice but to suck on his shaft. He shoved it so far down my throat, that I thought I was going to die from choking on it. His idea of torture had gone on for over an hour. He began moving his hips in a circular motion. He began to grunt as he was reaching his peak. When he reached his climactic point, his hot liquid shot into my mouth.

“Now swallow” he said calmly.

I didn’t swallow, when he reached down to kiss me, I spat it out of my mouth presumably all over his face. He began to laugh as he left.

“I’ll be back for more” He said slamming the door shut.

For an hour, I waited, but still no sign of him, I wanted to fight back, but I was still handcuffed and weak. I haven’t eaten since I was kidnapped.

August 13, 1984

I was physically tired and still handcuffed in the dark. He came in and put a little cloth of ether to my face, making more weak. Then, I felt him lifting me up. The next thing I know, I was against the wall, on my stomach. I felt his hands meander all over my a**, causing my to sob. He then pulled my pants down and I heard him unzip his pants.
He entered me from behind. I couldn’t move, even if I tried. I had this 230 pound man on top of me.

“Please stop!!!” I cried. There only were replies of moans and grunts until he came. He wrapped his arms around my waist so he could keep his balance.

December 12, 1984

For five months now, Marcus had forced me into having perform oral sex on him, in the dark He had no humanity in him left. After an hour, he came back, and turned on the light.

“I’m gonna let you watch it this time” said Marcus walking over to me.

For the next hour, I was forced to watch him reach his peak. I was crying. He then picked me up and carried me to his bedroom where he laid me on the bed. Then he removed my pants and began kissing me on my inner thighs. I was really hurt, this was not the way I wanted to give up my gift, by force…again. I didn’t want to give it to Marcus anyhow. For twenty minutes, I watched as he kissed me all over my body. He then was aroused again and he straddled me again. He was completely naked as his shaft hit my center.
He left my underwear on as he began to move his hips in a circular motion. To make sure I wouldn’t get out of this, he had both of my wrists pinned on either side of my head. I began to cry louder as he moaned. However, my cries were enough for him when he got off of me. Just when I thought he was finished, he returned with duct tape, and put it over my mouth. He then decided to remove the cuffs on my feet, so he can gain better entrance. He then removed my underwear and that was when I knew it was over. He then spread my legs wide enough to gain entrance. Then when he straddled me, I was able to knee him in the groin.
I got up and reached for the keys on the side of his bed and unlocked myself free from the handcuffs on my wrists. With all the strength I had left, I quickly grabbed his hands and feet and handcuffed them. I then frantically searched for a phone. First I made a call to 911 and then to Michael.

************************************************************************

I was at home wondering what I was gonna do, I still wanted to go to the public about this disappearance, nothing was working out. Then as I was sitting on the side of my bed, my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked. There was a frantic voice on the other side.

“Michael!!” she screamed, crying.

It took me a second before it hit me. “Leondra?”

“Michael, please help me” she cried.

“Where are you baby?” I began to cry.

“I don’t know Michael,”

Enraged by her voice, “Who did this to you baby?”

There was a pause. “ Marcus did it Michael.” she said “He was the one with the phone call threats.”

I was concerned about her well being. “Baby, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am now, the police are on the way”

“And so am I, I’ll be right there.” I said as I hung up.

I rode over to the police station and I followed them to the house, where Leondra was. When I arrived, the ambulance was already there and Marcus had already been arrested.

“Where’s Leondra?” I asked the paramedic.

“She’s over there” he pointed.

I ran over to were she was and embraced her tight.

“Michael-” she cried.

“Shh, shh, relax.” I said calmly. “Everything is gonna be okay.” I finished, holding back tears.

After breaking the hug, I helped the paramedics load her into the ambulance.

She wasn’t the vibrant girlfriend I had known to love. She lost weight, possibly more than I have and she looked pale in the face. She was sleep. I asked the paramedic what had happened. He wouldn’t give me any details. But she had fallen into unconsciousness. I had decided to ride in the ambulance with her.

“I’m gonna be here for you…always.” I said, sobbing quietly.

When we reached the hospital. I called Leondra’s worried mother to tell her that she has been found.

December 14, 1984

For two days Leondra was still unconscious and I was growing worried. I never left her side.

“Why won’t she wake up?” I asked the doctor.

“Give her time,” he said “She’ll wake up.”

“When?” I asked growing frustrated. The doctor never answered my question, he left. I began to gently stroke her hair as I started to cry. For the next hours, both my family and some of her family came by to visit. It was the only time I felt me and Joseph had a tender moment.

“Don’t worry son, she’ll be fine” he said putting his hand on my shoulder, and then walked out.

The family stayed for an hour and left, I was with Leondra’s mom, Margaret.

“Michael, can we talk?” Margaret asked.

“Sure.”

“I’m sorry Michael for everything.”

“It’s not a problem. I understand. My mother is like that with Janet, and La Toya.”

“I accept you and my daughter together.”

“I love her. She is my life.”

“I should’ve known Marcus was behind this.”

“Yeah, when I catch him…”

“Look Michael, you gotta let God handle this one. It would be a far worse punishment.”

“You’re right.”

“Why don’t you go home Michael, you look tired.” she said observing my face.

“No, I can’t leave her side” I said tearing up. “Why don’t you go, I’ll stay.” I added.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay Michael, I’ll be back tomorrow” she said kissing my forehead.

I was alone with my girlfriend sleeping.

“Come back to me babe. Just come back.”

For the next five minutes, I gently stroked her cheek with my thumb and I fell asleep at her bedside.


************************************************************************

CHAPTER 9
The Nightmares and The Proposal

December 15, 1984

When I woke up, all I could see is bright lights, I thought I was dead, but I wasn’t, I was in the hospital. When I looked over to my right, I saw was what I made out to be Michael. He was sleeping, and he had his head down. I smiled at him sleeping, then I began to comb my fingers through his matted, curly hair. He stirred, and looked up. A smile came to his face as he saw me there watching him.

“Good Morning, sleepyhead” I told Michael.

“Morning, sweetie” he said grabbing my hand. “I missed you.” he began to tear up.

“I missed you too” I said wiping the tears from his face. “So what did I miss?” I asked curiously.

“Oh, nothing important.” he said. “But enough about that, How are you feeling?”

“As good as you look.” I said laughing.

Michael chuckled. “I was worried sick about you. I had private investigators look for you all over the country…even if I was on tour.”

“I was worried about never being able to see you again,” I said, rubbing my thumb on his hand. “But it was good that you finished your tour. How was it?”

“It was terrible…” He picked up my hand and began kissing it. Then he began kissing each one of my fingers.

“Michael,” I chuckled lightly. “Not here”. He didn’t care, he continued to kiss my fingers at least until the doctor came in.

“I see you have awoken,” said Dr. Gonzalez.

“When can I go home?” I asked anxiously.

“Today, actually since you woke up” said Dr. Gonzalez “But we need to do a few more tests.”

“Okay,” I sighed “Can I just get them over with?” I pleaded with the doctor.

“Sure”

Still feeling weak, Michael then helped me up to take the tests. After that, we headed back to our, home, a home I haven’t seen in six months. After, I got home with Michael, I decided to sleep. Feeling tired as well, Michael laid down. I twitched as Michael began to hold me close.

December 20, 1984

I was having nightmares ever since I came home.

“He’s not here to save you.” said Marcus.

“Please stop!!!” I cried. There only were replies of moans and grunts until he came. He wrapped his arms around my waist so he could keep his balance.

I woke up screaming and crying.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Michael asked startled.

“Marcus, where is he?”

“It’s okay. He’s not here.” he said embracing me. “It was just a nightmare.”

************************************************************************

January 2, 1985

I woke up with Leondra not next to me, so I got up to see where she was.
I found her watching TV, so I sat next to her.

“Baby are you ok?”

“I’m fine, I just can’t sleep with these dreams.”

“What the hell did he do to you?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Come here.” I said cuddling up with her on the couch.

January 13, 1985

It was a month after Leondra came home. She was still shaken up by what had happened to her. Sometimes I would find her twitching every time I tried to hold her close. It hurt me to see her that way. She began distancing herself from me at times and others, she would be open. She would never tell me anything that happened to her during her kidnapping, she would always change the subject.
However I had problems of my own, I had vitiligo and lupus real bad and I was frequently seeing a doctor about them. But anyway, Leondra was my first priority. When I asked about the trial date, she would never tell me. If she was testifying, I wanted to be there for her. Before she was kidnapped, I wanted to ask her to marry me, but now thinking on it, it may not be the right time.

April 14, 1985

Leondra was coming back to her normal self, and I figured that I would take her somewhere special. We spent the last week in London and I figured it was today when I would ask her for her hand in marriage. Late that night, we went out to a fancy restaurant. After everything fun we did, we headed to the park. We were the only ones there so I figured it was the right time. As we were walking hand in hand, my palms were sweaty from nervousness.

“Baby,” she asked. “Why are your hands so sweaty?”

I looked at her. “Look sweetie,” I paused. “We’ve been together for five years now.” I began singing a verse from Shalamar’s This Is For The Lover In You. “It‘s got to be real, I can write a book on how you‘re making me feel. I know I‘ll never find another who could match the lovin‘ you‘re givin to me.” I paused again. “I love you and I wonder…”As I got down on one knee. “If you would marry me?”

She had a stunned look on her face. “Yes!!!, Yes!!! Michael I will marry you” she said as she began to cry.

I then hugged her tightly and we kissed, she was now my fiancé. “When do you want to get married?” I asked.

“Well, Michael,” she paused “Since you’re not able to celebrate your birthday, let’s do that as a birthday present?” she asked smiling.

“I love you” I replied.

“I love you more” she said.

“No, I love you more” I said cheerfully. “Come on, I got something to show you back at the hotel.”

When we reached the hotel, the room was filled with rose petals and a nice dinner.

“Wow” said Leondra. “You went through all this for me?”

“Yeah…” I stated. “Hey, let’s skip dinner, I‘m gonna go in the hot tub.”

“Okay, Michael, I’ll join you in a minute” she said.

After five minutes, she joined me in the hot tub. As I moved slowly towards her, she kind of withdrew, but then she was okay. I was clouded with lust for her as I began to make my move. As I began kissing her neck, she tilted her head more to the side, which allowed me more room. As I moved my hands down to part her thighs, she then pushed my hand away.

“What’s wrong baby?” I asked.

“Nothing…I don’t…” she said nervously. “I’m just gonna go to sleep.” she got out of the hot tub.

I felt awkward of what just occurred. Leondra still never told me what happened in those five months. I had to get it out of her, I had to ask.

“Baby?” I asked as I slipped underneath the covers beside her.

“Yes Michael?”

“What happened in those five months?, you haven’t been right since.”

“Michael baby, I don’t wanna talk about it”

I sighed out of frustration. “Leondra, its me, you can tell me anything” I said as I turned her face to face mine. I then saw a tear roll down her eyes.

“He…” she paused. “He raped me Michael. You don’t know how much hell he’s put me through in those five months.”

I quickly embraced her. I could do nothing but grow mad with hot tears rolling down my cheeks.”

“When is the trial baby?” I asked.

“Michael, it’s in October” she paused, grabbing my hand. “But Michael you have to promise not to lose your composure ok?”

“I don’t know…”

“Please Michael, I don’t want him to be free, based on how much you act like an ass in court.” I said candidly. Michael wasn’t laughing. “No I’m really serious”.

************************************************************************

April 19, 1985

Leondra and I just gotten back from London and I was scheduled for an unauthorized interview. I had requested that this will not be released to the public, they eventually agreed. For five hours, I was stuck at Hayvenhurst in an interview. I was so bored, I began to sing. I had to literally beg Leondra to answer a few questions. I also brought La Toya into the interview. So in the last two hours, Leondra reluctantly agreed to answer some questions. We answered questions at the fountain.

“What is your relationship to Michael?” The interviewer asked.

She paused as she grabbed my hand. “I’m his girlfriend”

“She’s so wonderful…” I added.

“So how long have you guys been together?”

“Five years.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“I was his personal assistant in 1977.”

“And Michael, was it love at first sight?”

“For me, yes, but she already had a boyfriend” I replied.

“Leondra, what made you fall for Michael?

“I guess it was his support, his generosity and I went through some of the same things he did, I just wasn’t in the spotlight. And besides, he’s childlike and playful.”

“Can I ask a few questions?” I interrupted.

“Sure.” said the interviewer.

La Toya then said something was on the corner of my mouth.

“I don’t know what it is” said La Toya. I chuckled.

“Its not important, I don‘t care.” I replied

“Its off now, you see it?” as I showed her my hand.

“Anyway,” I continued. “I was just talking about-”

“Oh wait…” La Toya interrupted, brushing whatever the hell was on my mouth.

“I was just talking about the dusk and the magic of dawn…” I paused. “Would you be quiet you fathead rascal” I said talking to Bill. “Well I wanted to ask you two was, What inspires you?”

La Toya answered first. “Musically or what?” she asked

“Anything, I mean what inspires you to create things or musically or what makes you feel good what?” I replied

“ I would say the sound of the ocean, I like the beach”

“Really?”

“Musically, that inspires me because I see the creation of God and I listen to all the different sounds of the ocean.”

“That’s what I spoke out earlier”

“Oh really”

“Yeah I said the same thing”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope, what about you Leondra? What inspires you?”

“Of course you, the sounds of nature, like in the forest. If you ever go alone as I have, you can just take in all of the sounds and just say, Wow! God created all This?” she said in awe.

“Wow babe, that’s amazing! Um, La Toya, What do you think is the main thing you wanna do in the future? What’s your ultimate goal?” I asked.

“My ultimate goal is to be a great performer, as Barbara Streisand, Diana Ross, actually they are the only two that has really combined music as well as acting together”

“That’s true”

“And that’s what I’d like to be. Of course everyone wants to be where you are. That‘s where I‘d like to be”

“I haven‘t done anything, I feel like I just started” I said humbly.

“Its cold”

“No it isn’t its magic how can you say it’s cold it’s a wonderful night. It‘s magic out here” I said with excitement. “Are you cold really? What about you babe, are you cold?

“No baby, I’m fine” Leondra said with a soft voice.

“No babe, you’re cheeks are red. Wait here, I’ll go get my jacket” I said as I skipped off. I came back with my jacket and one for La Toya as well.

“Thanks sweetie” Leondra said.

“Thanks Michael”

“You are both welcome”

“It may be cold ‘cause of the water”

“Yes, its clear, its beautiful, its wonderful out here. So anyway babe, What’s your ultimate goal?”

“Well, Michael…” Leondra paused. “My goal is to accomplish whatever God put me on this earth to do, and to become a good lawyer” she said smiling.

I returned the smile. “Anyway La Toya, what else would you like to say, some of your dreams?”

“No, oh dreams in life?”

“Yes…” I shot her an annoyed look as Leondra laughed at her.

“I thought you meant those terrible dreams I have”

“I got an idiot for a sister folks” I said in another comedic voice.

“I got my training from him” La Toya said pointing and laughing at me.

“What else, what are some of your other dreams?”

“I’d like to be right now where you are”

“She keeps saying that” I said rolling my eyes.

“Because you’ve done it all practically-”

“I haven’t done it all” I interrupted.

“Yes you have and every artist would like to be in your shoes and I‘m an artist just starting, that‘s where I‘d like to be.”

“That’s very flattering thank you. But there‘s so much more it really is. I don‘t like it when people limit themselves. We all have a lot in common”

“I’d love to be in movies”

“Yeah, yeah” I said playing with La Toya’s chin then playing with Leondra’s.

“Michael don’t.” said Leondra

“I guess that would be it for the entertainment.” La Toya continued. “Has Bill been here the entire time?” La Toya asked.

“He thinks he’s directing this piece, hey you’re not directing this” I said laughing at Bill.

“Bill!! Can you close that door?” La Toya yelled.

“Your voice is very irritating. You sound like Carol Burnett.” I said honestly.

“I know I hate to scream.” La Toya admitted. “Anyways Look at this beautiful couple, aren’t they so cute together?”

I was embarrassed by that remark, Leondra and I began to blush. “Anyways, we’ve captured some good magic and um, I think it’s a good time to close this.”

La Toya and I sang Never Can Say Goodbye but La Toya didn’t remember the lyrics. Leondra and I left while La Toya closed the interview. I did notice the cameras following us as we walked away hand in hand.

********************************************************************************

CHAPTER 10
The Wedding

May 10, 1985

I was lying in bed when Michael came home.

“Hello”

“Hi Michael.”

“Were you going to sleep?”

“In a while, why?”

“I needed to write some things down. I got some ideas for another song. Is that okay?”

“Sure, it’s fine.”

After Michael started writing the phone rang.

“I’ll get it Michael, just keep writing.”

When I answered the phone, it was Chris. He needed help with some work, so I said I was going to help him even if it was late.

“Who was that?” Michael asked coming out of our room.

“Chris.”

“Who’s he?”

“Ain't no need for you, baby. It ain't what you think, so don't worry.” I replied. “He just needs help on lawyer work okay?”

“This late?”

“You still got me, I’m your future wife. I’m gonna help him out okay? That’s it.”

“Okay…” he said heading back to our room.

Within an hour Chris showed up.

“What it that you need help on Chris?” I asked.

“I’m sorry it’s late, but I need advice on argumentation and persuasion.”

“Chris, I coulda told you that over the phone.”

“I have short-term memory.”

“Ok,” I sighed. “Have a seat.”

I pulled up a chair next to him, and explained everything about the concept for an hour. After he finally understood and left.

“How did you like watching me Michael hmm?” I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

“You knew I was standing there?”

“Of course.”

“Are you sure you wanna be a lawyer and not a detective?” He asked kissing my neck.

I moaned lightly. “Yeah, I’m sure, but I’m mad that you didn’t trust me.”
I said breaking the waist lock.

“I trust you, but I don’t trust him.”

“And you thought that he was going to make a move and I would just let him do it?”

“Sorry” he replied, turning me around to face him.

He embraced me, then kissed me. He backed me up onto the couch and he mounted me. He dove his tongue into my mouth and cupped my breasts with his hands, cutting my breathing short.

“Michael,” I moaned.

“Yeah?”

“Slow down and here me out.” I said breaking the hold. “There’s something I gotta let you know. There’s no need to rush. I know what’s on your mind and I know this feeling is crazy, but we don’t have to rush something real.”

He moaned. “Do you know what you do to me? I can’t wait 3 months.”

“Baby, If your willing to wait, we can just take our time okay? I think you can wait.” I said getting up from the couch.


August 25, 1985

The wedding was four days away and I suggested that I stay with Cheryl until the wedding.

“Why four days early Leondra?” Cheryl asked.

“Michael can’t keep his hands off me. He’s getting very anxious.”

“Don’t you like it? I know you do.”

“Not really. In fact, I don’t think I’m ready after what happened.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I don’t know why he did that to you. Marcus knows he’s did wrong. It’s hard to take care of a younger brother.”

“I see…” I sighed. “It’s like when I started working for Michael, he got more violent. And I loved Marcus, I really did. I just wished he waited like Michael.”

“Obviously, Michael is having that same trouble.” We both laughed. “Hey, what about Chris? I heard he’s been having trouble accepting the fact that you’re marrying Michael.”

“I don’t know, I just love Michael.”

“What is it about him that you like besides his looks and his um, you know?”

“Cheryl, I haven’t seen his “um, you know” but I love the conversations and his jokes. We don’t spend that much time together though, but he know me very well.”

“That’s good, but you haven’t seen “it” yet?”

“Nope.”

“Well, after Thursday, I’m pretty sure you’ll know.”

“I’m very nervous.”

“It’ll be okay, you’ll get used to it.” She assured me. “What about a bachelorette party?”

“No way. I don’t want to deal with male strippers.”

“Exotic Dancers?”

“No.”

“Then what do you wanna do?”
“Hang Out.”



********************************************************************************
August 27, 1985

I was growing very anxious about the need to be with Leondra and the wedding. I wasn’t going to see her until the wedding and I was really, really missing her. I hung out with Randy the whole night.

“So you are not gonna see her until the wedding huh?”

“Yeah.”

“What about a bachelor party?”

“I don’t think so. I’m too committed, and with the impatience that’s growing, if a stripper came here, I would screw up everything.

“What about that time during the Triumph Tour, didn’t you and her you know?’

“Have sex?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“What did happen that night?”

“I can’t tell you that. What goes on between us is nobody’s business.”

“So you did do it.”

“No, it went far, but not that far.”

“So you never seen her?”

“No.”

August 28, 1985

It was the night before the wedding and I was nervous as hell. We had gotten into many arguments over the last four months. I had to make it up to her, every now and then it was my fault. I didn’t want a bachelor party, I see that as a way of cheating and infidelity. I’m pretty sure Leondra rejected her bachelorette party because of the same way I feel. Other than that, I was pretty excited, the woman who I had loved so dearly is going to become my wife tomorrow. I just wish I could see her.

August 29, 1985

Today was the day, Leondra and I were to become husband and wife. We were to marry at Hayvenhurst as my mother suggested to avoid costs. The suit did cost me a lot, I was wearing a white suit with a red rose posted on the left side of my chest. The wedding was in two hours and I was starting to get cold feet. My brothers tried to comfort me, but it made me worse. Then this big, tall man came over, he had to be about 6 feet five inches.

“Hello Michael, I‘m Micheal.” Leondra’s older brother said as he extended his hand.

“Nice to meet you Micheal” I said shaking his hand.

“It’s good to finally see a good man marry my sister”

“I hope so, I’m starting to get cold feet” I said nervously

“No worries Michael, I got your back. Eventually you’ll get over it.” He said chuckling. “I feel honored to be your best man and walk my sis down the aisle since her father couldn’t do it.”

“You know, I love your sister, I really do. I can’t imagine my life without her”

“I’m pretty sure she feels the same way about you, When she visited me, she talked about you all the time.”

After the talk with her brother, I felt better about tying the knot with Leondra.
The wedding was set to begin and the nervous set back in after the bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way to the front. Everybody stood up as I made my entrance. They began to play a song that came out two years ago, Anita Baker’s Angel.

Love like ours is heaven sent
Each day a day to remember
I feel so safe, feel secure with you

You give me love, you keep right on givin’
Fill me up, baby, with the joy of living
When things get tough I can always turn to you

You’re my angel
Oh, angel
You’re my angel

Love the way we touch, I love the way it feels
Every time you’re near me my poor heart just won’t keep still
No doubt about that this love I feel is real
Ask me to go with you, you know I will

Hold me near, hold me tight
Only you can make it real, only you make it all right
Just let me know that I am special to you

My angel
Oh, angel
You’re my angel
Oh, angel

I tried hard not to cry as I awaited the entrance of my wife to be. After two minutes, Leondra’s older brother walked her down the aisle as the song Free by Deniece Williams played.

Whispering in his ear my magic potion for love
telling him I'm sincere and that there's nothing too
good for us and I just got to be free

Whispering in his ear my magic potion for love
telling him I'm sincere and that there's nothing too good
for us but I want to be free free free and I just got to be me me me

Teasing hands on his mind gives life such mystery
happiness all the time oh and how that just pleases me
but I want to be free free free and I just got to be me me
Feeling you close to me makes all my senses smile lets not waste ecstasy because
I only be here for a while I got to be free free free and I just got to be me me me Free
Free and I just wanna I just wanna be me FREE!!


I tried to hold my composure on how beautiful Leondra looked. After her brother let go of her arm, I took her hands in mine and kissed both of them. She had a white wedding dress. I couldn’t see her face ‘cause it was covered by a veil. After her brother took a seat, the Minister gave our friends and family the ok to take their seats. The opening words of the minister didn’t get my attention until he said, “If there is a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” You can cut the tension in the room with a knife, or maybe it was me who was tense.
I began to get so nervous, that I began rocking back and forth on my toes. As it came time for us to say our vows, I began to cry, and Leondra wiped the tears from my eyes as she became wrapped up in the moment.

I sighed deeply before I began. “Leondra…” I began welling up. “Ever since you walked into my life, my life has been so much better. You taught me how to love, better than anyone else. For that, I thank you and I love you with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I felt my eyes stinging for the tears to come out, but I managed to keep them in. Then we all looked over to my future wife to say her vows. She seemed nervous, because her lips were quivering, or that is what I assumed under her veil.

“Michael, what can I say? We’ve made it this far together. I owe you my life because without out you, I would have the happiness that I do now.” she paused “Without you my life would have no meaning to it, I probably wouldn’t be living hadn’t it been for you Michael. You saved my life from destruction. With you, I find that high level of comfort and safety that I have never felt with anyone. I love you Michael Joseph Jackson”

I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. After we had said our vows, it was time to finalize our marriage. I went first.

I turned to her, holding her hands within mine, staring in to her eyes. “I, Michael Joseph Jackson, take you, Leondra Hawkins to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better or for worse, for richer, and for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death do us part.”

“I, Leondra Hawkins, take you, Michael Joseph Jackson to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better or for worse, for richer, and for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death do us part.”

The minister then called upon my now brother-in-law’s son for the rings. As I placed the ring on her finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment.” I repeated the words of the minister and grinned at her, we were just about married.

She had repeated the same words of the minister and then he made it official.

“With the powers invested in me, I pronounce you both husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

I wasn’t for showing affection for Leondra in front of family, mostly in private, but hell I did it anyway after I lifted her veil. We now became one. Everyone clapped as I pulled away from the kiss.

“Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the loving couple; Mr. and Mrs. Jackson…” The minister ended the procession.

I was so happy, we were finally married. I finally married my true love. As we left, they played the last song off the Thriller album, The Lady in My Life.

After about an hour of taking pictures, my wife and I returned for the reception. There we ate. While we were eating, Randy was filming us and asking questions.

“Congratulations Mike, you’re finally married!!! What are your thoughts?”

“Well, I’m blessed and happy, I found my true love.”

“Good, Mrs. Jackson. Sounds good doesn’t it?”

“Yes, Randy it does. I’m just happy to be with Michael.” Leondra replied.

“So what’s your first plan for your honeymoon? Making babies?”

“Randy!!” I said embarrassed.

After eating, it was time for us to have our first dance together as husband and wife. They played Michael Jackson’s You Are There from my Forever, Michael album. The first time was easy ‘cause we were on a date, but to have about three hundred eyes on us was horrifying. When everybody started joining in, we began to get more comfortable. In fact, we shared a few deep kisses in between dances.

“I can’t wait to be alone…with you.” Leondra whispered, full of excitement.

“Me too…I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. This time as husband and wife” I whispered back, trying to avoid the talk of sex knowing what she has been through. When it was time to toss the garter, I got a look of what was yet to come later tonight and forgot about the garter. I began rubbing my hands up and down her thighs. Then, I slowly slid the garter off of her leg, making her giggle.
We stayed at Hayvenhurst ‘til at least eight o’clock, then we returned to our place and we grabbed our luggage, We were headed for Hawaii. Leondra didn‘t know though, it was a surprise, It was only a few hours away. On the way there, I had her blindfolded and her ears covered until we got to the hotel.

CHAPTER 11
The Honeymoon

“Surprise!!!” I said as I removed the blindfold from her eyes and the muffs from her ears.

“Wow, Michael!!” she said in astonishment. “You chose Hawaii for our honeymoon?

“Yep, I hope you like it”

“I love it!!!”

“Come on, let’s go to our room” I said lacing her fingers in mine.

Before we could enter the room, I “carried her over the threshold” into the room. We shared a few deep kisses before she stripped me down to my boxers. I carefully studied her eyes, before I made the move to strip her to her bra and panties. Feeling worried about her, I sat at the edge of the bed. She was standing before me when I asked her if she was willing.

“Baby,” I paused, sighing and grabbing her right hand. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” I asked with concern.

She looked down at me smiling. “Michael, sweetie, I’m ready”

I smiled back at her as I stood up.

“Baby…” she said.

“Yes, my loving wife?” I asked as my eyes began to fill with desire.

“Happy Birthday”

“Thank you baby”

“So Michael, tell me what you want for your birthday” she said teasingly.

I looked up as I was thinking what I wanted. “I want you” I told her as I planted a kiss on her soft lips.

I gave her one last kiss to see if she was ready and she didn’t back off, so I leaned in for a deeper kiss. She moaned into my mouth as my tongue entered. As our tongues ran across each other, I backed her up against the wall. I began to get more aroused as she wrapped her arms around me. She wrapped her legs around my waist as we began grinding against each other. I hissed as I gyrated my pelvis by her entrance. She moaned in my ear as I picked her up and laid her down on the bed.
She giggled as I ran my fingers all over her body; I was trying to remember every piece of her body. I then began crawling towards her like she was prey.

“Hold On.” I said turning off the light.

As I positioned myself on top of her, my heart began to beat faster. I began kissing her neck intensely which made me hard even more. Leondra had to sit up in order for me to unclasp her bra. As she laid back down I couldn’t help but stare at her.

“You’re so beautiful”

“Michael…”

I couldn’t help it but I was nervous.

“Michael, what’s the matter?”

“I’ll admit I’m kinda nervous, we never went this far.

“Baby,” She said taking my face in her soft hands. “It’ll be okay, I‘m not worried about it.”

I said no more, I continued kissing her neck hungrily. The more excited I became, the less nervous I became. I left a wet trail of kisses down to her nipples as I began taking them into my mouth, one by one. She let a loud moan as I went further down south. As I looked back up to her face I could tell her face was filled with anticipation.

“Do me, Michael.” she moaned.

I got off of her and removed my boxers. I removed her underwear as well and got back on top of her.

“Tell me if it hurts you, okay?”

Before I went further, she was shaking underneath me.

“Are you okay?”

“Michael,” she let out a deep sigh. “I’m-”

“Nervous?” I finished her statement.

“Yes.”

I was still straddling her, but I sat up on my knees. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“I know but, the things that happened.” she said sitting up, giving me a kiss.

“Baby, I know you’re scared, but I’m not that bastard and I’m nervous too.” I said, returning another kiss.

“Okay, Michael. Let’s go.” she commanded, laying back down.

“Are you sure?” I asked, looking into her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Are you really sure?” I asked. She nodded.

As I entered her slowly, she whimpered.

“Are you okay baby?” I moaned.

“Yes, Michael” she said, hissing “Keep going”

First I started thrusting slowly, getting used to the feeling. Leondra then wrapped her legs around my waist causing me to go deeper inside her warmth. We created a rhythm of our own plus the repeated “I love yous” we shouted at each other during our passionate love making.
“Baby…” was all I can moan as she began rubbing her hands all over my sweaty chest. I began to groan seductively, being completely pleasured from the feel of the warmth in her body. I felt I wasn’t going deeper enough so I tried the “deep stick“ position. She felt so good. I was in complete ecstasy.

“Michael,” she moaned. “Go faster”

I followed her orders and I picked up the speed. She from grabbing the sheets to arching her back, which aroused me even more. I began hissing as I was reaching my peak; she felt so good so I slowed down on my thrusts to increase the pleasure even more for the remaining time. I screamed out Leondra’s name as my hot liquid poured from me like a stream. I then thrust a few more times so Leondra could reach her peak.

“Michael!!!!” she shouted as she came. “Michael, stay inside me.”

I was too drained to move so I stayed in my position.

************************************************************************

This experience was excellent for both of us, I felt this wasn’t his first time, but knowing he is a dancer is what makes him experienced. We engaged in deep conversation as I began rubbing his back. Minutes later, he withdrew. I turned on the lamp, making Michael get up and run to the bathroom. After two minutes, Michael came out wearing a robe.

“Michael, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

I got up from the bed and went and stood before him. “There is something wrong.” Even though he protested, I removed the robe from his shoulder. “So this is what you’ve been hiding from me Michael?”

“I told you not to do that.” he went to go sit on the bed and put his face in his hands.

I joined him. There we were completely unsheathed in front of each other. I stood up, removed his hands from his face, and took him by the hand to stand up. Then I started rubbing his chest.

“Michael, besides your “gift”, I think you’re beautiful. On the inside and out.”

He started planting kisses on my neck. I moaned loudly and he began gently biting my neck.

“Michael stop.” I laughed.

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, lie back.” I said turning off the light.

I was on top. I began to rock my hips back and forth slowly, which made Michael and I moan simultaneously.

“Baby…” Michael groaned, biting his lip “Yooooooooou feeeeeeel sooooo goooooood”

I moaned “Yoooou feeeel goood tooooo.”

As I continued my slow rocking, I felt Michael’s hands begin to massage my breasts.

“Oh, Michael…” I moaned “I want you so bad” I said biting my lip.

Michael hissed. “I want you badder” he groaned.

After he was finished massaging my breasts, Michael sat up while I was still grinding on him turning it into the lotus position. He took hold of my hips and began to rock them faster. Feeling I could maintain the pace, Michael took complete control by kissing me on my neck. As I was still rocking my hips, I threw my head back, allowing more room for Michael while he was kissing my collarbone. After he was done, he placed his hands back on my hips, and placed my forehead on his as we intensely stared into each others lust-filled eyes. I began biting my lips so hard, I thought they were going to bleed. Michael began sucking on my bottom lip as we continued our rhythmic lovemaking.

I whimpered as Michael’s shaft was starting to hurt.

“Baby, you want me to stop?” Michael asked, sweaty and hyperventilating.

“No…” I said hissing. My head clouded with lust. I adjusted myself into a comfortable position and continued rocking on top of him. I was reaching my peak, so I didn’t want to stop.

“Oh f**k!!!” I screamed, making Michael smile.

Michael reached his peak before me again and I reached mine as I felt Michael’s shaft shake inside my warmth. We remained in that position to catch our breaths. I got off of him as he laid down and I laid next to him.

“Baby…” Michael said, hyperventilating. “Do you think we are meant to be?”

“Michael, sweetie, we wouldn’t be here if God didn’t want us to be here” I said catching my breath. “I love you Mr. Jackson”

“I love you…more…Mrs. Jackson” said Michael, taking all the energy left to roll over and kiss my lips.

We then fell asleep, I was next to my husband…finally.


August 30, 1985

I woke up listening to Michael’s heartbeat, it was so enchanting. Thinking he wasn’t awake I withdrew my arm from his chest and headed for the shower. I had a headache from the incredible sex we had last night. I couldn’t help but to smile. As I got up from the bed, I felt a hand grab my arm.

“Where are you going?” Michael asked, dazed.

“To take a shower?” I responded

“Oh, okay”

“Go back to sleep Michael” I said as I headed for the bathroom.

Five minutes after I was in the shower, the water falling on my face, I felt Michael’s arms wrap around my waist from behind and his head resting on my shoulder.

“You didn’t think I was gonna let you take a shower by yourself did you?” he said kissing my shoulder.

“Yes…” I moaned “I told you to go back to sleep”

“How was last night?” he asked teasingly.

“Baby, you were incredible.” I replied seductively.

“You want more?”

“I thought you would never ask” I said sarcastically.

Michael then turned me to face him.

“Michael-”

He pressed my lips together with his finger. He then backed me up against the shower wall. He had total control of me, which I found to be a real turn on. He then stared at me with a concentrated look on my eyes. I was lost in his big brown eyes. He then bit his lip and leaned in for a kiss. He then slipped his tongue into my mouth which made me feel incredibly weak. He began rubbing his hands down my sides before leaving them at my hips. He pressed his body against mine as he broke the kiss between us to let us catch our breaths.
I wrapped my arms around his neck to let him know I was ready for the ride. Michael picked up both my legs and helped me wrap them around his waist as he entered me again. My heart beat was getting faster as he gave me every piece of his heart. Once again, our souls became one as our bodies molded together. He gave very slow thrusts, increasing our pleasure.

Michael hissed. “oooooooh baby”

“Oh Michael,” I moaned.

He began moving his hands up and down my body as he sucked on my collarbone.

“Michael, please, go faster” I begged shakily.

“Baby,” he moaned “We’ve got plenty of time.” He said continuing his slow thrusts.

I removed my hands from around his neck and began rubbing them on his back.

“Michael, go deeper” I whined passionately.

I screamed loud as Michael followed that request but he still went slower. After a while, Michael began delivering faster, slower, harder thrusts. I began digging my nails in his back which made him bite his lip.

“Oh God!!!!!” I screamed with pleasure.

“Baby hold on…” Michael groaned, wanting to keep the desire going.

Michael began to slow down his thrusts, but they remained so forceful.

I couldn’t hold it anymore as my orgasm overcame me, so I kept my legs wrapped around his waist to keep from falling . Soon after delivering a few more thrusts, Michael came, pulling me against him. He delivered a few deep kisses as we took turns washing each other beneath the shower.

“Your so incredible” Michael said, drying me off with the towel.

“You are too, sweetie” I replied.

After we dried each other off, we found it hard to look at each other without getting aroused, so we hurried and threw some clothes on. For the day, we spent time walking up and down the East Hawaiian beach and at the East Hawaii Cultural Center and returned back to the hotel and watched Scooby Doo. After the beach was cleared at night, we were given special clearance to spend time alone. For about an hour we spent time under the moon and stars. While I was wrapped in his arms, he began singing to me, he had the voice of an angel. We headed back to the hotel and drifted off to sleep.

************************************************************************

August 31, 1985

I laid there awake with thoughts running through my mind. I had started working on my new album and I was just married. We had to cut down the honeymoon because Leondra had to go back to school and I had to get back to work. Busy schedules lay ahead of both of us, even though we were married, we were still going to see less of each other. Thinking about that, I turned to my sleeping beauty and began caressing her face with my hands. I had truly found my soul mate after all the trials we went through to make our relationship work. Leondra opened her eyes.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Can’t sleep”

“Why not?”

“I was just thinking about what will happen when our honeymoon is over. Our busy schedules…”

“Michael, we have to accept that, I don’t know what else to tell you. We’ll make it work okay?” she said rubbing my chest.

“Ok…”

“Hold on,” she said getting up from the bed. “I got something that will make you sleep”.

I couldn’t see in the dark, so I didn’t know what to expect. Then I felt her straddling me, she knew what I wanted. We had another two hours of passionate lovemaking.

‘There…” she said, catching her breath. “Does that make you tired?”

“Oh, yeah…” I said hyperventilating

“Good, now try to get some sleep”

“Whatever you say babe.”

We cuddled as we both drifted off to sleep in the nude. I woke up to find out Leondra was looking out the windows with a robe on. I grabbed my robe and threw it on. I snuck up on Leondra and wrapped my hands around her hips.

She jumped. “Seriously baby, you have got to stop sneaking on me” she chuckled, turning around. “Did you sleep well?”

“After what you did to me,” I said biting my lip temptingly. “yes”

“Michael, don’t do that.”

“Do what? Bite My lip?”

“Yes”

“Why?” I said charmingly “Does it turn you on?”

“Yes, it does”

I began teasing her by biting my lip. She then hurled a pillow at me.

“Seriously sweetie, you don’t want to get in a pillow fight with me, especially after you lost last time”

“I did not lose, remember, I ended up tickling your feet” She said laughing.

“Yeah, but I got outta that”

“Aside from that, you wanna go down to the beach like we did yesterday?”

“Yeah, but its raining out.”

“So, quit being a chicken.”

“I’m not a chicken” I pouted playfully. “We’ll go.”

An hour before midnight, we still went to the beach. With no one in sight, we took off all of our clothes and made love in the water. We kept our voices down to do away with of any attention. It was hard to do that especially because it felt sooo good to be inside her. When we got enough strength, we headed back to our hotel room. We had to leave tomorrow in the afternoon.

September 1, 1985

It was late and it was the last day here. I decided to surprise Leondra with a nice dinner and a bath. After she woke up from her nap, she saw her surprise. The room was filled with rose petals, a nice chicken and veggie dinner. What she didn’t see was the bath tub lined with candles.

“Michael!!! I love it!!! Thank you!!!” she said embracing me.

“You’re Welcome”

For that time, we ate.

“Wait, there’s more” I said, building suspense. “Follow me” I said leading her by hand.

When she opened the door, she saw the candles and the bubble bath. I helped her get in the tub.

“Baby, aren’t you gonna join me?” she asked

“No, this is for you.” I said sitting at the edge of the tub.

“Michael, this is not my honeymoon, this is our honeymoon, so get in”

I followed her orders and got in the tub behind her. She then rested her head on my chest. I began rubbing her arms on both sides.

“I wish this can last forever” she said breaking the silence after twenty minutes.

“Umm,” I sighed “Me too”

“So can I ask you one last question?”

“Shoot”

“Can I have you for desert?” she asked seductively.

I raised my left eyebrow. “Oh, what the hell, I got lots of energy to spare”

I got out of the tub first to help her out.

“I want to try something new.” I said charmingly. “Turn around.”

“I’m not too happy about this one.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

“Drill position.”

“You sure do know a lot.” I laughed.

“So do you.”

“I’m a dancer, I know everything, some you haven’t experienced yet.”

I began kissing her all over her neck, causing her to moan loudly.

“Mmmmm Right there Michael.” she moaned.

“Are you ready?” I asked

“Yes”

She screamed out of pleasure as I entered her.

“How does it feel?” I asked whimpering.

I assumed she felt okay by her loud moans, grabbing the sheets, calling my name, and digging her nails in my back which gave me more ambition to satisfy her. We were both in seventh heaven as I delivered a few more thrusts before reaching my peak. Leondra had already reached her peak. We cuddled all night. Today was the last day of our honeymoon, unfortunately.

************************************************************************

CHAPTER 12
The Testimony

September 6, 1985

Cheryl called me over to talk about the honeymoon, so I went over.

“So how was the trip?”

“It was magic, pure magic.”

“Damn! What did he do to you?”

“Nothing, he was very sweet and very “playful”.”

“Playful huh? So now that you’ve seen “it”, Is it true what they say about dancers in bed?”

“You’ve asked me that before.”

“I know, but is it true?”

“What do they say about dancers in bed?”

“Dancers, women and men, who can maintain a steady beat are better in bed...and being a good dancer requires you maintaining a steady beat. Men who can carry a tune somewhat without sounding absolutely terrible are better in bed.…”

“Well then, I have it good either way. He’s a great singer and dancer. To answer your question, yes it’s true.” I smiled.

She screamed out of excitement. “Wow so how is he?”

“Incredible, mind blowing, must I go on?”

“So he’s a freak in bed?”

“Yep, he’s always up for something extra and trying something new.”

“You got lucky.” Cheryl chuckled. “How big is he?”

“That’s for me to know and for you not to find out.”

“He must be big. You’re talking “pure magic” here.”

“Okay, Cheryl,” I laughed. “That’s enough.”

“What positions did he put you in?”

“A lot Cheryl, he had exceptional control…” I said daydreaming about the honeymoon.

“Leondra, come back to Earth.” Cheryl waved her hands in my face. “You know your wedding is all over the media?”

“Who cares. They can say what they want.”

“Anyway, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay.”

“Marcus. He’s devastated about your marriage.”

“Oh, well. You’ve been talking to him?”

“Yeah. In fact, I told him how much of an a**hole he was for doing that. So when you go to court, tell everything. Don’t be afraid.”

“Are you sure, we’re talking about your brother.”

“He is, but he should’ve known better.”

“Aren’t you gonna be there?”

“No, I can’t bear to see that happen to him.”

************************************************************************

September 13, 1985

“Wow, Michael has finally become a man.” said Marlon.

“Whatever.”

“Now that you are a man, how was it?”

“Satisfactory.”

“That’s great, ‘cause you are not easily satisfied.”

“How was she?”

I smiled. “Don’t ask me anymore questions.”

“Your smile tells it all Mike. She was good to you wasn’t she?”

“Reeeaaaalllll gooood.” I smiled.

September 19, 1985

We were almost a month removed from our honeymoon. We resumed back to our normal lives. We saw less of each other, her going back to law school, and me traveling the world. Whenever we did get together, we made the time we had special. There were times we stayed away from each other ‘cause she began to become very moody.

************************************************************************

October 29, 1985

I wasn’t feeling very well so I decided to make an appointment with a doctor. I didn’t wanna tell Michael, I didn’t want him to get worried so I told him I was going to school when I wasn’t. Doctor Gonzalez, the doctor who was there after the Marcus incident, gave me tests to figure out the problem. I wanted to get this over with Marcus’s trial was to start in two days. Soon Doctor Gonzalez returned with the results.

“Doctor Gonzalez, you have the results?” I asked worried.

“Yes, there is no problem with you…”

“Well if there is no problem, then what is it?”

“You’re two months pregnant.”

Shocked by his news, I had to hear it again. “I’m what?”

“You’re pregnant” He repeated.

I said nothing else. “Thank You Dr. Gonzalez.” I said as I walked out of the doctor’s office.

I headed straight home, I wasn’t feeling well, I was nauseous. Michael was there, he noticed something wrong with me, I lied to him.

“Baby,” He said leading me to the couch; my hand in his. “Let’s Talk” He paused.
“Is everything okay with you?”

“I’m fine Michael.”

“No you’re not, I know you well enough to know when you are not okay”

I sighed deeply. “Michael, it’s Marcus, I don’t wanna face him” I said heading to the bedroom, and setting at the edge of the bed. Michael followed.

“I’ll be there with you,” Michael said standing before me. He then kneeled down in front of me and caressed my face in his hands. “You have nothing to worry about ok?”

“Okay” My frown turned into a smile.

Michael smiled then got up from his knees to give me a kiss.

“I’m going to bed.”

“Ok, goodnight sweetie”

“Goodnight Michael”

Surely Marcus was one thing I was worried about, but being pregnant worried me even more. We had busy schedules and how would either one of us take care of the baby?

October 31, 1985

Michael and I headed straight for the courthouse. Michael consoled me and held me on the way there to keep my nerves calm. When we entered, I kinda felt scared, I saw Marcus when he took his seat.

“Hey babe!!” Marcus said blowing a kiss at me and smiling.

That infuriated me “F**k you Marcus” I said quietly.

His smile faded when he saw Michael grab my hand. The five hours were tiring, I wasn’t able to testify just yet, maybe sometime next week. I had a feeling this case was going to be short. Michael and I were the last to leave to escape media attention. Apparently, the media did know something was happening between us but they didn’t know what it was.

November 13, 1985

The prosecution’s case against Marcus was going well. The attending police had good credibility as well as Doctor Gonzalez. Now It was my turn. I was nervous, Michael tried to calm my nerves and it wasn’t helping. It was towards the end of the day, so I didn’t have to talk a lot I had to do it anyway, nervous or not. I put my right hand on the bible and promise to “Tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God.” The prosecutor then began asking me questions.

“Can you state your full name for the court please?” The prosecutor asked.

“Leondra Michele Jackson sir” I replied

“Could you please tell the court how you know Mr. Patrick?”

I let out a deep sigh. “When I was living in Boston, we dated for two years until I moved here to California.”

“And in Boston, was he very abusive towards you?”

“No, not at all. We maintained a very healthy relationship”

“How did you run into Mr. Patrick here?”

“Well, he moved here from Boston so we can continue our relationship. We wanted to keep a promise that we had in Boston.”

“And what was that promise?”

“Our promise was to get married.”

“Did you keep that promise?”

“We were engaged but, no sir, I didn’t.”

“Can you tell the court why you didn’t keep that promise?”

“He became very abusive and-” I paused, I began to sob.

“Would you like to take a break?” the prosecutor asked.

The judge interrupted. “That’s okay, we are done for the day”

I left the stand with a tissue in my hand. If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure Michael’s glare could’ve killed Marcus.

“Honey are you ok?” Michael asked

“Yeah…Let’s just get outta here”

Michael drove me home and I hardly said a word for the rest of the day. I took a shower and watched TV, I didn’t bother to eat.

“Baby, are you okay? You hardly said a word.” said Michael

“Michael, I’m fine.”

“You want me to hold you?” Michael said climbing into the bed.

“No, I’m okay”

“Come here” Michael said, ignoring my request.

I eventually cuddled up with him, he seemed to never take no for an answer.
We laid there, holding each other without saying a word. Michael then spoke up.

“Everything is gonna be okay.” said Michael, rubbing his hands on my back

“I know…”

Michael then turned to face me. I took Michael’s face in my hands.

“Michael, you have sad eyes” I said concerned.

“I know.” Michael said averting my eyes.

“Michael, are you happy?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Just asking” I paused “I just think that this marriage-”

Michael interrupted. “No, don’t think our marriage was a mistake because to me, it’s not, I love you and you should know.” He sat up. “If I have sad eyes, it’s not ‘cause I’m unhappy with you, I just feel like we’re missing something.”

“Like what?” I asked

“Like a family, you know kids.”

“It will come in due time, Michael, It just takes time. Having a family is something we’ll work on ok?”

“Ok.” he replied kissing me on the lips.

November 14, 1985

I returned to the court for day two of my testimony. I felt better except the morning sickness. I kept that from Michael, I wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.

“So Mrs. Jackson, can you please finish what you were saying yesterday?”

“Yes, can you repeat the question please?”

“Can you tell the court why you didn’t keep that promise?”

“He became very abusive mentally, and physically”

“Ok Mrs. Jackson, can you recall a time when he was mentally and physically abusive?”

“Yes, I was working for my husband then and we were scheduled to go to New York, I think the next day. And we got into this argument”

“Can you tell the court what the argument was about?”

“Umm, it was about Michael. It was about his faint he had. I stayed with him until he woke up. I guess that upset Marcus” I paused “It was then when he came to my house intoxicated”

“So the defendant was intoxicated when he entered your house?”

“Yes”

“What happened next?”

“I can’t really remember, but I do remember being struck in the face by him. I woke up with a black eye the next morning.”

“Did anyone notice the black eye?”

The defense attorney called for an objection that was sustained.

“The night Mr. Patrick disappeared, can you tell us what happened?”

“I think it was five or six pm. Marcus wanted to show me how sorry he was. He was drunk. He wanted to make love, but I refused” I paused and let out a sigh. “So we watched TV for about ten minutes. He began kissing my neck and trying to part my thighs with his hands. After I smacked him, he ran after me, I threw everything possible at him. I knew if he caught me, I was a gonner. Before getting out the door, he snatched me back in and slammed the door. I was trapped, so I headed upstairs for my room where I could lock the door until the police came. Marcus then broke his way in. I was tucked in the corner, then he picked me up and threw me on the bed.
When I attempted to get up, he punched me in the face. I was afraid to move. I watched him remove his clothes and then walked over to remove mine.” Once again I paused to hold back tears. “He then got on top of me, he only had removed, my pants and underwear. As he tried to enter me, I punched him. I was able to gain some distance so I put my underwear and pants back on. As he came out of my room, he started to chase me on the top floor. He still had the lust and desire to rape me-” Another objection was called and sustained. “As I reached the stairs the police were approaching, he knocked me down the stairs, and that’s all I remember”.

“Ok, I’m going to call a brief recess” the judge called out.

I ran towards Michael. He embraced me tightly. We were in the back of the court.

“It’s okay baby, just let it all out” Michael said, while I was crying. “You’re doing fine” He then kissed my tears away. After an hour, the testimony resumed.

“Now, police records show that the defendant made a number of phone calls to your house. Am I correct?”

“Yes.”

“Now, let’s think back to the night when you were said to be kidnapped, can you tell us what happened?”

“I really don’t know. I was in the bed and then everything went black. I do remember this foul smell though. I woke up in this car.”

“Who was driving the car?”

“Marcus”

“How can you tell?”

“He was laughing and teasing me”

“What happened after that?”

“I don’t remember what happened, between the time I got there and when I found out it was Marcus. I just remember being thrown into this dark room handcuffed by hands and feet”

“Can you describe what happened in the five months?”

“He forced me to perform oral sex on him. He raped me from behind and he beat me.”

“How were you able to escape?”

“He removed the cuffs on my feet, so he can gain better entrance.” I paused. I can see that Michael was getting furious so I shot him a look to remain quiet. “He then removed my underwear and that was when I knew it was over. He then spread my legs wide enough to gain entrance. Then when he straddled me, I was able to knee him in the groin. I got up and reached for the keys on the side of his bed and unlocked myself free from the handcuffs on my wrists. With all the strength I had left, I quickly grabbed his hands and feet and handcuffed them. I then frantically searched for a phone to call 911.”

“That’s all your honor”

“Defense you may have the floor” the judge stated.

For the next thirty minutes, the defense could get nowhere, so I was able to leave.

Michael waited ‘til we got home. “I’m really proud of you, but I didn‘t know you were engaged.”

“I was, but I have you now, and that’s fine with me.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to have sex in that position on our honeymoon?”

“Yes.”

CHAPTER 13
The Good News and The Bad News

December 18, 1985

We were at Hayvenhurst for a family gathering. I tried to keep a low profile so I stuck with Janet and La Toya. I didn’t tell them, but they knew something was up with me. I kept going to the bathroom and asking for ginger ale. When it was time for everyone to come together, I became nervous but I kept my composure, but when I stood up I almost fainted prompting Marlon to help hold me up. Michael drove me home; he hardly said a word. I couldn’t hold the secret anymore, I had to tell Michael. When we got to the driveway, Michael carried me to bed.

“What‘s going on with you? Is everything okay?” He asked concerned.

“Actually, no”

“What’s wrong?” Michael asked taking my hands in his.

“Michael,” I sighed. “I’m pregnant”

Taken aback he asked again.

“I’m pregnant Michael, we’re having a baby”

“Oh My God!!” Michael screamed “How far along are you?”

“Almost four months.”

“Oh baby I’m so happy!!!” He said as he embraced me tightly.

Soon after I told Michael the news, I got word that the court is about to reach a verdict in Marcus’s case. Michael and I rushed to the court to hear the verdict. The jury was about to read it when we got there. The foreman began reading the verdict.

“We the jury in the above entitled case find the defendant guilty…” said the foreman.

Marcus had been found guilty of all charges of kidnapping, and rape. Michael and I celebrated when we got home. We played it safe because I was pregnant. Marcus was scheduled to be sentenced in two months.

February 16, 1986

I was five months pregnant with our first child and the sickness and cramps were getting on my nerves. Michael was on the road filming a short film for Disney so I was pretty much alone. He did call and check on me though. I drove myself to hear the sentencing of Marcus. When I got there, he wore a face that made me feel sorry for him. The judge had sentenced him to prison for fourteen years. The judge allowed Marcus to say something to the court, mainly me. He turned to me.

“Leondra, I just want to say I’m sorry for the pain I caused. I still love you with all my heart. I just wanted to create a family with you.” You were my soul mate, and now you’re Michael’s.” He began to cry. “I’m so sorry, Michael deserves you. I wanted you to have our first child, now you’re sharing that with Michael” The bailiff began to escort Marcus out of the court.

“Wait!” I called out. “I have something to say to you Marcus. May I Your honor?”

“Yes.” The judge replied

“Marcus, a part of me feels sorry for you because of where you’re going. You were my first love Marcus, but I don’t know what I did to have you treat me the way you did. I loved you, you took part of my dignity away from me. Even though you did what you did, I forgive you, but I’ll never forget what you did to me. The five months I lost…” I cried “Yes I do have Michael, that is my soul mate. I wish you the best Marcus. Goodbye” I said as I walked out.

I got home and I made a call to Michael.

“Hey babe, how are you feeling?” Michael asked.

“I guess I feel okay, I went to Marcus’s sentencing.”

“How did it go?”

“It went okay, he got fourteen years.”

“That’s good…isn’t it?”

“Yes, but that’s not all”

“What else?”

“The judge allowed Marcus to speak.”

“What did he say babe?”

“He’s still in love with me Michael.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he’s still in love with me”

“You call all the s**t he did love?”

“Not to my knowledge.”

“What did you say to him?”

“I told him I feel sorry for him, and that he took away part of my dignity. He actually cried.”

“Oh really?” He scoffed “Anyway, he’ll be out of our lives, I’m still worried about you and the baby. I want to be with you so bad.

“I’m fine Michael, I never asked you how you are doing”

“I miss you but filming is going ok except my head is hurting.”

“Do you want me to fly to Florida?”

“No, I’m Fine, I have breaks.”

The media began to crowd outside the house.

“Uh-oh”

“What?”

“It’s the media”

“Just stay in the house you’ll be fine”

“Michael, I can’t, I have to go out, I need to pick up some things”

“Ok,” he said reluctantly. “Just be careful”

“Ok baby, I love you Michael”

“I love you more.” He said as we hung up.

I left the house, I had to escape through the crowd of paparazzi. I got annoyed on how they were throwing out these questions. In fact, I was annoyed they were there period.
I didn’t answer as I pushed through the crowd. I got in the car and sped off. As I was reaching the intersection a car almost ran into the side of my car, but I swerved out of the way and hit a pole. I was still conscious, but minutes later the ambulance came, and took me to the hospital. Chris was the first to arrive at the hospital. The story was all over the news.

“Are you okay?”

“No” I was crying.

I was given tests for my cramps after the crash. The doctor had arrived.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news”

“What is it then?” I said frightened. Chris took my hands in his.

“The accident has caused your baby to die, I’m sorry. We have to remove the baby immediately.”

I began to sob. Our first child…

Chris embraced me immediately. “I’m so sorry Leondra.”

“Please don’t let my husband know, I want to tell him myself.”

“Is there anybody you want me to call?”

“My mother” I replied still sobbing.

Within a couple of hours, my mother arrived.

“Are you okay baby girl?”

“No mom, I lost the baby.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” My mother said welling up. “Does Michael know?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“It’s all over the news that you were in a small accident, he may know now.” She sighed. “Thanks Chris for staying with her.”

“No problem.”

************************************************************************

I put the production of the short film on hold after I heard the news of the crash. My wife was very important, and so was our unborn child. I rushed to the hospital as soon as I could.


“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? I got here as soon as I got the news.” I asked worried.

She gave me no answer. I cupped her cheeks in my hands and she looked into my worried eyes.

“I’m sorry Michael” was all she could tell me.

“Sorry for what?”

“I’m so, so sorry”

“What are you taking about?” I asked as my arm rested on her shoulder.

“Everyone has to leave, we need to get her to the operating room.” The doctor interrupted.

“I lost the baby.” She began to wail as I buried her face in her hands.

I didn’t know what to do, I removed my hand from her shoulder and walked off. Leondra’s mother greeted me with a warm hug and from there I broke down.

“Michael, it’s okay. There will other chances.”

“How?!!” I screamed. “How the hell did this happen?!!”

“A car almost ran into the side of her car, but she swerved out of the way and hit a pole.”

“My God…I told her.” I combed my fingers through my hair out of frustration. “What the hell is he doing here?”

“He was here before I was.”

“I don’t want him here.”

“Michael, you need to calm down, Leondra needs all the support she can get.” Margaret said scathingly.

“Sorry.”

After Margaret calmed me down, we waited three hours until the baby was removed.

************************************************************************

CHAPTER 14
Second Time Around

I woke up feeling empty. I then realized that the baby was gone, and I began to cry.

“Baby it’s okay.” said Michael.

I kept my face buried in my hands, surprised I wasn’t drowning in my own tears. When I lifted up my head, Michael handed me a tissue. After two more hours, I was ready to leave. After we got home, he immediately got into his pajamas because he was so tired. After handing me another tissue he crawled into the bed. He motioned me to come and lay next to him, I did. He began rubbing my back as we cuddled.

“So, tell me what happened.” Michael urged.

“When I got off the phone with you, I went out. After I got through the paparazzi crowd, I got into the car and sped off. A car almost hit me so I swerved and hit a pole.”

“I told you to be careful.”

“I know.” I replied. “Michael I’m so sorry, I know how bad you wanted kids. Maybe-” Michael cut me off.

“Look it’s okay, we have other chances. If you think we’re not meant to be you’re wrong. We already went through a lot together and we’ll face more but you have to have faith.”

For the rest of the night we cuddled, but Michael was kinda distant. I wonder if he thought it was my fault.

March 5, 1986

After I lost the baby, I spent the last month in deep depression. Michael seemed distant still, so I began avoiding him. I immediately went to bed, while Michael was still up writing at three o’clock.

“Baby is there something wrong?” Michael asked putting his pen and pad down.

“No it’s just I can‘t sleep.” I sighed looking up at the ceiling.

“That’s not it. It’s been real hard to talk to one another. You know a relationship ain’t nothin’ without communication.”

“I know. Ever since I lost the baby, you’ve gotten distant.” I said avoiding his eyes.

He lifted my chin with his fingers to meet his eyes. “Baby, I was devastated, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m sorry if it appears to you like I’m distant, but I feel terrible too.”

“I know you do, it’s just I still know how bad you wanted to be a dad.” I began crying.

“Honey, look, we have many more chances in our future okay?” He embraced me. I said, “I know you love me and I love you.” We both began to cry together. “We’re not the only people in the world who go through ups and downs. All we have to do is talk and we can work it out.” He kissed my eyes, wiping my tears away and held me tight. “Tomorrow we’ll feel better ‘cause it’s a brand new day.”

He looked deep into my eyes. “I really love you.”

“I love you too Michael.”

Michael gave me a quick kiss and looked into my eyes again for a sign. Then he rubbed his thumb across my cheek multiple times, and gave me a deeper kiss. Michael slowly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me more close to him, while his other hand slowly made it’s way up my thigh. My breathing became shorter and faster as his hand toyed with my center.

“Take it off.” Michael demanded, with his shaft becoming larger through his pants.

“As you wish, but you take yours off too.”

After disrobing, Michael slowly lowered himself between my legs.

“Are you ready?” Michael asked momentarily fondling himself.

“Give it to me Michael.”

I pivoted my hips so that my legs were in the air, and then bent my knees while Michael entered me from a kneeling position.

“Ohh Godd..." Michael hissed. “You’re sooo warm.”

“Unh, Michael.”

He delivered slow steady thrusts ‘til I was able to match his rhythm. I put my hands around his neck as he picked up the speed. He withdrew completely a few times to tease my c**t with his shaft.

He re-entered me gently, but didn’t thrust, he pushed his shaft as much as my body would allow.

“F**k, tell daddy how you want it.” Michael grunted.

I moaned loudly. “Sssslllooowwww, and ddddeeeeeeeeeeeep baby.”

He did as I asked until he withdrew and turned me to my side with my upper leg against his shoulder, and entered me again using a kneeling position. He squeezed my thighs as he was coming close to his orgasm.

“You like that don't you? I know you like it when I do that.” Michael moaned slowing down.

“Oh God, yeah.” I whimpered.

He withdrew one more time to lie down and entered me again. We spent the rest of the time in the side to side position. He buried his face in my neck, delivering more kisses. Minutes later, we both reached our peaks. As soon as he withdrew, he pulled me close to him.

“You are incredible.” Michael said catching his breath. “How did you like it?”

“Mind blowing.”

“I love you.” he said rubbing my back.

“I love you too.” I replied.


March 8, 1986

Michael was back in Florida when he called the house. He seemed happy, and he was on the way home.

“Be undressed by the time I get home.” he said seductively. “I’ll be home in a few hours.”

“Why?” I asked perplexed.

“No questions, just get undressed.”

I did as I was told, I felt strange and excited at the same time. When he came in, he came straight towards our room, and slammed the door shut. I was waiting in our room, naked as he wished. When he entered the room, he didn’t say anything he just walked over to me and he began kissing deeply. I broke the kiss.

“Michael!!!!” I shouted.

“I want you. I want to make love to you so bad.” He continued planting kisses.

His kiss got deeper and I began losing feeling in my legs, so he picked me up so my legs were wrapped firmly around his waist. He placed me on the dresser as he kissed me. I attempted to break off the kiss multiple times.

“Don’t tease me…” Michael said with a look of lust and frustration.

He then bit his lip as an attempt for me to surrender to his demands; he won. I became intoxicated with desire. He discarded his clothes as he continued to kiss me. His big hands were busy rubbing his thumbs on my erect nipples causing me to moan in his mouth. He broke the kiss.

“Let’s have a girl.” He said looking deep into my eyes.

“Whatever you say baby.” I responded. “You can have me any way you want.”

He then carried me over to the bed where, he removed his boxers and straddled me.

“I love you Michael” I said before he entered me.

“I love you more.” He told me as his shaft slowly entered me.

We made love like we never did before. For hours, we danced between the sheets. He hit every spot, making him and I moan deafeningly.

As he went faster and deeper, I grabbed the sheets so tight, that I left a hole in them. Michael screamed as he let out his powerful orgasm. I came soon thereafter, he stayed inside of me.

“Michael?” Michael began to move. “Can you stay still? You’re making me excited all over again.” I said groaning.

“You mean like this?” He said as he began thrusting slowly.

I hissed out a shaky “Yes.” Before I knew it, we were at it again. We reached cloud nine before we finally drifted off to sleep.

March 9, 1986

When I woke up, Michael was getting dressed.

“Leaving so soon?” I asked

“Yeah”

“Where are you going?”

“To the dance studio.”

“I’m surprised you still have enough energy left after last night.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I do. I wanted more of you, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I woulda went for it, but maybe later ok?” I said getting up from the bed. I planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Okay” he said rubbing his thumb across my bottom lip.

************************************************************************

I spent three hours at the studio to wear off any sexual energy I had left. She made me feel so comfortable. The color on my skin was completely different from how it used to be, but she didn’t care. The press did though. I was already in the tabloids for apparently sleeping in what they called a hyperbaric chamber. I was sleeping in a bed.
I felt bad about our unborn son, but I know that there will be kids soon. I still had energy, so I went home to wear off the rest.

************************************************************************

May 4, 1986

I was two months pregnant and I was very alert about the media. As I was heading to the store, I ran into Chris.

“Hello”

“Hi” Chris answered.

“You know, I never got to thank you being there for me.”

“Hey, it’s no problem.”

“Thank you. Well, Chris, I’ll see you around” I said hugging him.

“Same here, be careful.” he said walking off.

When I reached the store, there was something that pissed me off. I saw a National Enquirer with the title: Is Jacko Married? Details inside. Nothing was fictitious but the title bothered me. Michael was right, we were in trouble, media-wise. The media didn’t know I was expecting though. When I came home, I sat next to Michael and we cuddled on the couch, and watched TV.

December 15, 1986

I was a week overdue and I was ready for this baby to come out. When I went to the bathroom, my water finally broke. I was calm, but I called 911 to get me to the hospital, they came within minutes and I was at the hospital in minutes. I informed the doctors to call my mother and my husband. Michael was at the studio, but he arrived in half an hour and so did my mom.
After ten minutes, I began having contractions. Michael took my hand, and stroked my face.

“Michael, I’m scared” I said holding his hand.

“Baby listen, everything is gonna be ok. I’ll be right here.”

“And I’m here too” my mother added.

Every time I attempted to curse, Michael cut me off with other words. Then I had another contraction.

“YOU DID THIS TO ME Michael!!!!”

“Yeah, Isn’t it great?” he chuckled.

I giggled, but another contraction caused me to advise Michael, “Don’t be such a smart a**.” Within ten hours, I began to deliver my baby.

“Push!!!” Michael encouraged me. “You can do it!!”

“I can’t!!!!”

“Yes you can!!! Now push!!!!”

I pushed as hard as I can, but I yelled so hard when the shoulders came out. I squeezed Michael’s hand as hard as I could. I know it hurt him, but he didn’t seem to mind. My mother was also there consoling me as I went through this painful experience. I was able to push out almost the rest of the baby.

“I can’t do it!!!”

“Yes you can!!!” screamed Michael. “Just one more push.”

I pushed one more time, and our baby had fully entered the world.

“Congratulations,” said the doctor. “It’s a wonderful baby girl”

Michael was so ecstatic, even after he cut the umbilical cord.

“We did it” cried Michael.

“Yes,” I said hyperventilating. “Yes we did”

Within minutes I was sleep, with Michael and my mother beside me. I woke up with Michael, my mother, and my baby girl. Michael then let me hold the baby when the doctor came in.

“Hi there…” I said to the baby as she stared at me. “I’m so glad you’re here”

“Baby,” Michael called “We need a name” he said “How about we name her after your mom?”

“Sorry mom but no, what about Alesia?”

“Uh-uh” said Michael.

“Mom, do you have any ideas?” I asked

“Well,” she paused “ How about we name her after the both of you?” she said. “Michele is Leondra’s middle name and it is also the female name for Michael.” mom suggested.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Michael.

I looked back at our baby. “Hello Michele…Michele Kaye Jackson” I said.

“I like that” said Michael. “Michele Kaye Jackson” Michael began welling up.

By that time, we were joined by Katherine, Rebbie, Janet and La Toya. They all got the chance to see Michele. After three hours, everyone left but me and Michael. Michele fell asleep on my chest until I fell asleep again. By morning I was able to leave the hospital with my new baby Michele, and Michael. We were proud parents.

CHAPTER 15
The Tour

December 16, 1986

Michael and I were up at the constant crying of Michele.

“You know what baby, go to bed, I’ll handle it.” Michael insisted.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yeah” He answered kissing me on the lips.

I hated to leave him alone with the baby, so eventually I kept checking on him. I found him on the couch, stretched out with Michele laying on his chest, sleeping. I gently picked Michele up so she wouldn’t wake up and put her in her crib. Afterwards, I woke Michael and invited him to come back to bed so he could sleep.

December 18, 1986

I had to go to school the next morning, so Michael was pretty much left alone with the baby. When I returned home, I found my mother, Katherine, La Toya, Rebbie and Janet taking turns holding Michele, so she could fall asleep. Everyone was about to get in an argument. I was exhausted, but I didn’t want to seem like a neglectful mother so I took the baby from them and fortunately, I was able to rock her to sleep.

“Where’s Michael?” I asked.

“Oh, he had to meet with Quincy about his next album”

“Ok” I said, putting Michele into her crib.

I was kinda furious because he didn’t tell me about the meeting, maybe he forgot, he had a long night with our daughter. Michael then entered, everyone was silent.

“Why didn’t you tell me where you were goin’?” I asked

“Well, I guess that’s our cue, see ya Mike” Janet said as everyone left behind her.

“I’m sorry, it was a last minute thing.”

“Please let me know next time.”

“I didn’t come home to listen to you nag me to death” He said raising his voice. He quickly remembered our daughter was in our bedroom sleeping in her crib so he lowered his voice. “I going to bed”

I didn’t bother arguing with him because I was as drowsy as he was. As soon as I laid down, Michele began to cry.

“Oh, God, here we go.” I said getting up.

“I’ll do it” Michael recommended.

“No Michael, I’ll do it.”

“Let’s do it together” Michael said, trying to avoid an argument.

It turned out that she had an accident. So we both changed her diapers, and we put her to sleep in our bed.

“She’s beautiful.”

“We did it.” Michael replied.

December 19, 1986

I left Michael at home with Michele so I could go to school. I returned home to see Michael, rocking Michele to sleep with a lullaby. I then joined in with the lullaby.

“Wow” Michael whispered. “I didn’t know you could sing like that”

“I do”

“Maybe we could do a duet on my album” Michael said, raising his eyebrows.

“The gesture is flattering, but I don’t think so.” I responded.

“No, just give it some thought, Please?”

“Oh, okay.”

January 5, 1987

Our baby was almost one month old, and Michael was set to start recording today. I was left alone with Michele. She was quiet most of day until she had her accidents. I guess me and Michael were natural born parents. The only time she would cry was when she was hungry or had an accident. She was like me when I was a baby, very observant.

January 11, 1987


Michael was gone when I got a call from his brother Jackie. His wife had filed for divorced…again.

“Hello Leondra, is Michael there?”

“No, Jackie. Not now, but he will be back soon.”

“Can I talk to you?”

“Sure.”

“Can I come over?”

“Sure.”

When Jackie arrived, he greeted me with a warm hug, and gave Michele a kiss on the forehead.

“Your daughter is beautiful.”

“Thank you Jackie. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I know you give good advice, so I thought I could talk to you. I really don’t want to go through this.”

“Jackie, I’m gonna be frank here, but she was afraid of you…you were abusive to her.” I slid my hands in his. “Jackie, I know it hurts, but it only takes that one time, and that’s it.”

“I know, I’m really sorry that I did it.”

“You’re an extremely emotional person, Jackie. You need to learn how to control it. I had told Michael the same thing a few times before.”

“He hasn’t put his hands on you, though. Has he?”

“No, I wouldn’t be here if he did. He just gets upset over little things sometimes.”

“She wants a restraining order put on me. How am I supposed to see my kids?”

“Don’t worry Jackie. If it does go that far, then Michael and I will make sure that you see Siggy and Brandi.”

Michele started to cry. Jackie picked her up and rocked her back to sleep with a lullaby.

“My God, all the men in the family are good with kids.”

“We get it from Mother. The strength comes from Joseph.” he chuckled lightly.

“I see that. But anyway Jackie the best thing I could tell you now is follow through with the divorce, ‘cause it may keep you from getting into more trouble.”

Then as Jackie was about to leave, Michael came in. He was a little furious.

“Michael, what’s the matter Baby brother?”

“I got a speeding ticket.” He replied.

“Well Michael, I don’t know what to tell you.” I laughed.

“What are you laughing at?” he looked at me with an intense stare.

“See, that’s not what I taught you before. I never told you to speed.” I continued to laugh. Jackie began to laugh as well.

“That is really not funny. What are you doing here anyway Jackie?”

“Getting advice from your wife.”

“What kind?”

“Enid is going through with the divorce and wants a restraining order.”

“Wow,” Michael said wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry we can handle that. We got through everything else.”

“Yeah, except you guys need to control your tempers.” I said taking Michael’s arm from my shoulder and walking away.

“I’ll deal with you in a minute.” Michael replied and slapping my behind.

After Jackie left, Michael entered the room and laid down on his stomach, resting his elbows on the bed.

“Why couldn’t he just talk to mother?”

“Michael, your mother is a very wise person, but she needs a break from the stress. She’s gone through enough.”

“Yeah, where’s Michele?”

“In her crib, sleeping. She was fussy earlier, until your brother sung her a lullaby back to sleep.”

Michael gave me a kiss that had very little emotion in it.

“Let’s go to the beach.”

“Michael it’s late, and I don’t want you getting’ another speeding ticket.”

“Come on.” He insisted.

“Okay, Michael.”

We took Michele down to the beach with us and we laid a towel on the ground. Michele was sleeping and Michael was resting his head on my lap. After half an hour we went back home. Michael didn’t fall asleep right away, he had a fixated glare on my face.

“Michael, are you gonna go to sleep?”

“I just wanted to lay next to you for awhile.” He sighed. “You look so beautiful tonight. Your Eyes Are So Lovely.” He leaned over and kissed me. “Your Mouth Is So Sweet.” His hands caressed my face. “A lot of people misunderstand me. That's because they don't know me at all.”

“I know Michael.”

“I just want to touch you, and hold you. I need you…God I need you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too Michael.”

“Baby?”

“Yes?”

“Make love to me.”

************************************************************************

January 12, 1987

I woke up with Leondra sitting in the rocking chair with our sleeping beauty, Michele. My life couldn’t feel any more complete, although I still want more children. I’m beginning to feel like this house is becoming a little too small, especially if we want to make our family bigger. I found a larger house. I was originally called Sycamore Valley Ranch. I plan on renaming it, I don’t know what, but it will come to me.

July 7, 1987

I took Leondra to the ranch that I wanted us to move in next year. I never had a childhood so I wanted to put a zoo, and an amusement park there.

“Baby, can you call La Toya to baby-sit? I want to take you somewhere special”

“Ok” she sounded puzzled.

It took a three hour ride to the ranch where we were going. As soon as we arrived, Leondra’s eyes widened.

“Honey, its beautiful!!!, I love it”

“I want us to move here in the next year, when its finished.”

“Wow, I would like it here”

“Do you want a tour?”

“Sure”

I took Leondra by the hand, and I lead her on the tour of our possible new house. It took a few hours ‘cause it was a big house, but I rushed it, I wanted to get back home to our daughter.


August 5, 1987

I was scheduled to start filming my short film for “Bad”. I wasn’t really in the mood, especially ‘cause of the argument Leondra and I had last night about not wanting me to go on tour. As we were on break, Leondra stopped by with Michele to see the filming.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“Not now Michael, I just brought Michele by because I know she wants to see you before you go on tour.” she replied, holding Michele.

“Let me have her…” I suggested. Holding the baby, I kept on with the conversation. “Look babe, I have no other choice, I’m sorry.”

“Then until you figure this out, no more kids…”

I handed Michele over to my makeup artist, Karen Faye, so I could talk to Leondra alone without the baby being disturbed.

“Baby, I want what you want, I’m not gonna argue with you anymore.”

“I know Michael, that what you want is more kids, but I don’t wanna be a single mom until you come off tour. The kids won’t know who you are.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and gave her a quick kiss. “I know, we’ll talk about it later…” I said giving her another kiss before walking off to resume filming.


September 4, 1987

My album “Bad” was doing great on the charts, but not as good as Thriller. I was home upset about what people said about me not wanting to be black.

“Baby, its okay, it doesn’t matter what people think.”

“I’m tired of it though, the lies…”

“Look Michael, everyone has something to say, you’re doing something good.”

As Leondra was trying to console me, the baby began to cry. Michele had no accident and she wasn’t hungry. When we looked closer, she had a tooth growing in her mouth.

September 12, 1987

I was in Tokyo, about to start off my solo tour. I was pacing in my hotel room when I got a call from Leondra.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m a little nervous, this is my first tour alone.”

“Don’t freak out, you’ll do fine.”

“Are you ever going to come with me?”

“Michael I-”

“Are you?!”

“I’ll see what I can do. What about Michele?”

“I don’t want her constantly traveling, we can leave her with my mother, she loves Michele.”

“Well that settles that problem, but what about school?”

“You need a break.”

September 15, 1987

For two months, Leondra and I were trying to get Michele to walk and nothing worked. When we had her on the baby walker, she decided to let go of the walker and headed straight towards us, we were so happy.

November 14, 1987

I spent two months trying to get Leondra to go on tour with me, but she didn’t want to. I kept begging her until she agreed to at least two weeks. Rebbie agreed to take care of Michele so Leondra and I could spend some time alone. Besides it gave Austin, my two year old nephew someone to play with. She was due here any moment, and I couldn’t wait to see her. When she arrived, I didn’t give her a chance to relax. We made love for four hours straight.

November 17, 1987

I wanted to go to bed early, so I could be ready for tomorrow, but I did something else instead…

“Baby?”

“Yes, Michael?”

“Let’s do some role playing…”

“Okay, what do you want?”

“You brought tight shorts, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I could be the professor, and you the naughty student.”

“Okay, Let me get dressed, then.” She replied, rubbing her hand under my chin.

I set up the table as a desk, so it could look like a teacher-student scene. Then after twenty minutes, Leondra came out of the bathroom, and then, we began.

“Leondra?”

“Yes, Mr. Jackson?”

“I wanted to talk to you about your behavior in class.”

“What about it?”

“You’re disrupting the other students.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“You are failing my class.”

“Can I have some type of extra credit?”

“What do you have in mind?”

She came over around the table as I stood up and pushed me up against the wall. I saw her hands slowly move down to my belt buckle.

“You like surprises Professor?”

I looked back up at her as she began unzipping my pants and I rested the back of my head against the wall. Then, she slipped her hands in my boxers. My breathing became faster and more shallow.

“Oh yeah,” I groaned as her hand began gently stroking my shaft. “Big surprises, huge surprises.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Do you like the way that feels?” she asked as her thumb stroked the top of my head with her thumb.

I stared at her intensely as I waited for her next move. She stopped fondling me and began to strip down to her panties only.

“Now, professor,” she said laying back on the bed. “Show me what you got.”

I went toward her and mounted myself on top of her. I sucked on both of her nipples, one by one. I looked at her, waiting for her eyes to give me an answer. She moaned loudly as my tongue traced circles around her navel. She pulled my face up to her and we began kissing. I broke off the kiss as Leondra helped me remove my boxers and shirt. I kneeled in front of her and she rubbed her hands all over my chest. I removed her hands from my chest and moved further down south to kiss her inner thighs. Afterwards, I removed her panties with my teeth and played with her c**t by rubbing my head on it.

“I want you so bad – can you feel how much?” she moaned.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, professor, give it to me.”

I entered her with so much force that she screamed.

“Are you okay?” I began to thrust slow and deep.

“Yeah, professor. Don’t stop. Give me all you got.” she bit her lip.

I continued to gyrate my hips, that made her moan more, and more. After an hour, before I could come, I rolled over so that she was on top.

“Your turn. Ride me hard.” I requested.

Before I positioned myself inside of her, we grinded and moaned simultaneously.
Then after, she put us into the Asian Cowgirl position. We gave each other thrusts ‘til she pressed down on my hips to keep me from moving. As time grew near to my orgasm, I rolled her over and finished her off in the cowboy position.

“Are gonna be a good girl?” I moaned, delivering the last few thrusts with beads of sweat dripping from my forehead.

“Oh,” she whimpered. “Yeah.” she hissed.

I delivered the last thrusts and we came together. I collapsed on her and gave her a few deep kisses before withdrawing from her.

“Are you gonna be ready for tomorrow?” Leondra asked, catching her breath.

“I think so.” I replied, pulling her close.


November 20, 1987

Leondra and I were in Sydney, Australia for the tour. It was minutes before the show when my crew had our ritual, a warm up and prayer. After the prayer and warm up, I looked over at Leondra and she was smiling at me. I was always the last to go on stage, so I went over to Leondra who was sitting on the table. I took both of her hands in mine.

“Good luck baby.” she said, giving me a kiss on the lips.

“Thank you.”

“I love you Michael”

“I love you more” I replied, rubbing my thumb across her lips.

I gave her a deeper kiss. I didn’t want to break it, so Leondra had to break the kiss.

“Baby, save your energy for your performance. You got two days after tonight. I will get another private encore from you tomorrow.” She said, biting her bottom lip.

I gave her another kiss before going on stage.

************************************************************************

November 22, 1987

I spent most of the day touring Australia with Michael. When we returned to the hotel, I told Michael to get undressed except to leave his boxers on. For an hour, I gave Michael a massage, and he returned the favor. I had something else in store. I told Michael to lay back on the bed. Then, I went to the refrigerator, got the whipped cream and sprayed it on his stomach.
I crawled on top on Michael and began sucking the whipped cream on his stomach. He clearly was excited. After that, we began kissing deeply. With me still on top, I broke the kiss and I began kissing him on his neck, collarbone, and then his hard nipples. He began to moan and his excitement began to outgrow his boxers.
I slowly began to remove the boxers, and he whimpered as the fabric of his boxers rubbed against his enlarged shaft. I took his shaft in my hands and started moving them up and down. It drove him crazy. Within a few minutes, he begged and pleaded for me to pick up the pace, teasing him, I still did it slow. He then grabbed a hold of my wrists and helped me move my hands faster until he reached his peak.
He then rolled me over so that he was on top. He pinned my wrists down on both sides of my head, and without warning he entered me fast. He groaned loudly as the whole lovemaking was a slow and deep process. Before I can reach my peak, he pulled out completely. He then grabbed the whipped cream and did the same thing as I had done to him earlier. He stopped.

“Michael,” I whined. “Don’t stop.”

He bit his lip and entered me again, this time slowly. I felt my toes curl and my nails digging in his back. We both came at the same time.

November 23, 1987

I was scheduled to head back home today. I was pretty worn out from the traveling and constant love making, but I didn’t wanna leave Michael again. As I was packing, Michael came back from getting food and sat on the bed.

“I gonna miss you Michael. Funny how time flies when you're having fun. I don't know where it all went. Time passed us by just when it seemed the fun began ”

“Why do you have to go? You should be right with me babe, you shouldn't go nowhere.” He got up. “Don't don't nowhere baby, please don't go, don't go.”

“Babe, you’ll be home in two weeks, and I gotta get back to Michele.”

“Let’s go back in two weeks together.”

“I can’t Michael.” I said grabbing my bags and heading for the door.

Michael blocked the door. “Michael, I really need to go.” I said, dropping my bags.
Michael boxed me in a corner. “I really have to go.” I chuckled lightly.

Michael started sucking on my neck. “Stop, stop.” I laughed.

He broke the kiss on my neck and took my hand and slowly lifted up in front of his face. Then, he put my index finger in his mouth and sucked on it. After taking my finger out of his mouth, he led my hand down to his chest and then slowly down to his shaft. When I looked back up to his face, I knew what he wanted.

“One more time?”

He nodded. "I love the way your body feels against my skin. I wanna be inside of you…”

“But my plane…”

“I’ll get you a private jet.”

He let me out of the corner. “Strip for me, honey. Slow. I want to savor every inch of you.” He commanded seductively.

After completely undressing, I laid myself on the bed. "Get over here big boy."

Eventually, I missed my plane, and had to travel by private jet.

CHAPTER 16

Infidelities and The Second Delivery

December 12, 1987

I was pregnant with Michael’s next child and I missed him because he was on tour in Japan, so I gave his hotel room a call.

“Hello”

“Hi, Michael. How is everything?”

“I’m bored and I miss you and Michele.”

“Have you found something to do? Like shopping for toys? I know you did.”

“Yeah actually I did and I picked up something for Michele, and a few orphanages.”

“That’s sweet Michael.”

“Yeah. So how are my two favorite women?”

“We’re fine except Michele misses her dad.”

“I know she does. Daddy misses her too. Are you two safe?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Watchu got on?”

“Your favorite.”

“The red silk gown?”

“You got it.”

He hissed.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I just got a little excited.”

“I think you know how to handle that one.”

“Oh yeah.” He moaned. “I know your body’s calling me.”

“It is, I want you Michael.” I moaned.

“I want you too…” he groaned.

“Be a good boy and finish yourself off, I’ll be waiting.”

For the next five minutes, I listened to Michael reach his peak over the phone.

“That’s a good boy, feeling better?”

“Yeah.” he said breathlessly. “I wish it was you.”

March 1, 1988

Michele was fussy and whiny so I took her to the beach at night. The sounds of the waves were so enchanting, but they couldn’t get Michele to sleep.

“Beautiful night isn’t it?”

“Chris? What are you doing here so late at night?”

“Taking in the scenery. The best time to be at the beach is at night. Why are you here?”

“I was hoping the sound of the waves could put her to sleep.”

“And they didn’t?”

“I had to sing her to sleep. I’m actually headed back to the house.”

“How did you get here?”

“Walked. It’s safer away from the paps at night.”

“You need a ride?”

“I would like that.”

************************************************************************

March 1, 1988

It was the afternoon and there was a knock on my door.

“Yes, who is it?”

“It’s me Tatiana, Michael.”

“Come in.”

“I wanted to see how your doing. I know you miss your wife, and I was wondering if I could do anything for you.”

“No. I’m okay.” She walked over to the bed and unzip my pants. “ Tatiana, I don’t think-”

“Shh. Relax Michael. I’m gonna make you feel better.”

I groaned out of pleasure as she rocked her hips. I kept my hands from touching her body until she took my right hand and rubbed it on her chest.

“Oh, God.” I moaned. “Leondra.”

She stopped rocking her hips. “I’m not your wife.” She got off of me.

“I never shoulda slept with you…my wife is never gonna forgive me for this.”


March 2, 1988

I had a free day before performing, so I stayed in my hotel room. I was worn out. I decided to call Leondra.

“Baby, who’s this Sheryl Crow and are you having her child?”

“Leondra, relax.” I sighed. “I’m too tired to deal with this. You know it’s just tabloid bulls**t.”

“Can you give me answer?”

“She’s one of my backup singers okay?! It’s no big deal.” I groaned. “I really feel that you don’t trust me…”

“Sorry Michael, you know I do.”

“You don’t. Don’t believe everything you hear. The only place where my penis has been is in my pants or in you. Got it?”

“What’s with the attitude?”

“I’m just exhausted and I’m ready to end this damn tour so I can come home. How’s Michele?”

“Same as always. Talking, crying, whining. I took her to the beach last night and tried to let the waves sing her to sleep.”

************************************************************************

March 5, 1988

I was at home feeding Michele when I got a phone call.

“I f**ked your husband. He was good.”

“Who is this?” I was holding my tongue from cursing in front of my daughter.

There was a dial tone on the other end. When I tried to call Michael, there was no answer. I was furious.


March 6, 1988

I was hounded by the press when the newspaper revealed that Michael was having an affair with one of his dancers. Michael was in New York last night and she was kicked off the tour ‘cause of that. I saw the picture and I was devastated about how he had his hand on her hip and they were kissing.
I never told Michael about the pregnancy. I thought about it, but I didn‘t. I found out a week ago. We were due to move in two months, but I didn’t want to move in with a man who was unfaithful to me. Michael was stopping by to see both Michele and I. I didn’t want to be home, so I called Janet to take care of Michele, I needed some space.
Apparently, Janet told Michael I was at the beach. He planted a kiss on my cheek like nothing happened.

“Hey, babe” Michael said merrily. “I missed you.”

“Yeah” I said sarcastically.

“Is everything okay?”

I sighed. “Do you love me Michael?”

“Yes, what makes you think that I don’t?” He said putting his arm around me.

I pushed his arm off. “This, Michael” I said shoving him the front page of the article on his chest.

“Oh, that was nothing, I would never do anything to hurt you.”

I left him at the beach, I wasn’t hearing it. I was stressed because of the pregnancy and Michael’s infidelity added more. He had to leave without making amends. I ran into Chris again, he noticed that I was upset, so he tried to soothe me.

“Are you okay?” Chris asked.

“No Chris, I’m not”

“I’m sorry about your husband”

“I’m sorry too”

“Do you need a hug?” he asked reassuringly

“I would like that.”

We embraced for a while. After that we stayed in close contact.

May 6, 1988

Michael returned home late at night to visit and maybe to explain things. I didn’t want to hear it from him. I left to the beach before he could get here, I needed time to myself. Eventually, yet again, he found me.

“Oh God, what do you want?” I asked, annoyed of his presence.

“I wanna talk.”

“Michael there is nothing to talk about. I didn’t have to hear it from the media, I heard it from someone else.”

“Who?”

“What? Are you guilty because someone was being honest with me and you weren’t?” He remained silent. “I thought so.”

I pulled my wedding ring off, and slammed it on his chest. “Here, I don’t need it.” I walked off.

“Wait” Michael commanded. I kept walking. “I said wait!!!” He grabbed my arm.

“Let go of me Michael!!!” He kept the strong hold. “I said Let go!!!!” I screamed swinging my free arm. My free hand hit him across the face.

He finally let go of my arm to rub the left side of his face. I walked off. Then he grabbed both of my arms. “Don’t you ever do that again. Do you hear me?!”

“I don’t need this Michael, and I don’t need you!! I’m leaving.”

“No, I’ll leave.” he said storming off.

May 15, 1988

I was at home and haven’t seen Michael in days. I went to my mother’s house with Michele.

“Baby girl, you two are always going to be linked together.”

“I know. Why didn’t I just listen to you?”

“Your having his second child. You might as well be strong for your children.”

“I’m stuck.”

“Yes you are, and as a matter of fact you should try and work things out before the new one gets here.”

“I think I want a divorce.”

“No, you should talk. Speaking of your husband, he called before you got here. What happened that night?”

“Ma, I didn’t want to hear his excuse, so I tried to leave and he grabbed me by my arm and I smacked him.”

“Oh, okay, but you still should talk to him.”

“Why do I have to be the one? He cheated on me!!”

“I’m not gonna argue with you. Go to Katherine’s and straighten this out with your husband.”

“No, I don’t think so. I didn’t cause this problem, he did.”

Soon, the doorbell rang. “Who is it?” My mother asked.

“It’s me Michael.”

My mother let him in. “I see you two have a lot to talk about. I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Is there a reason why you called my mother?”

“Yeah, to check on you.”

“Michael, I’m an adult, I can take care of myself.” I clutched my stomach ‘cause of cramps.

Are you okay?” Michael asked, worried.

“Yeah, just cramps.”

“Look baby, I’m sorry about what I did, I really am. I just miss you and Michele when I’m on the road.”

“Michael, you should know better, you wouldn’t like it of I was with another man would you?” I asked calmly.

I held my stomach tightly.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” Michael asked.

My eyes moved from the floor to his eyes.

“Are you pregnant again?”

I nodded.

“How many months?”

“Six.”

“Well why didn’t you call me?”

“Well,” I said sarcastically “I just found out, and if you didn’t spend all that time with your new girlfriend, you would’ve known.

Michael rolled his eyes.

“Michael, I want a divorce.”

“No, you and Michele are all I got.” he began to tear up.

“You have your family.”

“I know, but I don’t wanna deal with them. Let‘s go home so we can talk it out.”

“Michael, it’s over. I’m through with this.”

“Let’s go home, let me explain.”

I tried to take Michele, but my mother suggested that she stay over if we were gonna go home and talk. Michael drove us and I didn’t say a word to him. When we got home, he took me by the hand and led me to the room.

“You were gonna explain?”

“It wasn’t what you think”

“Then why did she tell me that she f**ked you and that you were good?”

“What?”

“Answer me Michael!! Did you sleep with her?”

He looked down. “Yes, I’m sorry. But if it means anything. I do remember calling out you name.”

I scoffed. “I really don’t need this stress Michael.” I began to cry.

He walked over to me and embraced me. “I’m really sorry.” he planted a kiss on my cheek.

“Get away from me Michael.” I started pounding on his chest. “Why would you do this to me? Couldn’t you just wait ten years like your brothers?”

“My brothers are not part of this.”

“No you’re right. You’re just like your father.” I got up and walked away.


May 16, 1988

I woke up devastated, my husband cheated on me. I didn’t want to be near him, so I got in the shower and headed to my mother’s house to pick up Michele.

“How was she?”

“She was quiet. Like you were when you were a baby.” She sighed. “Did you work things out with Michael?”

“No, but he did admit that he cheated on me.”

“With just her?”

“Yes. She called my house that day. I told Frank to take her off the tour.”

“That should keep him away.”

“Anyway mom, thanks for taking care of Michele.”

We exchanged hugs and I left. When I got home, Michael was there.

“Cheryl called.”

“What did she want?”

“She wanted to see how you were doing. You told her you were pregnant, but you didn’t tell me.”

“So what Michael. If you kept your d**k in your pants, then I woulda told you Joseph.” I walked away.

After today, I didn’t see Michael, he went back on tour. I was with Janet when I heard Michele say her first word.

“You know it’s a shame that Mike isn’t here to hear Michele say her first word.” said Janet.

“Oh well.”

“Are you and Mike still not speaking?”

“Nope. Ever since I called him by his middle name, we haven’t spoken.”

“He takes that to heart. He doesn’t like being told that he’s like Joe.”

“That’s how he acted. Let’s not talk about that anymore. It’s your birthday.”

The phone rang. “Hey Mike.”

I didn’t hear what Michael said, I only got Janet’s side of the conversation. “Thank you. Michele said her first word.” She paused. “Yes she’s here.” she looked at me. “Michael wants to talk to you, Leondra.”

“I don’t wanna talk to him.”

“Mike, she’s still mad.” she paused. “Yeah, but Mike that was low what you did. She loves you Michael.”


August 20, 1988

We moved into Michael renamed Neverland Valley Ranch and I had graduated from Law school. My water broke again. This time my mother was there to get me to the hospital. We were unaware about the gender of our next child. Michele did travel with us, she began to cry for me because she didn’t know what was going on. In two hours, we were joined by Michael, and his mother.

“I don’t want him here!” I screamed.

“Baby,-”

“I’m not your baby! Leave Michael.”

“Now baby girl,” my mother interrupted. “This is his child too.”

“Ok mom.” I was in no mood to argue with her.

We went through that stage of blame again.

“Michael, this is all your fault.”

“It just keeps getting better and better doesn’t it?”

His smart a** comment only made me madder. “Shut up Michael”

In seventy two hours Michael and I delivered a healthy baby boy. We named him Michael Joseph Jackson jr.

I requested that my mother bring in Michele so she can see her new baby brother.

“Michele, this is your new baby brother, Michael.” I said slightly dazed.

Michele waddled over to touch Junior. She turned to me and gave a big smile. My mother then told the four of us to scoot in together so she can snap a picture. I gave a fake smile.

CHAPTER 17
Love Confusion And Junior's Birthday Mishap

August 21, 1988

I was up with Michele ‘cause she didn’t wanna go to sleep and Junior was constantly crying. Michael was performing in West Germany. We still haven’t spoke, but he loves his son. Chris came over and decided to give me a hand.

“Your son looks like Michael.”

“I know Chris.”

“How are you doing?”

“I haven’t spoken to Michael at all. The last thing I said to him was to leave the hospital room when I was delivering Junior.”

“Do you ever think about how that’s gonna affect your two kids?”

“You know Chris, I have.”

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

“It takes time, you know? I’ve given him two children and then he cheats.”

The phone rang, it was Cheryl. She invited me over to hear a voice message. Chris drove me over and I left the kids with the nanny. What I heard was a little disturbing.

“Hello, Cheryl, it’s me Marcus. I was calling to see how everything was with you…and Leondra.” He paused. “I heard about the affair, and I was wondering if she was okay. I still love her, with all my heart. Anyway I will call you later. Love you Cheryl.”

I looked at Cheryl in shock. He still loved me after all the things he put me through.

“Cheryl, what? He won’t leave me alone will he?”

“I guess not, I think he’s gone crazy.”

“Nah, he was crazy when I met him.”

“Yeah, although he’s crazy, I still miss him. How ‘bout you and Michael?”

“We’re still not talking to each other and he’s in Germany.”

“It’s been eight months, are you gonna let a one night stand ruin you two?” I couldn’t give her an answer. “You need to fix that.”

“Well, I can’t now. “

“I heard that he called out your name during that. Am I right?”

I smirked. “Yeah.”

“You got him hooked.” She laughed. “Seriously though, you two were meant to be. You two have two beautiful kids. Set an example for them. I know he loves you.”

December 28, 1988

I was in bed awake when Michael walked in. I faked like I was sleeping. After ten minutes, I heard Michael sit on the bed and he let out a deep sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

“You’re awake?”

“Yes.” I turned to face him sitting up.

“I was thinking about us babe.” he said laying down.

“What about us?”

“You know I love you. I need you.” He sighed. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you.” he put his hand on my cheek.

I took his hand off my cheek, and turned my back to him. “Hold me Michael.”

He turned off the light and put his arm around my waist. I felt his chin resting on my shoulder. I turned my face to look at him, but I couldn’t see his face, only his grin. I reached on my side of the bed and turned the light back on. We resumed the previous position.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I can’t see your face, only your smile.”

He grinned again. I smiled lightly. His smile faded first as he looked at my lips, then back up to my eyes. I turned my body to face him, and he stroked my cheek with his hand. He gave my lips one more look and we slowly drew our faces in for a kiss that we haven’t received in eight months. I felt his nails dig into my hips that made me quiver then he broke the kiss. His lips traveled to neck, and he ravenously sucked on my neck making me moan.

“You’re everything to me.” Michael said breaking the lip lock on my neck.

Michael placed me on my back, straddled me and continued to kiss my neck.

“Michael, I’m not ready for that yet.”

He bit his lip and deeply sighed. “Why not? Are you still holding that against me?”

I shot him a look, got up and left. Michael found me.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Baby, look at me.” Michael commanded.

I looked into his eyes. “I just can’t right now Michael.”

He rubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I don’t understand you. First you’re asking me to hold you and now you don’t wanna make love.” He started pacing.

“There you go again getting mad at me for something you did.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry?”

I tried to walk away from him, but again like last time he grabbed my arm.

“Let me go Michael!” I attempted to smack him.

This time he was able to avoid a smack across his face and he pushed me up against the wall. I was surprised, that he would have so much strength. “Not again.”

I was trapped until I said something that made him leave me alone. “Get off of me Joseph!!!”

He slowly backed away and I ran back to the bedroom and cried.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Leave me alone Michael!”

December 29, 1988

I went straight to my kids room for comfort. When I saw them peacefully sleeping, I thought about how this problem with Michael could affect them when they grow up. I gave both of them a kiss and headed towards the shower. Ten minutes into the shower, I heard Michael come in and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“What do you want?” I asked, growing agitated.

He growled. “You know what I want.”

“Please, I came in here to be alone.”

“And I came here to show you how much you mean to me.” He said in a deep, sexy voice.

With the hold he had, I looked back, to look at his face, it was clouded with lust. Actually I started to feel his shaft grow against the back of my inner thighs. He started to kiss me on my lower earlobe.

I groaned and hissed. “Come on Michael, you know that’s not fair.” I moaned. “You know that’s my spot.”

He chuckled seductively. “You know I don’t play fair.”

“Michael, stop.” He stopped. Again I looked back at his lustful gaze, and I felt his hands travel up from my waist to my breasts.

I chuckled. “Oooh, somebody’s frisky.” I said covering his hands.

Within seconds, his lips covered mine, and he began squeezing my breasts.

“Oh, girl.” he moaned. “Open up your love to me…” he bit his lip. His lips traveled to my neck and his hands traveled down to my inner thighs. “Girl, I wanna make gooood, gooood lovin’.

I removed his hands from my thigh, and I turned to face him. As the water ran, Michael took hold of my wrist and put on his enlarged shaft.

“My body‘s calling you… I wanna feel you, your warmth,-”

I put my finger on his lips and put my hand on his shoulders. “Make me scream. I bet you can.”

“I’m going to do things to you that you’ve only fantasized about.”

I bit my lip. “Bring it on.”

He placed me against the wall and placed my legs around his waist. He gave me one final look before he entered me. He gasped, paused and buried his face on my chest.

“Oh, Michael. Give it to me.” I moaned.

He was panting, and finally began thrusting. “Oh yeah. Leondra. I know you missed my friend.” Michael bit his lip.

I dug my nails deeper into his back. “F**k me harder big daddy.”

He thrusted harder and deeper, and then he stopped. He turned off the water and led me back to the bedroom.

“Wait here…” he said locking the door and going to the stereo.

His song “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” began to play. Again he put me up against the wall. He re-entered me, this time moving his hips to the beat and singing the song.

“Each time the wind blows, I hear your voice so I call your name . . .whispers at morning our love is dawning heaven's glad you came . . .” He whimpered.

“Oh Michael, I like feeling your d**k inside me.” I moaned.

“You know How I feel,” Michael grunted. “This thing can't go wrong, I'm so proud to say I love you. Your love's got me high, I long to get by, this time is forever love is the answer.” he hissed.

“I hear your voice now. You are my choice now, the love you bring.” I sighed. “Oh god the love you bring Michael.” I resumed singing. “Heaven's in my heart, at your call I hear harps,
and angels sing. You know how I feel, this thing can't go wrong I can't live my life without you.”

“I love you babe.” Michael hissed.

We both let the chorus go by itself and Michael picked up on the next verse.

“At night when the stars shine, I pray in you I'll find a love so true . . .” Michael began picking up the pace.

“Oh f**k.“ I screamed “When morning awakes me will you cum and take me? I'll wait for you.”

“You know how I feel, I won't stop until I hear your voice saying "I Do"“

“Oh God!!! "I Do" this thing can't go wrong”

“This feeling's so strong.” Michael slowed down, but rammed into me with all his might. “Oh girl this feeling is so strong.”

By this time, the tempo didn’t matter, we drowned out the music.

“I’m almost there, Michael.” My eyes rolled in the back of my head.

“Ohhh ssssss. Me too.”

Michael stopped all movement and carried me to the bed and from there we reached our peaks within minutes.

“Ohhhh Leondra.” He hissed. “Ssssss oooooh babe.” Michael collapsed on me.

A minute later, there was a knock on the door.

“What?!!!” Michael yelled, still on top of me.”

“You have a phone call Mr. Jackson.”

“Tell them, I’ll call them back, I’m busy.” He said panting.

“Ok Mr. Jackson.” She came back knocking on the door. “Mr. Jackson, it’s urgent. It‘s John.”

“I’ll call him back.”

“Michael, baby, why don’t you just answer the phone?” I asked.

“Because baby, I’m not finished with you yet. I want more of you. I don’t care if it takes me all day. I’m gonna make love to you until you are not able to walk.”

I smiled. “Michael, I need to wa-”

“Shh. Let’s get it on.”

For the next three, we spent the “rounds” in the deck chair, the cradle, and the fusion positions. I was worn out, but Michael wanted more.

“Michael, I’m tired, let’s wait a while.”

“Yeah,” Michael said panting. “Let’s stop. I don’t want either one of us to have a heart attack.” he said withdrawing from me. “Ahh, you are so incredible.”

“You are too Michael. No man could ever make me feel the way you do.”

“Same here. You are my girl.” He stroked my back. “You are beautiful. I’m addicted to you. When it comes to you, my time is no better spent.”

Michael pulled me close to him, and we napped for the afternoon.

************************************************************************

When I woke up, Leondra was still sleeping. I felt better about our relationship, but I still couldn’t get an answer from her of why we couldn’t make love last night. I stared at her and caressed her cheek with my hand. She stirred.

“Sorry to wake you.”

“Umm, no it’s okay. I think I have a love hangover.”

“Baby, can we talk?”

“About what?” she asked sitting up.

“Last night.”

“What about last night?”

“Why couldn’t you make love to me?”

“I was starting to question the love that we had. I want a love that is based on truth not just dare Michael.”

“So you were holding that affair against me.”

“If right now you decide that you are not ready to settle down, then why are we together?”

“Wait-”

“I’m not finished.” she cut me off. “But if you wanna keep my heart, then it's time that you start.” she got up.

“It was only one time.”

“Joseph-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You’re just like him and in fact, you remind me of my father.” she got up.

“Look, babe. I swear I’ll never do it again.”

“How can I trust you Michael? Huh? You’re on the road all the time, I don’t know how many times you cheated on me.”

“Do you trust me?”

“It’s hard to Michael.”

“Then what do you call the love-making?”

She paused. “Michael, I thought about our kids. I thought about how confused they would be.”

I started pacing. “I feel used. You know that?”

“Well Michael if you do, then now you how I felt when I got that phone call from your girlfriend.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Mike, is everything okay?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” I was still pacing. “Bill, I need to take a ride.” I got dressed, unlocked the door and stormed out.

“Yeah, walk away Michael, just like you always do!” she yelled.

I turned around and I stormed back into the room and locked the door. She backed up onto the bed, she had nowhere to go. I climbed on top of her and pinned both of her wrists down.

“What is wrong with you?” I asked. She couldn’t answer me.

“Let me up, now.”

“No, not until you tell me what’s wrong.” There was a moment of silence. I began to laugh.

“What’s wrong with you now?”

I licked my lips. “You look sexy when you’re mad.” I felt a growth in my pants.

“Well, get off me. I still have a headache.”

“I think we could make that go away.”

“Yeah, if you go away.”

I let go of her wrists. “Ok, I’ll go, after I finish you off first.” I began taking off my clothes. “Thank God you are already naked girl. I gonna tear you up.”

“No Michael, I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m gonna put you in the mood. Now lay back, and relax. I’m gonna show you a good time.”

I climbed on top of her. “Michael, you sure don’t have a damn clue what “no” means do you?”

“No. I’ve been a bad boy. I think you need to teach me a lesson.” I bit my lip.

“Okay.” she rolled over so that she was straddling me. “You want a lesson?”

“Yeah. Punish me.”

“Here’s your lesson.” she got up and got dressed.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back.”

After coming from the bathroom, she entered the room. She threw cold water on me!

“What the f**k?!”

“You wanted a lesson.” She laughed spitefully.

I no longer had an “excitement“, so I got dressed and cooled down at the beach. On the way back, I was pulled over by a state trooper. I didn’t have my license, so I told the officer who I was, and he didn’t believe me. I was taken to Van Nuys Jail and I called up John to bail me out. I didn’t call Leondra, I was still mad.

December 30, 1988

“So John, you called me yesterday.”

“Yeah. The Catalog is yours.”

“Great.”

“You know, did you call your wife about your mishap?”

“No.”

“Michael, you were in there all night.”

“Not exactly. I was at the beach cooling off. She’s sending me mixed signals. I don’t know what the hell she wants anymore.”

“She’s still holding that against you?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re gonna be in more trouble.”

“What?”

“She called me saying she was pregnant and she’s saying that you are the father.”

“Oh God. How far along is she?

“She had the baby already.”

“What a way to end this year.”

“How are you gonna tell her?”

“I want a DNA test first.”

January 5, 1989

My daughter Michele was almost twenty five months and my son, Michael was six months. Leondra and I are still experiencing tension in our marriage because of my affair with Tatiana. I was mad at myself for even taking it that far, but I still loved my wife. She spent less time at home and more time at work, I bet she couldn’t stand the sight of me, I could understand, but I still wanted to talk to her. I found Leondra sitting on the swings with Junior and Michele on the other swing.

“Leondra can we talk?” I asked modestly.

“Why do we need to talk?”

“Cause I wanna. I need to talk to you.”

“Dada” Michele interrupted. She wanted me to push the swing, so I did.

She seemed reluctant to talk, but we did.
“Baby there’s something I want to tell you.“

“More bad, news. Let me guess You have a illegitimate child right?“

“I’m getting a DNA test.“

“Michael, this is it.“ She sighed. “I thought I could handle the cheating, but if this is your baby, I’m really divorcing you.” She walked off with Junior in her arms.

January 7, 1989

I was walking with a disguise when I saw a magazine with Leondra and my wedding photo. The front said “Is Jacko Divorced?” I opened it and started to read.

Is Jacko Divorced? There have been recent sightings of Jacko’s wife without a wedding ring. There have been rumors circulating that Jackson may have fathered another child with another woman. That woman was Tatiana Thumbtzen, a dancer that was fired on the “Bad Tour”