Lady In My Life

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CHAPTER 1
The Meeting

June 20, 1977

I just recently moved to California after graduation to start my college career in the fall. I wanted a high paying job so I could help make payments for my new condo so I applied for a job as a personal assistant at CBS Records.

June 23, 1977

Today was my first interview with Walter Yetnikoff, and I was very nervous because this was a big step from my previous job in Boston. After waiting ten minutes, Mr. Yetnikoff entered the room.

“Nice to meet you Leondra” said Yetnikoff

“Same here” I replied handing him my résumé

After looking through my résumé, the interview officially began.

“So you were an office assistant in Boston before coming here ?” asked Yetnikoff

“Yes.” I stated

“So you have some experience” said Yetnikoff

“Yes sir I do”

“So why do you think you would be suited for this job?”

Think that I had somewhat answered this question I began to grow frustrated.
“I think I’m suited for the job because as I stated before, I have experience, I am a very good communicator and I am very reliable.” I ended.

Yetnikoff then ended the interview: “ I think you’re a great candidate for the job but I have to check your resources.”

“I understand.” I replied.

Before leaving the room Yetnikoff stated, “ I also think you have great qualities and you are very young. You’re 18 right?”

“Yes sir.” I replied

“Well just so you know, being a personal assistant requires a lot of time”

“Yes Mr. Yetnikoff, I understand”

“We’ll give you a call to let you know if you got the job.”

Yetnikoff then shook my hand and left, I then headed home. When I got home I was very bored, I missed my boyfriend Marcus. I hated to leave him in Boston.


June 30, 1977


It was a week after my interview with Walter Yetnikoff and my hopes were pretty low on whether I would get the job or not. There were many other applicants with my standards and some higher than mine. To my surprise, my phone rang, It was Walter Yetnikoff.

“Hello, is this Leondra?” Yetnikoff asked.

“Yes, this is she.” I replied nervously.

“We’ll I’m calling to inform you that you got the job” Yetnikoff happily stated.

I kept my composure until I got of the phone and thanked Yetnikoff for hiring me. My job was to begin early in the morning.


July 1, 1977


I was my first day on the job and I met Mr. Yetnikoff. He gave me the details of my job, but who I was a personal assistant for kind of shocked me.

“Your job is to be Michael Jackson’s personal assistant. Michael is on his way to meet you” said Yetnikoff.

I waited for at least a couple of hours before he arrived.

************************************************************************

I was on my way to CBS records to meet my new assistant and I was pretty nervous, all I know is that Yetnikoff told me it was a girl. Being very shy around girls, I don’t know how I am going to communicate with her. I do have to admit it was good to have someone around that would help me keep my things straight.

After a two hour ride, I arrived at CBS records headquarters. Mr. Yetnikoff then led me to my personal assistant.

“Michael, I would like you to meet Leondra, your personal assistant” said Yetnikoff.

This girl was stunning. She had on a black dress that was covered in red flowers. I take it that she is very mysterious; she was wearing dark glasses and very reserved and quiet. I also can tell she was a little shy. I think that I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

After Walter left, I was the first to extend my hand.

“Nice to meet you Leondra.”

“Nice to meet you too.” she said in a soft voice.

It was hard for a conversation to begin knowing that we were both shy so I began.

“So where are you from?” I asked politely

“I’m originally from Boston, but I just moved here after graduating from high school” she stated.

“So you’re new around here and I don’t mean to get personal, but you’re 18?” I asked while fumbling with my fingers.

“It’s not a big deal, but yes I’m new around here and yes I’m 18” she shot back.

I thought to myself that I could have a chance, she’s 18 and I’m almost 19. So after the conversation ended, we headed back to my house in Encino where I lived with my family. Bill had driven us back. The ride was very quiet on the way there but Bill had asked a few questions as I assumed Walter did during the interview. I did feel bad because I couldn’t make any eye contact with her, I was so shy as much as she was.
When we reached the house, Joseph, Mother and Janet had greeted us, at least I would say Mother and Janet. Joseph had this cold stare that could kill but I hope Leondra wasn’t intimidated. If she was, you couldn’t see it because of her glasses. I wouldn’t doubt, if she was intimidating him. Before I or Mother could say anything, Janet snatched Leondra by the hand and they went off to play. I could see that Dunk is going to be good friends even if she is seven years younger.
After a good two hours, Janet finally did away with her games and took a nap. I was able to get reacquainted with Leondra. So I gave her a tour around the house before her job actually began. I could feel myself opening up to her but she was yet to do the same . I hate to admit it but her first job for me was to help me clean up my room. Things were everywhere, but I did offer help because she was wearing a dress. The room took a good hour to clean, I felt so much better.

“Thanks for cleaning my room” I said.

“No problem, but you did help” she replied.

I feel like cleaning my room helped her and I open up to each other a bit more, not as much as I had wanted us to. She never took off her glasses though, not with anyone so I felt obliged to get her to take them off.

“I don’t mean to pry, but why do you still have your glasses on?” I asked

“’Cause I want to keep them on” she replied

“You can take them off if you want to, feel at home, you’re making me feel bad,” I said using reverse psychology.

“Sorry, It’s just how I am”. she said

Then she took off her glasses, and God she had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were dark chocolate brown, but even with her glasses off, her eyes had mystery in them. She stayed around for another hour before I dismissed her from her first day on the job.


************************************************************************

I got home about seven o’clock when my phone rang.

“Hello Leondra, this is Michael”

“Hi, Michael”.

“I was just checking to see if you got home safe”

“Yes, yes I did thank you for caring.”

The phone was silent for awhile.

“Soooo,” Michael said nervously, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You bet.” I said

We then said our goodbyes and hung up the phone.


July 2, 1977


It was the next morning when I got a surprise call from my boyfriend in Boston.

“Hello, Love” said Marcus

Not recognizing the number, I proceeded to ask who it was.

“It’s Marcus” he said

“Hey Marcus” I said with excitement.

“How are you holding up over there?” he asked

“ I’m doing pretty well, but I miss you so much” I said sounding sad

“Well babe, I miss you too, so much that I coming to see you on the fourth”

“Really?!!!” I asked

“Yes, and probably permanently, I want to keep our promise in tact to get married soon” he said.

“Ok Marcus, I gotta get to work, but I love you and I’ll see you soon” I said

“I love you too” said Marcus

That conversation had brightened up my day, my boyfriend is coming to California, and possibly permanently. But thinking back to yesterday, I wasn’t at all star struck by Michael’s presence. I think the connection was further lost when I met Joseph, somewhat I think this may not be the greatest job in the world, working for a pop star, but it was nice for Michael to call and see if I got home safe.

While I was at work, I was able to meet the rest of the family, I really felt like I connected with La Toya very well, but it was strange how I connected with the rest of the family faster than I am doing with Michael. However, me and La Toya exchanged numbers before I left after doing my job. I was just looking forward to seeing my boyfriend again.

************************************************************************

August 20, 1990

Junior was two today and we had invited all family members to the party at Neverland. We played water balloon fights, a game I have never lost; I never got wet. Mac then pushed me into the pool. I turned to see Leondra laughing at the end of the pool, so I dove deeper into the pool so she wouldn’t see me coming. I pulled her into the pool, she was so mad, but also so sexy when she was wet.
I followed Leondra everywhere on account the Jermaine was around. She tried to keep me calm. At times, she would pull me back into the house, to catch a breather by making out.

December 15, 1990

Michele turned four and Michael and I started educational plans for Michele. She was already smart and very curious. Michele played with her relatives and friends while Junior tagged along. After everyone left, Michele ran up to me and Leondra; asking a question that we couldn’t answer.

“Mommy, daddy?” She climbed in the bed in the middle of us.

“Yes Michele?” I asked.

“Can we have another sister?”

Leondra and I looked at each other. “Not right now.” stated Leondra.

“When?”

I sighed. “Just not now. It’s late, let’s get you to bed. I know you must be tired.”

“Can you read me and Junior a story?”

“Sure.” I took Michele’s hand and I went to her room with Junior waiting.

I tucked both of them in a read the story with different voices.

“What’s the name of the story?”

“The Little Frog and the Big Buffalo. One day a Little Frog happens to see a buffalo on its way to the pond and is stopped by it. The little frog got surprised. What are you doing by jumping like this?” I said in a low angry voice. “Yelled the big buffalo at the little frog. This is how I walk responded the frog with a surprise. You have got four legs like any other animal and why can’t you just walk? Buffalo again yelled with the same anger.
Now the little frog understood the confusion the big buffalo had and it turned upside down and asked: Look my dear big buffalo how my legs are made. I do have four legs but the hind ones are differently made hence I can’t walk and I can only jump to cover distances.
Oh I am sorry – pleaded the big buffalo. I am really sorry for showing my anger at you without knowing the reason. I shall be your friend from now on wards and I shall carry you now to wherever you want to go. Please let me know where do you want to go – requested the buffalo
The little frog felt very happy with the sudden change in the behavior of the big buffalo.
I need to got to the pond near that banyan tree but I do not know how to climb on to your back – said the little frog. Do not worry I shall sit down so that with one leap you can jump on to my back – suggested the big buffalo. The frog did as suggested but the smooth skin of the buffalo made its efforts futile. Both the big buffalo and the little frog were disappointed but continued their efforts. At one point the frog could jump on to the back of the buffalo but as the big buffalo started standing up it had slipped down. As their struggle continued they saw Dr. Dove coming towards them.
What’s the matter why are you here asked Dr. Dove by alighting on the branch of a tree near them. I made a promise to carry this small frog on my back to the pond near that banyan tree but it has become difficult for this small frog to reach my back. You want to carry the frog on your back. Isn’t it? Asked Dr. Dove. Yes told the buffalo. Then I have suggestion to you. You both come along with me lead Dr. Dove towards the pond. All three reached the pond. Dear small frog you first jump into the water – said Dr. Dove.
The small frog jumped into the water and looked up by turning back towards the buffalo and Dr. Dove. Now dear Buffalo you walk into the water and sit down in such a way that your back is just touching the surface of the water level in the pond – said Dr. Dove. The big buffalo did as suggested. The little frog understood what is to be done. Immediately it jumped onto the back of the buffalo with ease and settled down there. Soon the buffalo too understood and came slowly out of the water with the little frog on its back. The little frog and the big buffalo were happy and thanked Dr. Dove.
Now tell me where shall I take you - asked the big buffalo. Not to the pond again but back to my home in the woods in the north pointed the little frog. Seeing their happiness Dr. Dove flew away.” I finished.

When I was done, both of them were sleeping peacefully. I went back to the room to check on Leondra, she was also sleep, or at least I thought she was.

“Are they sleep?” she asked.

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Michele wants a sister.” she sighed. “Michael, I can’t do that. Sooner or later, Little Michael’s gonna want a brother.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“Give it time to tell her I can’t do it.”

“What about adoption?”

“I’m not against it, but I just wanna be able to bear children again.”

I pulled her close to me. “Give it time.”

February 14, 1992

I went home after announcing that I would be embarking on another tour.

“Hey babe.”

“You’re touring again?”

“Yes. What’s wrong?”

“You know what happened last time.”

“I’m committed to you.”

“Are you?” she shot me a look.

“Yes.”

“You’re not Michael. There are fans out there…”

“Are you doubting my loyalty?”

“Yes. Sort of.”

“I won’t. I promise I won’t.” I lifted her chin and planted a kiss on her lips. “How bout you do the two week tour?”

“Sure. Will that be enough to watch your temptations?”

“My only temptation is you. Come on. I’m in the mood.”

“Not now.”

“Baby,” I started singing. “Quench my desire. Give it when I want it. Taking me higher.”

She took me by the hand and we had a little “fun”.

August 29, 1992

I was alone in a hotel, missing my wife and kids, so I decided to give them a call. The phone rang, no answer. Leondra already spent her two weeks with me, where could they be?
There was a knock on the door.

“Yes?” I asked.

“It’s Bill, there are people here saying they know you. Should I send them in?”

“Yeah.”

“Happy birthday to you Michael.”

“Oh baby. Thanks.” I said giving Leondra a kiss.

“I couldn’t miss this day.”

“Where are Michael and Michele?”

“Happy birthday daddy!” the kids ran up to me. I quickly embraced them.

“Thanks. Happy anniversary baby. I didn’t know you were coming so I didn’t plan anything.”

“It’s okay, I just wanna spend time with you.”

“How long are you staying?”

“Not long. The kids and I gotta leave tomorrow. Michele’s gotta go to school soon, Michael too. I will be spending the day with our mothers shopping for clothes.”

Since the kids shared a room with us, we didn’t make love, but we promised to do that when I got time off.

August 30,1992

It was time for Leondra and the kids to head back home. I hated being stuck in a hotel room alone, especially far away from home. I went with them to the airport, Leondra’s hand in mine.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” I told her, holding back tears.

“I’ll call you when we get home okay?”

“Okay.“

“Kids tell your father goodbye.“ Leondra said waiting.

“Bye dad!“ Michael and Michele yelled in unison.

Leondra walked hand in hand with our children and waved to me before she entered the plane. I stood there and waited ‘til they were no longer in sight. I was rushed back to the hotel before fans noticed me. I waited for that one phone call before I went to sleep.

September 19, 1992

I called Leondra to see if she was okay, and how the kids were doing in school. It was early in the morning for me, but late at night for her.

“Hello?”

“Baby.”

“Do you know what time it is?” she chuckled lightly.

“Yeah, it’s about eight o’clock.”

“Right.” she sighed. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I paused. “So what are you wearing?”

“Nothing. I’m completely naked. But I do have your favorite perfume on.”

“Vesen?”

“Yeah.”

“You turn me on when you wear that.”

“I know. I put it on to think of you.” There was silence. “Are you okay Michael?”

I let out a low groan. “Yeah.” I sighed. “Touch yourself. And think of me while you do it.” I commanded. I heard a loud moan on the other side. “Yeah, like that.” I was growing excited.

I started rubbing myself. “Yeah,” she groaned. “Take your clothes off and pretend you are deeeeeep inside me right now.”

I took off my clothes and started picking up the pace; so did she. We both moaned over the phone until we reached our peaks.

************************************************************************

September 27, 1992

I was in Portugal after the concert to see Michael. I wanted to surprise him, yet I had a hint of suspicion. He didn’t answer the phone and he always talked about how Portuguese women were beautiful. I was given the key to his room. He was supposed to be packing and on his way to Romania. Before I could open the door, I heard loud groans and moaning. When I snuck in, I saw Michael straddling another woman and was drenched in sweat.

“I know you like that.” Michael continued thrusting.

“I’m committed to you.” I mocked Michael.

Michael was startled and immediately got off of the groupie. “Baby.” He was panting. “I didn’t know-” He signaled for the groupie to leave.

“That’s right, you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t mean-”

I ran towards him and began pounding on his chest. “You lied to me Michael!.” I started crying.

He embraced me. “I’m sorry.”

“Why do you keep playing games with me Michael?! Why?!” I pushed him away from me.

He paused. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry. Is that all you can say is You’re sorry?!“ I chuckled angrily “You’re full of s**t.”
I started pacing, then I sat down on the sheets that were soiled by infidelity. Michael sat next to me. Then I got up again.

“Michael, this is it, I’m done.”

“With what?”

“With you.” I got up and left.

************************************************************************
October 3, 1992

I came home to Leondra packing.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“What does it look like to you Michael?” She screamed.

“Why?”

“Stop being f**king stupid Michael, I warned you about your next affair. I’m outta here!!!”

“Please don’t go” I begged

“You should’ve thought about that, Chris is on his way to pick me up”

“What?”

“I think you get the picture Michael.”

Within a few minutes, a car horn beeped, I assumed that it was Chris. She meant what she said, she was really leaving. After she left, the kids were confused asking me where their mother was going. I broke down, but I couldn’t tell them; they wouldn’t understand.

October 4,1992

I went over to Mother’s house to talk.

“Mother, are you around?” I stuttered.

“Yes, Michael; in here.” She paused. “You’ve been crying?”

“Yes”

“What’s wrong, Leondra left you?”

“Yes” I paused. “Wait a minute, how did you know?”

“Its on the news” She sighed. “Michael, come sit by me” She instructed. “Michael, you are turning out to be like your father.”

“No, I’m not like him, I care”

“Michael, I know you may not want to hear this, but your cheating ways are just like him.”

I paused for a moment. “I could never be like him”

“Then, change your ways, Michael, or you’ll lose her forever.”

“I already did.” I responded despondently.

“How so?”

“She left Neverland.”

“Go get her then.”

“I don’t know where she is”

“Then find her.”

************************************************************************

October 12, 1992

I had to get away from Michael, he didn’t know I was at the first house we lived in together. Chris made frequent visits to see how I was doing, but the sexual tension between us was growing hastily. Chris asked if he could come over, I accepted.

“Hi, Leondra.” he greeted me with a hug.

“Hi, Chris. Come in.” he followed me in the door.

“How is everything?”

“Good, so what do you need?”

“A little help on math work.”

“Okay, sit down.”

I pulled up a chair at the table next to him. He seemed baffled on the subject, so I took the pen from him and showed him how to do the work.

“I have to tell you, but maybe it’s too soon.”

“What Chris?”

“I have always liked you and-”

“I know. Come on.” I said getting up from the chair.

“Where are we going?” he took me by the hand.

“To my room.”

“But Leondra, I’m still-”

“A virgin?”

He gulped. “Yes.”

“Fine. I’ll show you some moves. Got a condom?”

“No.”

“That’s okay, I got extras.”

When we got into the room, he seemed tense. “Chris, relax.” I approached him.

I started unbuttoning his shirt one by one, he never took his eyes off of me.

“Sit on the bed.” I instructed him.

His stare became intense with lust. After removing his clothes and mine, I lied down next to him. “Get on top of me.” I told him. He did as I said. “Now go ahead, I’m all yours.”

He slowly started kissing me on my neck, making me moan lightly. He became more confident and more aggressive in his sucking on my neck. After, his hands freely roamed on my body, tracing his fingers around my center.

“You’re beautiful.” Chris said. “I’ve been waiting for this moment. “Are you sure?” he looked up at me.

“Yes. Wrap yourself first.”

After putting on condom, Chris resumed his position and entered me slowly, then stopped.

“It’s okay, Chris.” I encouraged him.

He placed his hands on my thighs and started thrusting slow. While maintaining the pace, Chris sucked on my upper lip, then the bottom lip. He lifted up my hips so he can go deeper. I showed a hint a pain that made him stop.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No Chris.” I hissed. “Keep going, you’re doing fine.”

I continued screams until I reached my peak, and moments later, he reached his. He pulled completely out and pulled me close to him.


January 13, 1993

I missed my kids so I gave Neverland a call. Someone answered the phone and I asked them to pass the phone to Michele because she was older.

“Hello?” a quiet soft-spoken voice asked.

“Michele”

“Mommy?”

“Yes”

“Mommy, where are you? I miss you”

“I miss you too baby girl, but mommy had to go away for awhile”

“When are you coming back?”

I paused. “I don’t know” I sighed to hold back tears. “Where’s Junior?”

“He’s right here Mommy, he’s crying a lot, he misses you too.”

“Can you give him the phone?”

“Ok Mommy, Love you!”

“I love you too”

Another voice answered. “Hello?”

“Junior, this is Mommy”

“Mommy!” he yelled.

“How are you?”

“Good, mommy, what about you?”

“I’m okay, Mommy misses you”

“I miss you too Mommy” he said softly. “Are you coming home?”

“I don’t know”

“Can we come visit you?”

“Yes you can, maybe later Mommy can pick you and your sister up”

“Yay!!!” he screamed.

“Junior, who’s on the phone?” a voice asked in the background.

“Daddy it’s Mommy!!! Mommy’s on the phone!!” I hung up.


I put on a turtleneck to hide the hickey that Chris gave me last night then I drove over to Neverland to pick up my kids. I kept a low profile so I wouldn’t get spotted by Michael. As I almost got out the door with the kids, an arm had a strong grip on me.

“Baby, wait.”

“Michael, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is”

“No, Michael there isn’t, you never loved me”

“I love you, I would do anything for you”

“Apparently not” I said breaking his grip from my arm.

“I miss you.” He started to cry. “I miss being with you. I miss making love to you.” He said stroking my face with his hand. “Wait, what’s that?” he asked noticing the hickey.

“None of your business.”

“I have a right to know.”

“Michael, we’re not together anymore. Oh here.” I slammed the divorce papers on his chest.

The rims of his eyes watered. “You don’t mean it.”

“Watch me. I’ll have the kids back later.”

“Baby please.”

“I’ll see you in court.”

I left him standing there, I wanted to hear nothing of his excuses, I just wanted to spend time with my kids. After ten hours, I dropped them off at Neverland and told them I loved them and left.

CHAPTER 19
The Vist and The Need For Space

When I returned home the phone rang, it was a collect call, I accepted it.

“Hello, Leondra”

“Marcus” I asked surprised. “What do you want? How did you get my number?”

“I remembered and I wanted to see how you are doing?”

“Since when did you care about me?”

“I always did”

“No you didn’t!” I screamed. “I’m hanging up”

“No wait, I wanted to tell you something”

“What Marcus?” I said irritated.

“Are you listening?”

“I have no choice, go ahead”

“The reason why I did the things I did, was because,” he paused. “My parents abused me when I was little. They abused me mentally, sexually, and physically. I’m so sorry that, I did it to you, I really am.”

I sighed. “Marcus, why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think less of me”

“I didn’t Marcus, I always loved you, but you don‘t have to be like your parents.”

“I know but do you forgive me?”

“I‘m trying, but I’ll never forget it”

“So, how’s your kids?” he asked.

“How did you know?”

“I have ways”

“Its none of your business”

“You should’ve had my kids.”

“I would have if you were honest with me.”

“Can you promise to me that you will visit me?”

“No, I will not”

“If you don’t, I will keep calling your house.”

“Whatever Marcus”

“Look Leondra,” he paused “You were my first love and I will always love you.”

I sighed. “I’ll see what I can do”

“Good, I love you Leondra”

I was silent, I just hung up the phone. I did not love him like I once did.

January 17, 1993

I was watching TV with Chris when there was a newsflash: “Jackos lady wants a divorce!” Chris and I stared at each other simultaneously.

“A Jackson insider has informed us that Mrs. Jackson is no longer Mrs. Jackson. She filed for divorce five months ago and is set to be finalized next month.” A reporter noted.

“What’s the reason for the divorce?” Another reporter asked.

“He has cheated on her with some fans.”

“Are they still living together?”

“Sources say that she is not with Jackson now. She is staying at an undisclosed location.”

I buried my face in my hands. “Does everybody have to know what happened?”

I felt Chris embrace me. “It’s okay. At least you’ll be out of the media.”

“No, when they find out that Michael and I had kids, they’ll never leave me alone. I’m surprised they don’t know that yet.”

“Who’s the Jackson insider?”

“Don’t know. I wish I did though.”

“Oh, almost forgot Cheryl called.”

“Oh, I told her I would visit Marcus next week.”

“Why?”

“So he would finally leave me alone.”

“If he hasn’t left you alone, what makes you think he will now?”

I shrugged my shoulders and rubbed my hand on Chris’s chest. “I don’t know. I just want some closure to some problems in my life.”


January 19, 1993

I went to Cheryl’s house to tell her about Marcus. She noticed a hickey on my neck.

“Are you and Michael together or not?”

“No.”

“Then who gave you that?” She asked poking at the hickey.

I paused. “Chris did.”

She was silent. “Wow, I didn’t know you and Chris were kickin’ it like that.”

“Well, he was there.”

“What are you gonna tell my brother when he sees that?”

“The same thing I told Michael, it’s none of his business.”

“You know he called. He was very happy when he saw the news two days ago.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“So what are you gonna tell him?”

“I’m seeing someone. How am I supposed to hook up with him after what he did? He’s crazy to think that I’m on the market next month for him. Actually, I’m not on the market.”

“Are you and Chris?”

“We’re thinking about it.”

“Wow, how’s the?”

“What? The sex?”

“Yes.”

“It’s good.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like he become someone else. Possessed.”

“Wow. You took his virginity. I bet it’s not as good as Michael…”

“I don’t wanna talk about him.”

“Admit it Michael’s d**k is better than Chris’”

“Okay, but it cost me the ability to have kids.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Do you miss him?”

“No.” I looked down at the floor.

“You do!!”

“I don’t!!”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t.”

“I can’t ‘cause I kinda do miss the lying bastard.” Cheryl busted out in a laugh which made me chuckle. “That’s not funny. I’m serious.”

“It is. I never heard you talk about Michael that way. What does Michael think of all this?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

“Does he know that you shacked up with Chris in your old home?”

“Nope.”

“Should he? He paid for that house.”

“Cheryl I don’t care if he walks in on me and Chris having sex. I walked in on him in a hotel. That hurts.”

“Are you gonna throw away seven years? What about your kids?”

“They don’t know what’s going on, but we have joint custody. He has the kids for half the week and I got them for the other half.”

“You two are gonna scar your kids.”

“They’ll know when they get older.”

“You two are dating other people. Well you are. That’s gonna confuse them.”

“They’ll know when they get older.”


January 23, 1993

I’m a person who likes to keep promises, so I made a visit to California State Prison, where Marcus is. It wasn’t far from where I was staying so I felt pretty comfortable going. I went by myself; and went through every type of security measures at the prison. I saw Marcus; it hurt me to see him in an orange jumpsuit.

“Lets have a seat” he suggested. We sat on opposite sides of the table. “There’s no need to be nervous.” He said.

“I can’t help it, I’m sure that everyone knows that I’m the ex-wife of Michael Jackson”

“No worries,” he chuckled nervously. “Aren’t you two getting divorced?”

“It should be finalized next month. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, maybe we could get married”

“Why did you want you want to see me so bad?”

“Because,” he put his hands on top of mine from across the table. “I love you and I still do. I want to make things right with you.” He said kissing my hand. “I wanted to see if you are really okay after Michael.”

“I don’t wanna talk about him… So how‘s it here?”

“Thinking about you? Painful. I feel better now that I could see you.”

“I know. Your sister told me all the messages you left for me.”

“I know. So next month, Marry Me?”

“Can’t.”

“I’m seeing someone.”

“Oh, that explains the “bruise” on your neck.” he said, using air quotes.

“How is it with him?”

I stared into space. “Huh?”

“Your new boyfriend. Is he treating you ok?”

“Do you need to know?”

“Yes, I do. Os he treating you ok?”

“What do you know about how to treat a woman?”

“Through you, and this time here.”

“He’s okay.”

“He’s not.”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s not. I know that look when something is not ok.”

“You remember?”

“Yes. I remember your habits.” he chuckled. “Tell me all about it.”

“He’s…he’s-”

“Controlling? Aggressive?”

“Um, yeah. How do you know?” I smirked. “You got someone spying on me?”

“Yes. Are you forgetting that I have a sister?”

“Oh, Cheryl. She told you?”

“Just about everything. Why? Is there something else that you need to tell me?”

“No.” I pushed his arm. “You’re nosey.”

“I am. When it comes to you…” he looked at me with an intense stare.

“I see. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re still beautiful. If I can go back, I would’ve never done that to you.” Marcus started tearing up.

“Marcus, we can’t go back, we can only move forward.”

“Are you saying you forgive me?”

I paused. “Yes. Marcus.”

“That’s not what you said last week. What made you change your mind?”

“I don’t know. Time?”

“Maybe.”

The prison guard told us that time was up, but Marcus asked for two minutes.

“Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“I don’t love you.” I said averting his eyes.

He lifted my chin to meet his eyes. “Can you look into my eyes and tell me?”

“I can’t Marcus. I guess there’s a part of me that still cares about you. You were my first love.”

“Ok Patrick, Let’s go” said the prison guard calling Marcus by his last name.

“I love you Leondra.”

“I…Love…you…too Marcus.” I responded slowly.

As I turned to walk away, Marcus stopped me. “What? I don’t get a hug?”

I gave him a hug, then a kiss on the cheek. He cupped my face in his hands in gave me a kiss on his lips; it made my legs weak. He always had a kiss that made me feeble, no matter what he did. He was escorted to his cell.

January 24, 1993

I was in the bed with Chris, when the phone rang.

“Can you get it later?”

“What if it was about my kids?”

He pulled out. “Okay. I gonna go take a cold shower.” he said getting up.

“Hello. Leondra.”

“Cheryl?” I was startled.

“Yep.”

“Can this wait? I was in the middle of doing something.” I said, catching my breath.

“No, what did you do to Marcus? He’s on cloud nine.”

“Nothing. I visited just like I said.”

“No, you did more than that, he told me you two kissed.”

“I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He kissed me.”

“Don’t send him mixed messages.”

“I wasn’t. And why did you tell him about Chris?”

“He wanted to know about other men in your life besides your famous ex-husband.”

“Did you tell him about your husband?”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

“Why did you tell him about how I felt about Chris?”

“He asked.” she paused. “Have you told Chris how you feel?”

“No.”

“Well you should.”

“I will when he finishes his cold shower.”

“Oh, that’s what I interrupted.”

“Yes. I’ll call you when I talk to him.”

“K, bye.”

“Bye.”

I thought about what Cheryl said and I thought maybe it is a good time to tell him. I just don’t know how he’s gonna react. Thirteen minutes later, he came back.

“How was the cold shower?”

“It was okay.”

“Sorry.”

“Who was it?” He sat down.

“Cheryl.”

“What did she want?”

“To talk about Marcus.”

“What about him?”

“I saw him yesterday.”

“You did?” He sounded uninterested.

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“He kissed me.”

“What?!”

“No Chris, it’s ok. It was just a friendly kiss.”

“Did you tell him about us?”

“Yeah. He noticed the hickey.”

He chuckled. “Want me to give you another one?”

“No, I need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

I sighed. “I need space.”

“You need space? From what? From me?”

“Yes.” I paused. “My kids will be coming over soon and I don’t want them to get confused.”

“Confused. About what?” he sighed. “Have you been listening to Cheryl?”

“Sorta.”

He rubbed his chin. “Oh, okay. How much time will you need?”

“A month tops.”

“A month?”

“Yes. It’ll give me time to explain things to them.”

“They’re. smart. A month would be enough time.”

“If you know my kids, questions lead to more questions.” I looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah, a month should do.”

“So I’ll leave tomorrow, and I’ll come back in March.”

“March?”

“Yeah, I just remembered I have to prepare for an upcoming trial.”

“Murder?”

“Murder.”

************************************************************************

CHAPTER 20
The Divorce and Michael's Interview With Oprah

February 3, 1993


I haven’t seen Leondra at all since she gave me the divorce papers. She’s been here, just to see the kids. Today was court and the divorce was going to be finalized. I didn’t want it to end this way. I was devastated over the whole thing. I didn’t want to face her in court. I couldn’t sleep at all.
On the way to court, my heart started beating fast. I wanted to see her, but yet, I didn’t. I arrived before she did. Ten minutes of waiting, She walked in, with Chris; hand in hand. We were splitting custody, and I didn’t want it that way.

“Mr. Jackson Is there anything you would like to say?”

I cleared my throat. “Yes your honor.” I turned to Leondra and sighed. “Leondra, I’m sorry it had to end this way. I really hope that we remain friends for the sake of our children. I will always love you.”

“Mrs. Jackson, is there anything you would like to say?” the judge asked.

“No your honor.”

I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t want to speak. She got up and walked out with Chris…It was over. When we left the court, the media hounded me and my lawyer asking many questions. Later on in the day the news came on.

“The Jackson divorce is finalized.” A reporter said. “Earlier today, the divorce between Michael and his ex-wife Leondra was finalized. When Leondra was asked about what her next plans are, she gave this statement:”

“I just wanna move on with my life okay?”

I was devastated. I turned off the TV and went to my room. I threw myself on the bed and covered my face with my hands and started crying, then I fell asleep for awhile. I had to get ready for my next interview with Oprah.

“Michael?”

“Yes Elizabeth.”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” I was groggy.

“How are you feeling?”

“Hurt. I really did love her.”

“I know dear, but you have to move on. It’s clear that she has.”

“She hasn’t.”

“What makes you think that?”

“She’s not happy with him. I can tell.”

“Michael?-”

“She’s not happy. We were together for almost thirteen years. I know everything about her.”

“I think-”

“I miss her Liz. I really do.”

“Don’t you have a interview to get ready for in a week?”

“Yes.”

“Then get ready.”


February 10, 1993

I was scheduled for an interview. After I entered the room, I shook hands with Oprah and she kissed me on the cheek.

“How nervous are you?” Oprah asked

“How what?”

“How nervous are you right now?”

“I'm not nervous at all, actually.”

“You really aren't?”

“No, I never get nervous.”

“Not even for your first interview and it's live around the world? I thought you'd be a little nervous but you're not and that's great because if you're not nervous I won't be nervous. I just wanted to let the world know that when we agreed to do this interview you said you would be willing to talk to me about everything.”

“That's true.”

“Very true. I was watching you in the background there watching you in the video of the early years. Did that bring back memories for you?”

“It made me giggle because I haven't seen that footage in a long time. Did it bring back memories? Yes, me and my brothers who I love dearly and it's just a wonderful moment for me.”

“I saw you laugh when you saw yourself singing Baby, Baby, Baby.”

“Yeah, I think James Brown is a genius you know when he's with the Famous Flames, unbelievable. I used to watch him on television and I used to get angry at the cameraman because whenever he would really start to dance they would be on a close-up so I couldn't see his feet. I'd shout, "show him show him.", so I could watch and learn.”

“So he was a big mentor for you?”

“Phenomenal, phenomenal.”

“Who else was?”

“Jackie Wilson who I adore as an entertainer, and of course music, Motown. The Bee Gees who are brilliant, I just love great music.”

“When I look at those tapes of you, and heaven knows, putting this together I think I've seen every piece of video ever done of you, and watching those tapes when, especially in the younger years, you seem to really come alive on stage. Were you as happy off stage as you appear to be on stage?”

“Well, on stage for me was home. I was most comfortable on stage but once I got off stage, I was like, very sad.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“And sad from the beginning, sad since it first started, sad?”

“Lonely, sad, having to face popularity and all that. There were times when I had great times with my brother, pillow fights and things, but I was, used to always cry from loneliness.”

“Beginning at what age?”

“Oh, very little, eight, nine.”

“When you all first became famous?”

“Yes.”

“So it wasn't what it appeared to be to the rest of the world, all of us. I remember I was a little black child, wanted to marry Jackie Jackson, your brother, so I mean to all of us we thought this was the most wonderful thing in the world, who wouldn't have wanted that life?”

“It was wonderful; there is a lot of wonderment in being famous. I mean you travel the world, you meet people, you go places, and it’s great. But then there's the other side, which I'm not complaining about. There is lots of rehearsal and you have to put in a lot of your time, give of yourself a lot.”

“Do you feel... I talked with Susan de Passe the other day, and Susan de Passe worked with you at Motown and really groomed you all and found the outfits for the Ed Sullivan Show. We talked about whether or not it was really lost, was it?”

“Well, especially now I come to realize - and then - I would do my schooling which was three hours with a tutor and right after that I would go to the recording studio and record, and I'd record for hours and hours until it's time to go to sleep. And I remember going to the record studio there was a park across the street and I'd see all the children playing and I would cry because it would make me sad that I would have to work instead.”

“I want to go to this and show some pictures of you as a little boy.”

“OK.”

“Susan said it was a heavy price. I want to know how big of a price it was, losing your childhood or having this kind of life?”

“Well, you don't get to do things that other children get to do, you know, having friends and slumber parties and buddies. There was none of that for me. I didn't have any friends when I was little. My brothers were my friends.“

“Was there ever a place where - because you know children - because I remember talking to myself and playing with my dolls - was there.. and I think every child needs a place to escape into, a child's world, a child's imagination, was there ever a time you could do that?”

“No. And that is why I think now because I didn't have it then, I compensate for that. People wonder why I always have children around, because I find the thing that I never had through them, you know Disneyland, amusement parks, arcade games. I adore all that stuff because when I was little it was always work, work, work from one concert to the next, if it wasn't a concert it was the recording studio, if it wasn't that it was TV shows or interviews or picture sessions. There was always something to do.“

“Did you feel, Smokey Robinson said this about you, and so have many other people, that you were like an old soul in a little body.“

“I remember hearing that all the time when I was little. They used to call me a 45-years-old midget wherever I went, I just used to hear that and wherever I went .. just like when some people when you were little and you started to sing did you know you were that good? And I say I never thought about it, I just did it and it came out. I never thought about it really.“

“So here you were, Michael Jackson, you all had hits, you all had so many hits, four hits in a row, and you were crying because you couldn't be like other kids.”

“Well, I loved show business and I still love show business, but then there are times you want to play and have some fun and that part did make me sad. I remember one time we were getting ready to go to South America and everything was packed up and in the car ready to go and I hid and I was crying because I really did not want to go. I wanted to play. I did not want to go.”

“Were your brothers jealous of you when you started getting all the attention?”

“Not that I know of, no.“

“You never felt a sense of jealousy?“

“Oh, let me think - no. No, I think they were always happy for me that I could do certain things, but I've never felt jealousy among them.“

“Do you think they are jealous of you now?“

“I wouldn't think so. I don't think so, no.“

“No. What's your relationship like with your family? Are you all close still?“

“I love my family very much. I wish I could see them a little more often than I do. But we understand because we're a show business family and we all work. We do have family day when we all get together, we pick a person's house, it might be Jermaine's house or Marlon's house or Tito's house and everyone will come together in fellowship and love each other and talk and catch up on who's doing what and....“

“You weren't all upset about La Toya and La Toya's book and the things that La Toya has said about the family?“

“Well, I haven't read La Toya's book. I just know how to love my sister dearly, I love La Toya and I always will and I always see her as the happy, loving La Toya that I remember growing up with. So I couldn't completely answer on that.“

“Do you feel that some of the things that she's been saying are true?“

“I couldn't answer Oprah, honestly I haven't read the book. That's the honest truth.“

“Well, let's go back to when you were growing up and feeling all of this, well, I guess it's a sense of anguish, I guess, so there was no one for you to play with other than your brother's, you never had slumber parties?“

“Never.“

“So I'm wondering for you, being this cute little boy who everybody adored and everybody who comes up to you they're pulling your cheeks and how cute, how adolescence going through that duck stage where everything's awkward, and I'm wondering when you started to go through adolescence having been this child superstar, was that a particularly difficult time for you?“

“Very. Very, very difficult, yes. Because I think every child star suffers through this period because you're not the cute and charming child that you were. You start to grow, and they want to keep you little forever.“

“Who are they?“

“The public. And um, nature takes its course.“

“It does?“

“Yes, and I had pimples so badly it used to make me so shy, I used not to look at myself, I'd hide my face in the dark, I wouldn't want to look in the mirror and my father teased me and I just hated it and I cried every day.“

“Your father teased you about your pimples?“

“Yes and tell me I'm ugly.“

“Your father would say that?“

“Yes he would. Sorry Joseph“.

“What's your relationship like with him?“

“I love my father but I don't know him.“

“Are you angry with him for doing that? I think that's pretty cruel actually.”

“Am I angry with him?”

“ Because adolescence is hard enough without a parent telling you that you're ugly.”

“Am I angry with him? Sometimes I do get angry. I don't know him the way I'd like to know him. My mother's wonderful. To me she's perfection. I just wish I could understand my father.”

“And so let's talk about those teen years. Is that when you started to go inside yourself? Because obviously you haven't spoken to the world for 14 years. So you went inside, you became a recluse. Was it to protect yourself?”

“I felt there wasn't anything important for me to say and those were very sad, sad years for me.”

“Why so sad? Because on stage you were performing, you were getting your Grammies. Why so sad?”

“Oh, there's a lot of sadness about my past and adolescence, about my father and all of those things.”

“So he would tease you, make fun of you.”

“Yes.”

“Would he ... did he ever beat you?”

“Yes.”

“And why would he beat you?”

“He saw me, he wanted me ... I guess I don't know if I was his golden child or whatever it was, some may call it a strict disciplinarian or whatever, but he was very strict, very hard, very stern. Just a look would scare you, you know.”

“And were you scared of him?”

“Very. Like there's been times when he'd come to see me, I'd get sick, I'd start to regurgitate.”

“As a child or as an adult?”

“Both. He's never heard me say this. I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me.”

“Well, I mean, I suppose everybody has to take responsibility for what they've done in life. And your father is one of those people who also have to take responsibility.”

“But I do love him.”

“Yes, I understand this.”

“And I am forgiving.”

“But can you really forgive?”

“I do forgive. There's so much garbage and so much trash that's written about me it is so untrue, they're complete lies, and those are some of the things I wanted to talk about. The press has made up so much ... God ... awful, horrifying stories it has made me realize the more often you hear a lie, I mean, you begin to believe it.”

“Um, we talked about all of the rumors just before we went to the break and there are so many. First of all, I have been in this house getting prepared for this and I've been all over the house upstairs when you weren't looking, looking for that oxygen chamber and I cannot find an oxygen chamber anywhere in the house.”

“That, that story is so crazy, I mean it's one of those tabloid things, it's completely made up.”

“Okay, but you are in something there, there's a picture of you, where did that come from? How did it get started?”

“That's ... I did a commercial for Pepsi and I was burned very badly and we settled for one million dollars and I gave all the money ... like we built this place called the Michael Jackson Burn Center and that's a piece of technology used for burn victims, right, so I'm looking at the piece of technology and decide to just go inside it and just to hammer around, somebody takes the picture, when they process the picture the person who processes the picture says, "Oh, Michael Jackson," he made a copy and these pictures went all over the world with this lie attached to it. It's a complete lie, why do people buy these papers. It's not the truth and I'm here to say. You know, do not judge a person, do not pass judgment, unless you have talked to them one on one, I don't care what the story is, do not judge them because it's a lie.”

“You're right, that story, it was just like it had legs.”

“It's crazy! Why would I want to sleep in a chamber?” I asked laughing.

“Well, the rumor was that you were sleeping in the chamber because you didn't want to grow old.”

“That's stupid. That's stupid. It's completely made up and I'm embarrassed. I'm willing to forgive the press, or forgive anybody, I was taught to love and forgive, which I do have in my heart, but please don't believe these crazy, horrifying things.”

“Did you buy the Elephant man's bones, were you trying to get them for …”

“No that's another stupid story. I love the story of the Elephant Man, he reminds me of me a lot and I could relate to it, it made me cry because I saw myself in the story, but no I never asked for the ... where am I going to put some bones?”

“I don't know.”

“And why would I want some bones?”

“I don't know. So where did that come from?”

“Someone makes it up and everybody believes it. If you hear a lie often enough, you believe it.”

“Yes and people make money selling tabloids.”

“Yes”

“All right. Just recently, there was a story and I know one of your attorneys held a news conference, there was a story about you wanting a little white child to play you in a Pepsi commercial.”

“That is so stupid. That is the most ridiculous, horrifying story I've ever heard. It's crazy. Why, number one, it's my face as a child in the commercial, me when I was little, why would I want a white child to play me? I'm a black American, I am proud to be a black American, I am proud of my race. I am proud of who I am. I have a lot of pride and dignity. That's like you wanting an oriental person to play you as a child. Does that make sense?”

“No.”

“So, please people, stop believing these horrifying stories.”

“Okay, then let's go to the thing that is most discussed about you, that is the color of your skin is most obviously different than when you were younger, and so I think it has caused a great deal of speculation and controversy as to what you have done or are doing, are you bleaching your skin and is your skin lighter because you don't like being black?”

“Number one, as I know of, there is no such thing as skin bleaching, I have never seen it, I don't know what it is.”

“Well they used to have those products, I remember growing up always hearing always use bleach and glow, but you have to have about 300,000 gallons.”

“Okay, but number one, this is the situation. I have a skin disorder that destroys the pigmentation of the skin, it's something that I cannot help. Okay. But when people make up stories that I don't want to be who I am it hurts me.”

“So it is…”

“It's a problem for me that I can't control, but what about all the millions of people who sits out in the sun, to become darker, to become other than what they are, no one says nothing about that.”

“So when did this start, when did your ... when did the color of your skin start to change?”

“Oh boy, I don't ... sometime after Thriller, around Off the Wall, Thriller, around sometime then.”

“But what did you think?”

“It's in my family, my father said it's on his side. I can't control it, I don't understand, I mean, it makes me very sad. I don't want to go into my medical history because that is private, but that's the situation here.”

“So okay, I just want to get this straight, you are not taking anything to change the color of your skin …”

“Oh, God no, we tried to control it and using make-up evens it out because it makes blotches on my skin, I have to even out my skin. But you know what's funny, why is that so important? That's not important to me. I'm a great fan of art, I love Michelangelo, if I had the chance to talk to him or read about him I would want to know what inspired him to become who he is, the anatomy of his craftsmanship, not about who he went out with last night ... what' wrong with ... I mean that's what is important to me.”

“How much plastic surgery have you had?”

“Very, very little. I mean you can count on my two fingers, I mean let's say this, if you want to know about those things, all the nosey people in the world, read my book Moonwalk, it's in my book. You know, let's put it this way, if all the people in Hollywood who have had plastic surgery, if they went on vacation, there wouldn't be a person left in town.”

“Mmm, I think you might be right.”

“I think I am right. It would be empty.”

“Did you start having plastic surgery because of those teen years because of not liking the way you looked?”

“No, not really. It was only two things. Really, get my book, it's no big deal.”

“You don't want to tell me what it is? You had your nose done, obviously.”

“Yeah, but so did a lot of people that I know.”

“And so, when you hear all these things about you, and there have been more…”

“I've never had my cheekbones done, never had my eyes done, never had my lips done and all this stuff. They go too far, but this is stuff that happens every day with other people.”

“Are you pleased now with the way you look?”

“I'm never pleased with anything, I'm a perfectionist, it's part of who I am.”

“And so when you look in the mirror now and so the image that looks back at you are there days when you say I kinda like this or I like the way my hair …”

“No. I'm never pleased with myself. No, I try not to look in the mirror.”

“I have to ask you this, so many mothers in my audience have said to please ask you this question. Why do you always grab your crotch?”

“Why do I grab my crotch?” I giggled.

“You've got a thing with your crotch going on there.”

“I think it happens subliminally. When you're dancing, you know you are just interpreting the music and the sounds and the accompaniment if there's a driving base, if there's a cello, if there's a string, you become the emotion of what that sound is, so if I'm doing a movement and I go bam and I grab myself it's... it's the music that compels me to do it, it's not saying that I'm dying to grab down there and it's not in a great place you don't think about it, it just happens, sometimes I'll look back at the footage and I go ... and I go did I do that? So I'm a slave to the rhythm, yeah, okay.”

“When you have broken all those records, when you have the number one album ever sold, when you've broken every record there is to break, when you become an icon of an industry, is there always the pressure to do something bigger and something better.”

“Oh gee, that is something, um, it makes it harder each time to follow up. You try to be as original as you can be without thinking about statistics, just you go from the soul and from the heart.”

“And so when you think of that what do you do, you go, you meditate, you think, well I will now do the Super bowl.”

“No, I just create out of my heart, really.”

“Liz Taylor said you were king of pop, rock and soul. Where did this whole notion that you proclaimed yourself king of pop come from?”

“Well, I didn't proclaim myself to be anything. I'm happy to be alive, I'm happy to be who I am, king of pop was first said by Elizabeth Taylor on one of the award shows.”

“And that's where this all started?”

“Yes, and the fans ... all the stadiums that we played at they'd bring banners saying king of pop and jackets that say king of pop and T-shirts that say king of pop and they chanted outside my hotel, so it just became something that just happened all over the world.”

“Do you go out, do you date?”

“Yes.”

“Who do you date?”

“Well, I was married. I’m trying to get over it. So at the time, I can‘t date. Well, we tried not to be everywhere, go everywhere, it's mostly at home, because we didn't like going out in public.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Yeah, I was..”

“Let me ask you this, and it's embarrassing for me to ask you this, but I'm gonna ask you anyway, are you a virgin?”

“Uhhhhh, how could you ask that question?”

“I just want to know.”

“I'm a gentleman,”

“You're a gentleman?”

“I'm a gentleman.”

“I would interpret that to mean that you believe that a lady is a lady and therefore..”

“That's something that's private, I mean, it shouldn't be spoken about openly. ......... You can call me old fashioned if you want, but, you know I mean that's very personal.”

“I would feel my life is incomplete if I didn’t 'cause I adore the family life, I adore children and I adore that whole thing. And I love my family, but I would like to have more children; that's one of my dreams, but I couldn't right now because I'm very busy, and there has to be that closeness in order to do the kind of work that I want to do and …”

“What kind of woman makes you - in the video we're going to see later, we premier the world video, there's a line where you talk about being quenched, so what kind of person does that for you?”

“Quench my desire …” I sang. “Well my ex-wife, I loved her more than she could imagine, and-”

“Tell me about your ex-wife.”

“Leondra is someone I loved a lot. She’s smart, my partner-in-crime, and someone I could definitely turn to for deep conversations. She is very down to earth makes a great mom to our kids.” I smiled.

“What about your kids? I understand you have two now?”

“Yes, Michele and Michael jr.”

“Where are they now?”

“They are usually sleep by this time of night.”

“How old are they?”

“Well, Michele is six and Michael is four.”

“What are their schedules like, do they go to school?”

“Yes, they are home schooled Leondra and I want the best for our kids. They do have friends and birthday parties, we try to make their lives as normal as possible.

“About the divorce, how is your wife coping?.”

“I don‘t know. I haven‘t really seen her since the divorce was finalized.”

“Is there a specific reason why there was a divorce?”

“I’ve been told not to talk about that by law so-.”

“Other than your ex-wife, have you had any crushes?”

“Yes when I was little I used to stay with Diana Ross, me and my brother stayed with her for years and I never said, but I always had a crush on her.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“I heard too, this was another one of those rumors that you had proposed to Elizabeth Taylor at some point.”

“Elizabeth Taylor is gorgeous, beautiful, and she still is today, I'm crazy about her.”

“Yeah, but did you propose to her?”

“I would like to have.”

“Well, Elizabeth Taylor is here. Liz? Can we bring Liz out now? Liz had said she wanted to be here to hold your hand through this. You don't look like you need your hand held. Elizabeth Taylor!”

“Hi, Elizabeth.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Have a seat.”

“Thank you.”

“Did Michael ever propose to you?”

“No! And I never proposed to him!”

“Never did! What do you think is most misunderstood about Michael Jackson?”

“All the things you mentioned. He is the least weird man I have ever known. He is highly intelligent, true, intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, generous almost to a fault, of himself.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Uh, and he just, if, if he has any eccentricities, it's that he is like larger than life and some people just cannot accept that or face it or understand it. His talent on stage, why I call him the King of pop, rock, soul, music, entertainment, whatever,”

“Yes.”

“There's nobody that can come near him. Nobody can dance like that, write the lyrics like that, the music, uh, cause the kind of excitement that he does.”

“And why do you think you all are such good friends? What has brought about this kind of bond? Because people try to make this weird.”

“Well, it's not. I mean, our childhoods are very similar, and we have that from the very beginning in common. Um, I was a child star at nine, had an abusive father, um, and that kind of brought us close together in the very beginning.”

“And what is it, I am going to ask Michael this question later on, but, what is it you most want the world to know about him?”

“What a wonderful, giving, caring, generous man he is and how good he is.”

“And he's funny, too.”

‘Oh, he's wildly funny.”

“He can crack some jokes, I tell you.”

“Yes, but he is a good man.”

“When we come back - Thank you for joining us too -”

“That's fine.”

“‘Cause I know you did not want to be on camera at first, but thank you. Coming up next, Michael is going to give us not only a tour of his incredible amusement park and movie theater, but also a very special dance performance. For all of you who say he is faking the Moonwalk with mirrors, we've got some proof coming up in a minute.”

“Now this is what's shocking to me, that you even drive. What we're doing, everybody, is that we are coming from Michael's house down to this amazing amusement park, which is, oh, about several hundred yards from the house. And this is, it's incredible.”

“Thank you.”

“And I want to know whether or not you did this for yourself or did you do it for all the children that you entertain here?”

“For myself and the children. Every three weeks we - terminally ill children that come to - uh-”

“To the house?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Make a wish foundation, Dream Street, Starlight, yes?”

“Every three weeks - and these are sick children, children with cancer. And I entertain them.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they come here to enjoy themselves.”

“This is unbelievable. What I have to say is, these are, as I was talking to some kids that were here, these are not just grandma rides here. These are some major rides.”

I laughed.

“I mean the Sea Dragon, the Ferris Wheel, and there's that Zipper over there.”

“The Wipeout.”

“Yeah, the Wipeout, and there are Bumper cars here, it's really-”

“Thank you. Well, it brings out the child that lives in every- body. I love rides and things like that and I share it with the children.”

“Were you able to do that when you were a kid?”

“Not really. Sometimes, sometimes, but not often enough.”

“But now you can anytime.”

“Every day. It's right in my back yard.”

“How often do you actually come out here and do this?”

“Whenever I'm here I come out and I go on the rides.”

“Well, is this a part of you, what we were talking about earlier, the pain of growing up and not being able to experience all the things that kids normally experience and so now you are fulfilling all those fantasies.”

“To compensate, yes.”

“Really.”

“Yes, it is very true.”

“Do you think you can ever really recapture it though? Does it feel the same? I mean, I don't know.”

I laughed. “It's more fun.”

“Really?”

“I wouldn't change the past if I could. I'm enjoying myself.”

“And here we are inside the theater. I had one too many sugar babies at the candy counter.”

I laughed

“But the candy is here for all the kids. Pinocchio is here, ET is here. Did you - what's fascinating to me about you is that obviously you have this childlike aura about you and I see children with you and they play with you like you are one of them. But, a child did not do this.”

I laughed

“A child did not put this together. This is really magnificent.”

“Well, thank you. I - I love to do things for children and I try to imitate Jesus - and I am not saying I am Jesus, I'm not saying that.”

“Yes, we're clear on that.”

“Right, I'm trying to imitate Jesus in the fact that he said to be like children, to love children, to be as pure as children, and to make yourself as innocent and to see the world through eyes of wonderment and the whole magical quality of it all and I love that. And we'll have like a hundred bald headed children, they all have cancer, and they're all running around.”

“Um-huh.”

“And they are enjoying themselves and it makes me cry happy tears that I was able to do this for them, you know.”

“Um-huh.”

“Makes me and my wife so pleased inside.”

“Well, when I came here to, um, about a month ago to shoot a commercial with you for promoting tonight's event, one of the things that really impressed me the most, I hope you guys are getting shots of this. I don't know how you are, if all the cameras are on us, but, oh, we got other cameras - is that there are, built inside the walls here-beds-beds for some of those sick children who come. And what I realized when I saw this is that you have to be a person who really cares about children to build it into your architecture.”

“Yes, yes. We have children that come who are - who intravenously - they are very sick, bedridden-”

“They can't sit up.”

“Right. They can't sit up and these beds, they are hospital beds, you push a button, you go up or you go down and they are able to watch. We have a magic show, we show the current films, there's cartoons, anything you know, anything so they can escape to that world of magic that they don't have a chance to experience, the world I was deprived of when I was little.”

“Now let me ask you this. You know I believe everything happens in people's lives for a reason. Do you think that had you not missed a lot of, uh, the life and fun and fantasy of childhood that you would be so in touch with children today. Would you relate to them as you do?”

“I probably would, but not as much. That's why I wouldn't change a thing-”

“Really?”

“Because I am happy with the way things are and my caring for young people and everything.”

“Are you really happy now, because you seemed so sad for a long time.”

“I was sad for years and years and years.” I laughed. “But I'm happy, I'm getting there. Yes, I'm very happy.”

“And what has made you happier.”

“Being able to give back, you know, and to help other people. My wife and my kids.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Heal the World Foundation which I've formed which helps children in healing in the world. We're doing Heal L. A., which is uh, we have three primary goals in mind: Immunization of children, mentoring - a big sister, big brother program, and education in drug abuse. And Jimmy Carter has teamed up with us to do Heal Atlanta and we're going to go from state to state healing - you know we've gone to Sarajevo, we've done lots of places.”

“I know, I know, we have photographs of you from all over the world where you are with all these children. One of the things I was saying before we went to the last break, before the alarm went off in the house and all that-”

“Yeah -”

“Is that, uh, we were talking about the rumors. One of the strangest ones I heard was that when you're Moonwalking, you're faking it, that you have some mirrors in your socks someplace.

“Oh, boy!”

“And it's not really real.”

“No, that's not true.”

“How did you, first of all, you know we've spent so much time trying to dispel the rumors, trying to get the truth out that I haven't had a really opportunity to talk to you about how you conceive your music, how you conceive the dance. Where did the Moonwalk come from?”

“Well, the Moonwalk came from these beautiful children, the black kids who live in the ghettos, you know, the inner cities, who are brilliant, that just have that natural talent for dancing any of these new - the running man - any of these dances. They come up with these dances, all I did was enhance the dance.”

“O.K. I want to see you dance.”

“Oh, God, no, no.”

“I want to see you dance. I want to see you dance, live.”

“No, no. I can show you a step or two, but, I'm a little rusty right now.”

“A little rusty?!”

I went on stage and danced to Dangerous.

“That's the Moonwalk - wait, you need to catch it from the - sideways.”

“You gotta turn sideways?”

“Are you from the front?”

“Yeah, we got ya!”

“Catch it from the sideways.”

“O.K. Just show me slow motion. Could you show me slow motion?”

“O.K., wait, it's like, it's pushing and then there's like a popping type of thing.” I stopped dancing and got off the stage.

“I'm sorry.”

“Well, I saw it live, I saw it live, I saw it live. And so you took it from the kids who were doing it.” she said applauding.

“Yeah, because, um, I think they are the real dancers.”

“Yeah! And when you are, for instance, when we were here before, when we were here before to shoot that commercial, you were--”

“You were supposed to do this with me!” I said laughing

“I don't know how to do this!”

I laughed

“You know I don't know how to do this!”

I laughed

“You know what? I mean all the things that were printed in the tabloids, the only thing that's ever been true was when they said I couldn't dance. Now that's the truth!”

I laughed

“When we were here the last time shooting the commercial, you were like in between shots running off and conceiving the dance, choreographing the dance, you were up all night dancing.”

“For the Super Bowl.”

“Yes, yes.”

“Yes, well, I'm never satisfied. Even when I see something that I've done and people say oh it was so phenomenal - when I did Motown 25 and I did the Moonwalk for the first time, I was backstage crying afterwards.”

“Why?”

“Because I was unhappy.”

“You cried after Motown 25??”

“After Motown 25, yes. But, then as I was walking to the car there was this little boy, he was like 12, was a little Jewish kid, and he said, "Oh, you were amazing. Who taught you to ever dance like that?". And for the first time, I felt I did a good job, because I know children don't lie and I just felt so good about it then.”

“You wanted to, you felt so good, you probably wanted to say-” imitating me “HEE-HEE!”

“Hee-hee!” I laughed

“I want you to sing something acapella for me, if you can.”

“Oh, no! What could I sing?”

“Who is it, you know do that whole little beat thing, since we're here in the theater.”

“Um, oh, boy, what could I sing? Who Is It?”

“Where did that Hee-hee thing come from? Hee-hee.”

“Hee-hee!” I started the beat and made instrument sounds to 'Who Is It?'. I began singing. “I gave my money, I gave my time, I gave her everything in life one heart could find. It doesn't seem to matter and it doesn't seem right, but the will has brought no fortune, still I cry alone at night. Don't you judge of my composure cause I'm bothered every day, and she didn't leave a letter, she just up and ran away.”

“OOOWWWW! Fabulous!”

“I mean, you wanted me to do it! I get embarrassed. I'm sorry. I get embarrassed.”

“I like it very much. Thank you very much for that. We're going to come right back with more of Michael Jackson live” she paused. “That was GREAT!” Oprah said, hugging me.

“One of the reasons we wanted to look at that piece when we went to break there was because music videos used to be you, used to just be people singing their song until you came along and changed music videos. Did you know when you first conceived your first one that's what you were doing?”

“Yeah. The idea was to make something that was a story so it had a beginning, middle and an ending.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So it felt like a mini movie, that's what I wanted to do. And that is what we did with 'Beat It' and 'Thriller' and 'Smooth Criminal' and all those type of things.”

“So when you start to look at a piece of work or look at a piece of music, are you already thinking about how you are going to --”

“Sometimes, yes, that is very true.”

“Uh-huh. I wonder what it feels like, I will never know since I cannot sing one thing, but, what it feels like to be on stage with a sea of people, a sea of people. One of the things that has impressed me in putting the pieces together for you, is all around the world, the response to you is so incredible. I just wanted to, for the rest of you in the world who haven't seen how people respond to Michael Jackson to take a look.…”

“So, when you're standing there and there's a sea of people responding to you, screaming you name as they were, what does it feel like?”

“Love, you just feel lots of love and I feel blessed and honored to be able to be an instrument of nature that was chosen to give them that, what I give them. I'm very honored and happy about that.”

“An instrument of nature - that's an interesting way to describe your- self.”

“Thank you, yes.”

“Are you very spiritual?”

“In what sense?”

“I mean, do you, do you meditate? Do you understand that there's something bigger than yourself at work here?”

“I believe in God, absolutely, absolutely, very much.”

“Uh-huh. And I believe that everybody comes to the world for a reason. I think, um, most of us spend our lives trying to figure out what the purpose of our being here is. What do you think yours is?”

“My purpose?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, boy, I think, um, to give in the best way I can through song, and through dance and through music. I mean, I am committed to my art. I believe that all art has as it's ultimate goal the union between the material and the spiritual, the human and the divine. I believe that to be the reason for the very existence of art.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And, um, I feel I was chosen as an instrument to just give music and love and harmony to the world. To children of all ages, and um, adults and teenagers.”

“Do you think that by talking now, setting the record straight for yourself, that maybe people will be able to focus more attention on your music and not judge you for anything other than the kind of music that you play?”

“I would hope so. I would love that.”

“Well, I hope that comes out of this, too. I'm also excited that the world is watching, and because the world is watching, we thought this was a good time to let the world see the world premiere of Give In To Me.”

“So, we want to know how it starts on a piece of paper-quench my desire-and turns into that.”

“Well, Give In To Me, I wanted to write another song, you know, that was kinda exciting and fun and had a rock edge to it. You know, like when I did Beat It and Black or White. And Slash, who's a dear friend of mine, we love animals and things like that, he wanted to play guitar and I wanted him to play guitar. We got together and we went to Germany and we shot this thing in just like two hours. We had no time at all to shoot it. We wanted it to be exciting and fantastical and fans, you know, like it's a rock concert and that's how it ends up, that's the result.”

“You mentioned animals. I know everyone's going to ask me when I leave here, where are all the animals? I said it in the opening, I expected chimps to be jumping all over the living room and I didn't see any. Where's Bubbles?”

I laughed. “Well, the animals are everywhere. They're in their habitats. They're all over the ranch. And they come out in the daytime and they play and jump around, they have their own playground and area.”

“Why, why were you so fascinated by animals, do you think?”

“Because I find in animals the same thing I find so wonderful in children. That purity, that honesty, where they don't judge you, they just want to be your friend. I think that is so sweet.”

“I do, too. We'll be right back with Michael Jackson, live.” After we came back from commercial. “We're live at Michael Jackson's house, in his theater and we asked NBC for ninety minutes. I don't think it was enough time.”

I laughed.

“I think we've cleared up all the rumors though. There are no chimps running around the house-”

I chuckled.

“No oxygen tank in the house. I don't know, are you going to lay off the crotch a little bit?”

“Ask the music.” I laughed.

“Ask the music will you lay off the crotch. Oh, we didn't get about the inauguration. Did you tell President Clinton that you had to be the only person there singing?”

“That is horrible. That is the stupidest, craziest story that I have ever heard. I mean, why would I just want me and nobody else could be on the show, just me. That's so stupid, to me. I mean, it's crazy. That's not even in my heart. I would never say any- thing like that. Again, somebody made it up and the whole world believed it. It is so false, it's incredible.”

“What do you want, want most - what do you want the world to know about you most? I asked Liz that of you, what do you want them to know?”

“Like to be remembered for?”

“Not to be remembered for - what about for now? Forget remembered.”

“Oh, known for now. As to be an artist, a great artist. I, I love what I do and I would love people to love what I do and to be loved. I just simply want to be loved wherever I go. All over the world, because I love people of all races from my heart, with true affection.”

“Hmm. You know, Gene Siskel who's a movie critic asked me this question once. And I love the question, so I am going to ask you.”

“Yeah?”

“You're 34 years old. What do you know for sure?”

“Hmm. What do I know for sure?”

“What do you know for sure?”

“Oh, boy, I'm still learning. I mean, life is an education for me. I can't say that I know anything for sure. I really believe that.”

“I can't thank you enough for letting us in and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I loved being here because it makes me feel like a child again and one of the things I promised myself was that when this interview was over-live around the world- I was going to go get on that Ferris Wheel!”

I laughed.

“And that is exactly what I intend to do. I'm gonna take off my blue shoes and I'm gonna ride that Ferris Wheel!”

I continued laughing.

“I'm gonna have a good time and have myself a little popcorn, maybe, and maybe when it's all over, you'll teach me how to do the Moonwalk - when everybody's not looking!”

“O.K.! O.K.! That sounds good.”

“Yeah! This was fun!”

“Yeah! Lots of fun!”

************************************************************************

CHAPTER 21
The Charges

February 11, 1993

After Michael’s interview with Oprah last night, I was hounded by the media about what Michael had said, I offered no response. I still cared about him and I didn’t want to disrespect his privacy, but I was angry that he told the whole world we had two children.

“Michael why did you tell people we had children? Now they’re gonna be watched!”

“Well, they were gonna find out somehow.”

“I can’t stand your smart-a**.”

“Oh well.” He shrugged his shoulders.”

“What happened to you? You look terrible.”

“Why do you care?”

“Hello? You’re spending half of the week with our kids. You look like s**t. Set a damn example!”

“I loved you. You broke my heart.”

“Well you broke mine first Michael. Fix yourself up.” I walked out of the house.

************************************************************************

August 2, 1993

I was well over the divorce, but I still wasn’t over losing Leondra. John, my lawyer pulled up a suggestion that I should start dating again.

“How about Lisa Marie? I heard she’s in separation.”

“We’ll see Michael. You’re playing with fire on this one.”

“I always wanted to marry her. Now I think I have a chance.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”


August 20, 1993

Leondra called the maid and told her to tell me, that she would be here for Junior’s birthday. When she arrived, she showed up alone. No hickeys, nothing. I didn’t talk to her, she didn’t talk to me. I did want to make things right with her before I moved on with someone else. After she hugged and talked with Junior, Junior went and played with his cousins and sister. I found that to be a perfect time to strike up a conversation with her.

“Hi.” I said

“Hi.” she responded coldly.

“Can we talk?”

“Why?”

“I just want to talk.”

She gave an aggravated sigh. “Ok.”

I took her to a place where no one knew where we were.

“Well?” she asked.

“Leondra, I know you’re tired of hearing me say this, but I am sorry about hurting you.”

“Michael, I loved you. How could you do that to me?”

I have no explanation that you haven’t heard before. I just wanna make things right between us. For our children. I know Michele and Michael have no clue about this. Why we’re mad at each other and you living somewhere else. I just want our kids to be happy and not have to worry about what is going on with us.”

“I want our kids to be happy too.” she sighed. “And I am willing to make things right with you for their sake, not yours.”

“Not a problem.”

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

“He‘s not here.”

I smiled. “Okay.”

“There’s something else you wanna tell me? Don’t you?” she asked.

“No, why do you ask?”

“Come on Michael, we were together for almost twelve years and I know your habits just like you know mine.” she chuckled lightly. “So what is it? You found somebody?”

“Yeah. You do know me.”

“So who is it?”

“Lisa Marie.”

“Presley? You’re joking right?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Elvis would turn over in his grave. What does her mother think?”

“Don’t know.”

“I feel sorry for her, she doesn’t know what she’s getting into.”

“Come on Leondra. Our whole relationship wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah on your end. I can’t have kids, and you cheated on me twice or maybe more.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you in any way. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” she rolled her eyes. “I bet you are.” she scoffed and walked off.


************************************************************************

August 23, 1993

For the last five months, I spent time at the condo. I repeatedly made visits to my kids and vice versa and I was doing well at my job. I still had a relationship with Chris and I was writing letters back and forth with Marcus. Chances with Michael and I were done. As I laid in bed with Chris, I felt strange.

“You don’t love me do you?”

“What are you taking about?.”

“No, I mean as much as you loved Michael. I know you still love him.”

I paused “I admit I do a little, he gave me two kids, and he saved me from trouble.” I paused. “What ‘bout you?”

“I can’t keep sharing you with Michael and Marcus.”

“I‘m sorry you feel that way, but I have to take to care of my kids.”

“No, it’s not that. I know you still visit Marcus. Michael still loves you. I can’t keep doing that.”

“Okay, Chris.” I sighed . “Can we still be friends?”

He looked me in the eyes and smiled. “I think I can deal with that.”

August 24, 1993

I got a call from Janet about Michael.

“Michael is being accused of sexual molestation”

I was silent. “On who?”

“Some boy who he became friends with.”

“What am I supposed to do about that Janet?”

“Please check on him.”

“I’m not gonna do that”

“Look sis, Michael needs you and you need to end this feud for the sake of your kids”

“Look Jan, I’ll see what I can do” I said lying to her.

I did see my kids, but Michael was on tour, so I wasn’t able to see him until he got back to the states.

August 25, 1993

The day after I was told Michael was accused of molestation, I found the police searching the condo for anything that could put Michael behind bars.

September 16, 1993

I got a call from Michael who sounded dazed.

“Can you help me?” he asked

“Tell me what you want from me Michael.”

“I need you to be by my side. Please, I know I can make it with you here with me.”

“Michael, where are you? Where‘s Lisa?”

“I’m in a hotel in Israel.”

“You didn’t answer my other question.”

“I was getting to that.”

“You can’t reach her at the moment can you?”

“Can you come over?”

“Michael, I can’t, they are searching both homes and the kids need me.” There was silence. “Michael? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

I sighed aggravated. “Look Michael, I’ll see what I can do.”

November 12, 1993

I found free time in my schedule, so I went to visit Michael in Mexico City and waited for Michael in his hotel suite. He returned late after the show. He was thin, looked tired and haggard.

“Michael, I came as you wanted.”

“Thanks.” he replied feebly.

As I sat down on the bed, Michael began pounding on the walls with his fists.

“Michael stop!!!”

“I didn’t do it!!!” He screamed, still pounding the walls.

“Michael, calm down!!!!”

He delivered his last punch into the wall and began to throw up violently. I ran over to him and stroked his hair while he threw up. After he finished, he looked even more weak than he did when he came in.

“Do you still love me Leondra?”

“I’m here ain’t I? I had to leave the kids at home for this.”

“Why didn’t you bring them?”

“Michael, are you mad? I don’t want them to see you like this.”

Afterwards, I cleaned him up, since he was too worn out to do it.

“When we go back home, are you gonna come back?”

“Michael, I don’t know, I might take the kids to the condo for a while.”

“NO, he said lifting up his head. They are all I have left, you are all I have left.” he began to cry.

“Where’s Lisa?”

“I don’t know where she is. Can you stay with me?” he begged.

“I guess I have to, I can’t leave you alone.”

After unsuccessfully cleaning up the suite, Michael and I went back to the US.

CHAPTER 22
The Search

December 20, 1993

Before I can go to work, Michael asked me to come over, he didn’t give me a specific reason, so I went to work.

************************************************************************

I was scheduled for a photo session, where the police had required that I would be in the nude. The District Attorney was present along with my attorneys, a detective a photographer and a doctor.

It took my attorneys an hour to get me to come out of my bedroom. I didn’t want to come out, I wanted Leondra to be by my side and she was rushing to get home. I entered the parlor room wearing a brown robe. After the D.A. and my attorneys left, everyone began to get settled. I began shouting at the detectives.

“You get out! I don’t want you here for this. Get out!”

Johnnie Cochran entered the room to try to calm me down.

“Get these sons of b***hes out of here,” I screamed at them.

Even when I was seated on the couch, the D.A.’s photographer began taking pictures of me and I blocked my face with my hands.

“Where’s Michael?!! I need to see him.” Leondra yelled, entering the room.
I began to cry, she really does care about me. “Michael, are you okay? What have they done to you?”

“They’re want to take pictures of me. If I don’t, my refusal will be used as evidence in a criminal court case.”

She sighed heavily. “Michael, you know what you have to do.”

“I don’t want to do it.”

“Michael, I’ll be here for you, just get it over with.” she replied. “Can I hold his hand?” She asked the detective.

“Yes, whatever makes him feel better.” said the detective.

As I stood on the platform, I was still wearing the robe. “Please don’t make me do this,” I said my eyes watery. “This is terrible. Don’t make me.”

“Sir, we have no choice,” said one of the detectives.

Leondra then slipped her hand in mine, kissed it, and I took off the bathrobe. Under it, was wearing a bathing suit.

“You’ll have to take it off, sir, said the detective.

Leondra let go of my hand so I could remove my bathing suit. Under that, I was wearing my boxers.

“Sir please.”

Knowing that I was crying softly, Leondra gave me a kiss and I slipped off the boxers and stood naked. All eyes went to my p***s.

“Is the subject uncircumcised?“ asked the doctor. Everyone stepped in for a closer look.

“Yes he is…”

“No he’s not…”

“Yes…”

“No”

“Oh my God.” I whimpered. I became dizzy.

“Michael I’m here, it’s okay.” Leondra said, quietly sobbing.

“You don’t know?” asked one of the detectives of my physician.

“Sir, I have never seen his p***s before now.” my medic replied.

“Well the subject is clearly not circumcised.” decided the other doctor.

Then they began taking the pictures…and when they finished, I put my robe back on, and left.

“You know you are wrong for what you’ve done.” I heard Leondra say.

************************************************************************

After Michael had left, he went into the room and locked the door. For fifteen minutes, we all heard cries, shrieks and pleas and then silence. A moment later, the sound of one loud plaintive wail traveled through the house.

When Michael came out, he appeared broken, and angry.

“When this whole thing is done, I want pictures of you,” Michael said pointing angrily at one of the photographers. “And you too,” he said pointing his finger at the other one.

Then, they took more pictures of Michael naked and videotape followed. One of the doctors pulled out a ruler.

“You guys need to stop, you’ve hurt him enough!!” I screamed.

“Please,” Michael said, his tone now pleading. “Can we stop now?”

“Michael get dressed, that is it.” I told the doctors.

Michael quickly put on his robe and quickly left the room.

“How could this happen to me?” he screamed on his way out. He was shaking. He looked like he was gonna have a melt-down.

December 22, 1993

When I got to work, the phone was ringing off the hook. It was Marcus again.

“How are you holding up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Turn on the TV”

I turned on the TV, I saw a distraught Michael speaking. I stopped in my tracks.

“You may already know after my tour ended, I remained out of the country undergoing treatment for a dependency on pain medication. This mediation was initially prescribed to cede the excruciating pain that I was suffering after recently constructive surgery on my scalp. There have been many disgusting statements made recently concerning improper conduct on my part.” He paused. “These statements about me are totally false.
As I have maintained from the very beginning, I am hoping for a speedy end to this horrifying, horrifying experience to which I have been subjected. I shall not in this statement respond to the false allegations being made against me. Since my lawyers have advised me that this is not the proper forum in which to do that. I would say that I am particularly upset by the handling of this mass matter by the incredible terrible mass media. At every opportunity, the media has dissected and manipulated these allegations to reach their own conclusions. I ask all of you to wait and hear the truth before you label or condemn me.
Don’t treat me like a criminal, because I am innocent. I have been forced to submit to a dehumanizing and humiliating examination by the Santa Barbara County Sheriff Department and The Los Angeles Police Department earlier this week. They served a search warrant on me which allowed them to view and photograph my body including my penis, my buttocks, my lower torso, thighs, and any other area that they wanted.“ He began to break down. “They were supposedly looking for any discoloration, spotting, blotches, or other evidence of a skin disorder, called vitiligo which I have previously spoke about. The warrant also directed me to cooperate in any examination of my body by their physician to determine the condition of my skin including whether I have vitiligo or any other skin condition.
The warrant further stated that I had no right to refuse examination or photographs, and I failed to cooperate with them, they would introduce that refusal at any trial as an indication of my guilt. It was the most humiliating ordeal of my life.” He sighed “One that no person should ever have to suffer. And even after experiencing the indignity,” he swallowed hard. “Of this search, the parties involved were still not satisfied, and wanted to take even more pictures. It was a nightmare, a horrifying nightmare, but if this is what I have to endure to prove of my innocence, my complete innocence, then so be it. Throughout my life, I have only tried to help thousands upon thousands of children to live happy lives.
It brings tears to my eyes when I see any child who suffers. I am not guilty of these allegations. But if I am guilty of anything, it is giving all that have…” he cried. “All that I have to give to help children all over the world. It is of loving children of all ages and races, it is of gaining shear joy from seeing children with their innocent and smiling faces. It is of enjoying through them the childhood that I missed myself. If am guilty of anything, it is of believing what God said about children. “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not for such is the kingdom of Heaven.” In no way do I think that I am God, but I do try to be Godlike in my heart. I am totally innocent of any wrongdoing and I know that all these terrible allegations will be proven false. Again to my friends, and fans, thank you very much for all of your support. Together, we will see this through to the very end. I love you very much, and may God Bless you all. I love you, Goodbye.”

I stood there in complete shock. I had to find out. I headed back to Neverland.

CHAPTER 23
Christmas At Neverland

When I got there, the kids immediately jumped into my arms.

“Mommy what’s going on, there were police coming in and out” Michele said worried.

“Michele, don’t worry about it okay?” I said pinching her cheek.

“What about you Junior, are you okay?”

“Yes Mommy, I’m okay”

“Good, now where’s daddy?”

“He’s in his room” Michele answered.

“Okay now go play, don’t worry about anything, Mommy’s gonna take care of everything.”

“Ok” They both screamed as they ran off.

I headed up to what used to be our room. I found Michael sitting in the dark, crying.

“Michael?” I walked over to him slowly.

Michael picked his head up quickly and saw me there and buried his face in his hands. I walked over to him and sat next to him at the bedside.

“They humiliated me Leondra.” he stated, crying.

“I know Michael,”

“I know I may seem pathetic to you, but can you hold me?”

“Yes, Michael, hold on, let me take off my jacket”

After removing my jacket, I scooted on the bed and I held Michael while he cried. He then buried his face in my neck.

“You know I missed being with you like this.”

“I kinda missed you too”

He picked his head up; staring into my eyes. “I know you missed me a lot”

“Yeah, I did. I missed you and the kids.”

“You saw the kids almost everyday, but you shunned me”

“Michael, you hurt me” I said rubbing his back. “Michael I saw you as my father, someone I care less about. I used to see him cheat on my mom a lot. I don’t wanna be as naïve as my mom with men.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. Are you gonna be okay?”

“As long as I know you’re here with me, forever, then yes, I will be okay.”

“I can‘t. You have Lisa.”

Michael began to sob again as he buried his face in my neck again. I lifted his face to wipe away his tears.

“Thank you for being here for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Michael, that’s what friends are for and I know you wouldn’t do that to any child or anyone.”

“Can you stay with me?”

“Michael,” I sighed.

“Please, I can’t be alone.”

“Fine, but as friends ok? Nothing more.”

December 23, 1993

I was in the kitchen with the kids when Michael came in. He seemed happy and upbeat.

“Mornin’ Leondra, kids.”

“Good morning.” All three of us responded simultaneously.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.”

Michael led me back to the bedroom and closed the door. His smile faded and there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

“Michael what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how you’ll respond to this, but I need your blessing.”

“For you and Lisa?”

He looked at the ceiling to avoid my eyes. “Yes.”

“Well I can’t give you a blessing if you can’t look me in the eyes.” I smiled. He looked at me. “Michael,” I grabbed both of his hands. “You have my blessing.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Michael, I’ve moved on. You should too.” I sighed. “I gotta go to work.”

He hugged me. “Thanks, you know, for everything.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll always be there for you.” I pulled away from the hug and left.

After work, I got a call from Elizabeth.

“Hello Liz, how are you?”

“I’m fine darling, how about you?”

“I’m good, so what’s up?”

“Well, you know I’m planning Christmas at Neverland for Michael. I was wondering if you would like to come help me decorate for the party and stay for Christmas?”

“Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Great. And thanks for looking after Michael. Lisa hasn’t done a good job of doing that.”

“He’s the father of my two kids, I have to look after him. Thank you for doing the same.”

“You’re welcome. You two have very polite children.” she sighed. “Well I’ll see you in two days?”

“Yes ma’am.”


December 24, 1993

Michael and the kids were sleep and The Neverland staff, Liz and I began decorating the house. This would be Michael’s and the kids first Christmas.

December 25, 1993


“You finally talked him into it Liz, I gotta hand it to you”

“It will cheer him up, he’s had a rough year.”

“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about his drug uses.”

“Don’t worry, I took care of it. I’m just worried about his eating as I know you are. He’s been eating bread and water for days.”

“Oh” I responded despondently.

“It is 1993, and this will be Michael’s very first Christmas” Liz stated into the video camera. “It has taken me, I would think-about five years of talking him into celebrating Christmas at Neverland, because I understood that if you were a Jehovah’s Witness, they don’t celebrate Christmas. When he quit being a Jehovah’s Witness I said to Michael, “I think Christmas is a wonderful way of celebrating love. It’s a celebration of love. And I can’t see Christmas without Michael, or Michael without Christmas.” She implied. “It’s Pretty isn’t it?” Liz asked the person filming.

Liz then went to wake up Michael after we awoke the kids. It was hard to get him up, he sometimes is a heavy sleeper.

“Michael!!! Michael!!” Liz said, knocking on the door. “It’s the spirit of Christmas coming to haunt you!!” she joked.

He finally came out, and caught sight of Liz’s dog. He doesn’t like dogs because they bite. When he entered the living room, his face lit up with joy.

“Oh my God, it’s incredible I can’t believe this” said Michael as he saw me and our kids standing there.

“Merry Christmas daddy!!!” screamed Michele and Junior, running to him.

“Merry Christmas kids!!” said Michael, embracing them.

He then caught sight of me and smiled as he walked over.

“Merry Christmas Leondra” Michael said, pulling me in for a hug.

“Merry Christmas Michael.” I relied.

He then locked his fingers in mine as we began searching through the gifts.

“Santa came?” Michael asked

“Santa from Bel-Air” Liz replied.

“Santa from Bel-Air?” Michael asked chuckling. “Can I open it?”

“Sure”

For an hour Michael and the kids opened presents.

“Ooooh, I love it” said Michael opening his present that was a sweater. “I’m gonna put it on right now”

“Love it, Super Soaker!!!” Michael screamed in joy. “Now I know how to wake you and Elizabeth tomorrow”

“How?” we asked simultaneously. “Oh we, don’t think so”

“You better lock your door Liz and Leondra, be very aware” Michael said chuckling.

Michael then opened his next present. “This is a super soaker, I can feel it and tell.” Michael laughed as he was getting hit by pillows.

“I want a squirt gun. I want a squirt machine gun” Liz implied as she grabbed the present from Michael.

“She’s snatching presents” Michael stated.

There was a present for Liz, but she let Michael have it. “It for you, but can I have it?”

“Yes”

“Thank you”

“What is it?” I asked

“It’s a water gun”

“How do you know it’s a water gun?” I asked

“Cause I see it at the top”

“That’s not fair!!!” Liz pouted playfully.

“Thank you you’re too kind”

We all cheered when Liz got her water machine gun. The kids got barbies and cars and Michael got water guns. After everyone had left, Michael and I retreated to his room, and laid down.

“You know,” Michael said turning to me. “I thank you and Liz for doing what you did, but I felt guilty.”

“Why Michael?” I asked.

“Because,” he paused as he caressed my cheek with his hand. “All my life I’ve been raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I just feel like I betrayed my religion.”

“Michael,” I said as I removed his hand from my cheek to kiss it. “It’s okay, they kicked you out. Don’t you feel betrayed?”

“Sorta”

“Then don’t worry ‘bout it”

“Okay” Michael said looking deep into my eyes.

Michael then gently took hold of my hand and kissed my fingers.

“I love you Michael”

“I love you more.”

I got up and went to sleep in the guest room.

************************************************************************

CHAPTER 24
The Proposal

January 17, 1994

It was the middle of the night and the phone was ringing.

“Hello”

“Did I wake you?” Leondra asked.

“Yes, but it’s ok. Is something bothering you?” I asked

“Yes, something is bothering me. It’s you Michael.”

“What did I do?”

“It’s two things, this settlement and your drugs”

“I don’t want to talk about it” I suggested.

“No, Michael we need to talk” she paused. “Michael, I’m just worried about the drugs.”

“You won’t, I’ll be fine”

“Michael, can you promise me that you will try to get off the drugs?”

“Ok” I sighed. “I’ll try. What about the settlement?”

“I was at work the other day, and I decided to look at your case, and I found info on the boy and his father.”

“What was it?”

“It’s a set up, Michael, you are being set up.”

“I know, but I want it to just go away.”

“What about the public?”

“I don’t care what they think, it’s what I know is the truth, and I didn’t do it.” I said

“So you’re choosing to settle?”

“Yep”

“Alright then. We‘ll have to talk about that then.”

February 15, 1994

I called Leondra at her job to see if she wanted to go to lunch, she wasn’t there; her co worker had told me that she took the day off. For the afternoon, I called around to see where she was, but nobody knew where she was; I began to get worried. It was seven o’clock when she called.

“Where were you, I called around everywhere?”

“Michael,” she sighed “Can I talk to you ?”

“Ok” I said as I walked into my room.

“Make sure your sitting down, this isn’t gonna be easy”

“What’s wrong?”

She let out a heavy sigh. “I had a day off today ‘cause I went to California State Prison.”

“What were you doing over there, since it was your day off?” I asked curiously.

“I made a visit to Marcus…”

“You what!?” I yelled as I got up. “Why would you visit him after all that he has done to you?”

“I felt sorry.”

I laughed trying to hide my rage. “You felt sorry.” I said as I walked around my room.

“Michael…”

“Let me ask you one question: did you come back ‘cause you felt sorry?” I said in a fit of rage. “No don’t even answer that. Now I know everything.”

“You wait a minute!!!” she shot back at me. “Who the hell are you to talk. I stood by you for years even when you cheated on me.”


“I’ll call you later.” I hung up, and I called Lisa.

March 21, 1994

I haven’t talked to Leondra since the argument, but she was coming over to pick up the kids to take them out for ice cream. I was against that.

“Why can’t they just have ice cream here?” I asked.

“Get off my back okay? I’m their mother.”

Before she walked off, I grabbed her by the arm. “Look, I don’t want you bringing my daughter or my son around him. Got It?”

“Michael, do you think I’m that stupid?” she sighed. “Go back to Lisa and leave me the f**k alone.”

************************************************************************

April 25, 1994

Just when I was going to pick up Junior and Michele, I got a call from Marcus.

“Hello Marcus.”

“Hi sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m good. You seem happy. What’s up?”

“My attorney applied for parole.”

“Wow.” I said sarcastically. “Did you tell Cheryl?”

“Yeah. Look I may be denied parole so can you come visit me?”

“When?”

“Today.”

“Marcus, I can’t. Today I’m spending time with my kids.”

“Bring them here.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Michael does not want you around our kids and I don’t want them in that kind of environment. Maybe next week okay?”

“Sure.” he sighed. “You know I get the privilege of leaving campus a little in a trailer.”

“So?”

“We can get private time. I don’t like my mates listening to our conversations.”

“Okay Marcus. I’ll see you next week okay?”

“Okay. Love You.” he cooed.

“Yep.”

“What? I’m not hanging up ’til you say it.”

“Fine.” I sighed. “ I love you.”

May 4, 1994

As I said, I went to the prison trailer where Marcus was. He greeted me with a warm hug.

“So how’s everything?”

“Do you have to ask? I talked to you last week.”

His hand caressed my cheek. “Relax.”

“Sorry.”

“Now that we’re alone there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“What?”

Marcus got down on one knee. “Marry me?”

I stood there in shock. “Marcus, what do you want from me?”

“Your hand in marriage. I love you. Besides my sister, you’re the only one who has visited me.”

“Marcus. Now isn’t the time.”

“Could you let me know in a week?”

“Marcus-”

“Please. If I do get out, I want something to look forward to when I get out.”

“Marcus, no matter what you did, I will always be there for you.” I stood up.

He pulled me back on his lap and kissed me on the cheek. “Let me know.”

“Marcus let me up and I will let you know in a week if you let me go.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please?”

He cupped my cheeks in his hands and planted a kiss on my lips.

May 5, 1994

I was very nervous to tell anyone that Marcus had proposed to me…yet again. The first person I decided to tell was Cheryl. She wasn’t surprised that he would do such a thing. I was more worried about Michael’s reaction to it, if he ever would find out.

When I got home from work, I automatically turned on the TV.

“This is a news update. Michael Jackson’s ex-wife has again been asked for her hand in marriage. The man who proposed wasn’t Michael, but it was her ex-boyfriend who is serving a prison sentence for assault.”

I sat there in disbelief. I know Michael knows about it and he must be outraged.

CHAPTER 25
Michael's Wedding

May 11, 1994

I got a call from Marcus. I was supposed to give him a final answer on his proposal. I had a few drinks and pondered the thought of being married to Marcus.

“So what’s your decision?”

“Marcus, I’ll marry you.”

“You will?!”

“Yes Marcus.”

************************************************************************

May 15, 1994

I was watching TV with Lisa when another newsflash showed up. I was already mad about that b*****d’s proposal.

“Breaking news: Michael Jackson’s ex-wife has accepted her ex-boyfriend’s proposal.”

My mind went blank, I couldn’t hear anything. I got up and started pacing around the room and talking to myself.

“How could she do this?! Why?!” I screamed.

“Michael.” Lisa tried to calm me down. “Michael!”

“What?! What?!” I screamed.

“Chill out. Sit down.”

I sat down on the edge of the bed.

May 26, 1994

Today I was marrying for a second time to Lisa. I’ll be honest, I’m real nervous. I was in the Dominican Republic. I tried to hold my composure on how beautiful Lisa looked. I took her hands in mine and kissed both of them. The opening words of the minister didn’t get my attention until he said, “If there is a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” You can cut the tension in the room with a knife, or maybe it was me who was tense. I began to get so nervous, that I began rocking back and forth on my toes. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. After we had said our vows, it was time to finalize our marriage. I went first.

I turned to her, holding her hands within mine, staring in to her eyes. “I, Michael Joseph Jackson take you, Lisa Marie Presley, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God's guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband.”


“I, Lisa Marie Presley take you, Michael Joseph Jackson, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. Michael, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.”

The minister then called upon my ring bearer son for the rings. As I placed the ring on her finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment.” I repeated the words of the minister and grinned at her, we were just about married.

She had repeated the same words of the minister and then he made it official.

“With the powers invested in me, I pronounce you both husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

We now became one. Everyone clapped as I pulled away from the kiss.

“Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the loving couple; Mr. and Mrs. Jackson…” The minister ended the procession.

May 27, 1994

I was the same way last night like I was when I got married to Leondra. I was very self conscious of my body. Afterwards, the love making was good. I put on a robe and my boxers while Lisa was sleep and walked outside. Just now it dawned on me that Leondra was really going to marry the man who tortured her for three months. I was lost in deep thought about Leondra when Lisa came up behind me.

“What are you thinking about?” Lisa asked.

“Leondra.”

“Michael, she’s a grown woman. She makes her own decisions.”

“I know, but I have this feeling that she’s in trouble.”

June 13, 1994

I went to the condo where me and Leondra once shared a home. She was there by herself and was getting ready to go somewhere.

“Hi, Michael. I haven’t seen you in months.”

“I know. Before we start, happy birthday.”

“Thanks. Can you make this quick? I gotta be somewhere.”

“I wanted to talk to you about Marcus.”

“What about him?”

“You’re making a mistake”

“I just decided to give him a second chance. You have a problem with that?”

“Yes, I do. I just don’t want my kids around him okay?”

“I know I heard you before when you told me. I gave you three chances so back off.” she sighed. “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be with your wife?”

I sneered at her. “How much did you have to drink?”

“I didn‘t. Not like you. When you put rum in coke cans.” she raised an eyebrow.

“Let me go before I get mad.”
“Go, I don’t need you. All you do is walk away.”

“I’m not walking away.” I said in an angry tone. “Not yet.”

“You need to. I stepped back when you got married.”

I sighed. “Okay then. I’ll back off, but don’t come crying to me.”

************************************************************************

July 15, 1994

I was the only one left in my office when I got a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Leondra, this is Cheryl.”

“What’s up?”

“I don’t wanna put this job on you but can you pick up Marcus from prison? He was granted parole.”

“I’m surprised, he would usually call me.”

“He tried to call you, but you weren’t at home. And he wants to spend time with you.”

“Oh boy.”

“You are his fiancé.”

“Ok, I’ll pick him up on my way home.”

I hung up and headed towards California State. When I arrived, Marcus greeted me with a hug and a kiss.

“How’s my fiancé?”

“I’m doing fine.” I sighed.

Marcus’ smile faded. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just got off from work. I’m a little tired.”

“You want me to drive?”

“If you want to.”

Marcus opened the passenger door and help me in. He got in the driver’s seat and we drove off.

“So feel better driving again?”

“Yeah.” he bit his lip and looked at me.

I remained silent and he drove us to my house. Marcus got out of the car first and opened the door for me.

I stopped walking and I grabbed Marcus’s hand. “I hope you are ready for the media.”

“What?”

“There’s one over there.” I pointed to a cameraman.

“Oh.”

He took me by the hand and led me to the door. I felt awkward being there with Marcus alone. He lifted my hand by his mouth and kissed it.

He had a strong gaze in his eyes. “I know you’re nervous about me.”

“I am.”

He put my hand down and walked outside towards the deck; I followed him. He was standing there crying. Marcus had his hands folded and I broke that hold and hugged him. He hugged me back.

“I really want this to work Leondra. I really do.”

“It will if you listen.”

“I’m willing to do anything as long as I have you.”

August 20, 1994


With reluctance I was invited to Junior’s sixth birthday party. I had to leave Marcus at Cheryl’s. The first person I saw was Lisa. She walked up to me, and we began to talk.

“So how’s Michael?”

“He’s good.”

Just about when I was going to ask another question, Janet interrupted.

“Hey Leondra!” Janet hugged me. “Can we talk?”

“Um, sure.” I paused. “Lisa I’ll talk to you later.”

I followed Janet back into the house and we talked in a room where nobody else was.

“So, what’s up?” I asked.

“It’s Michael.”

“What about him?”

“He’s not happy with Lisa.”

“And?”

“All he’s been doing is talking about you. When he talks to me he says “Leondra never did this, Leondra never did that.”” she paused. “He believes that he should still be married to you. He’s devastated about Marcus.”

“I can’t do anything about that.”

“Call off the marriage.”

“I can’t do that.”

There was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Janet asked.

“It’s me Dunk.” Michael replied.

“Come in.” Janet said as Michael entered. There was an awkward silence between all three of us. “I think you two need to talk.” Janet said leaving the room and closing the door.

I sighed out of frustration. “What Michael?”

“I’m not here to talk, I need to take a break from everyone.”

“Okay. I’ll leave you alone.”

“No!” he shouted. “Can you just…sit here with me for a while?”

“Michael…” I paused. “Okay.” We sat there in silence. “What’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Janet told me.”

“Look,” he sighed. “I really do feel like we should still be married.”

“You wrecked that Michael.” I got up and I left.

I went out in front of the house and joined the rest of the family. Michele and Michael jr. hung on to my legs. After about a minute they let go and ran off to play with their cousins. I walked off alone and stood by the giving tree. Jermaine came up behind me a startled me.

“What do you want?”

“I heard you’ve been giving out a lot of love. So I thought you can give me a shot.”

“Hell no!”

As I tried to get away, he backed me up against the tree. As he tried to make a move I saw Michael sneak up behind him.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“Taking care of business.”

In less than a second, I saw Michael land a punch to the side of Jermaine’s face.

“Michael!” I pulled him back.

“If you ever touch her again-”

“I will.” he got up and laughed.

“F**k you!!”

“Michael come on.” I pleaded.

“I’m telling you Jermaine if you ever touch her again, that’s you’re a**!!”

“Michael! Let’s go!” I said pulling his arm.

Michael finally gave in and followed me back to the house. I was furious. “Michael, there are kids out there.”

“I’m tired of him talking about you.”

“Michael, I do not care.”

“I do!!”

“Michael, you shouldn’t be worried.”

“I love you!! Do you hear me Leondra!!! I love you!!!”

“I think I should go.”

I left Michael and said goodnight to my kids and headed home. Marcus was sleep when I came in. I snuck into bed and fell asleep.

“How was the party?” he asked.

“You’re not sleep?”

“No, I was waiting for you.”

“Oh, well anyways, it was chaotic like always.”

“What happened?”

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Depends.”

“Jermaine made a pass at me.”

Marcus sat up. “What?!”

“Marcus you don’t want to go back to jail okay?”

“I don’t care I-”

I ended his angry speech with a kiss. His hand traveled up my thigh. “There. Does that help you?” I broke the kiss.

“Yeah.” he licked and bit his lips. “I’m gonna go sleep on the couch.”

************************************************************************

I was pacing after tonight. Lisa came in and checked on me.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

January 20, 1995

I just finished recording for my new album. Lisa came in my room and told me that I had an urgent phone call.

“Hello?”

“Michael.”

“Leondra? What’s wrong?”

“It’s my mom.”

“What happened?”

“She collapsed. I don’t know what happened.” she said sobbing.

“I’ll be right there. Hang on!!”

I really like that story
kinda long but still

Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wat happened next?

well i wish i knew
thats all i could find of it!!
grr lmao

wher didja get it in da 1st place?
ill hunt the author down and make them finish it!!

hahaahaha jk

angelpup is not jk

well if she is im not where did you find this

i got it from themjifc.com
but im soo annoyed i can't find it on the website anymore!! >
LOL

ill try 2
and jalisa... whoa scarty much? i thought i was the only violent person on here!
welcome to Violentsville, Mikegamictopia! where we punish ppl who cant f-ing finish sumthing awesomely awesome (like Cat^^, i will get u, and i'll eat u alive)

angelpup wrote:

ill try 2
and jalisa... whoa scarty much? i thought i was the only violent person on here!
welcome to Violentsville, Mikegamictopia! where we punish ppl who cant f-ing finish sumthing awesomely awesome (like Cat^^, i will get u, and i'll eat u alive)

i dont know about the eatin part but i will get you

yay violentsville

jalisa wrote:

angelpup wrote:

ill try 2
and jalisa... whoa scarty much? i thought i was the only violent person on here!
welcome to Violentsville, Mikegamictopia! where we punish ppl who cant f-ing finish sumthing awesomely awesome (like Cat^^, i will get u, and i'll eat u alive)

i dont know about the eatin part but i will get you

yay violentsville

naw ill get u

meap o.o

u damn straight

LOL
xD

i aint playin gurl!
imma cut u

aw crap
well
WHY?

I swear to you if I didn't know better I'd think this was a collection of actual events.

Whoever this person is, she should be commended and awarded for this fic

It's amazing, even though it's incomplete and it took me forever to finish cuz it's like reading a damn novel but anyway I love this and can't wait to read the rest

ikr
but still
cat, imma cut u if u aint find the author